CandyK__
Mercy on me, would you please spare me tonight?
- Mar 13, 2023
- 124
There is a loneliness in all of us. We can find others, and lose them. We can find ourselves and lose us. We're painfully human, and it's only real to feel the way we do. In my every attempts at suicide I've felt separated from everyone else. It took me time and realization that everyone's feeling bad most of the time. It's a crude world, but that doesn't diminish it's value.
Whenever I remind myself that so much of us feel that way, I know that this hour, day, week even month will pass. Happiness isn't real, nor is sadness. We're subjective observers, living an objective world. Still that world is silent, and only those others subjective viewers speak and make noise.
I've felt alone, but soon I realized it wasn't others who were ignoring me. It was me who was ignoring everyone. The world is not fighting us, life is a battle between, me and I. Understanding that world is neutral, and I'm the variable is a great way to make sense of everything.
The problem is always in us, we were born wrong, so beautifully wrong. Even though a lot of these days I find it hard to get out of bed, I still find comfort in this painful life. I think life can get better, sure tomorrow I might feel like I regret everything I wrote, and I might go back to sh, and consider ctb, still today is good, and after all today is all there is.
Focusing on the moment, this or one in a future helps me cope. When life's good be here, when it's bad, try to be till it passes.
Repeating that everything will be fine, as an affirmation really helps me, it might work for you.
Whenever I remind myself that so much of us feel that way, I know that this hour, day, week even month will pass. Happiness isn't real, nor is sadness. We're subjective observers, living an objective world. Still that world is silent, and only those others subjective viewers speak and make noise.
I've felt alone, but soon I realized it wasn't others who were ignoring me. It was me who was ignoring everyone. The world is not fighting us, life is a battle between, me and I. Understanding that world is neutral, and I'm the variable is a great way to make sense of everything.
The problem is always in us, we were born wrong, so beautifully wrong. Even though a lot of these days I find it hard to get out of bed, I still find comfort in this painful life. I think life can get better, sure tomorrow I might feel like I regret everything I wrote, and I might go back to sh, and consider ctb, still today is good, and after all today is all there is.
Focusing on the moment, this or one in a future helps me cope. When life's good be here, when it's bad, try to be till it passes.
Repeating that everything will be fine, as an affirmation really helps me, it might work for you.
