Venting The worse people do the best in life

[HayBunny23]

Life is so silly, and it rewards horrible behavior. Only the people who can lie to themselves seem happy. People do horrible things and then don't even think more about it than a person stepping on an ant.
I always think to myself, why am I so guilty all the time when people walk around, literal monsters, rabid bipedal apes, constantly seeking to fulfill the greed in their heart?
People will always do what they think they can get away with; Legally, but also mentally. I can't live with guilt at all, it eats me up. Even though I can make accurate logical argument about how I'm better, I'm not. I wish that I could so get away with it. I wish I could get away with all the same horrible things these people do. I can't though, the guilt is my master, and I obey.
I dream of becoming more animalistic. Like an animal, I'll live not worrying about what my existence means. No guilt for doing natural things for my own survival. No other animals making me feel guilty for wanting to survive.... just experience and instinct. I dream of being some wild animal. All my instincts and human desire involves building a big nest, shoving my mate and my babies in there, and clawing anything that comes near it. My Stoopid human brain says that's dumb, you want to die instead.
I think id be happier if I just listened to my dumb animal brain, but my dumb hooman brain is too much of a small peen energy boi to accept we are animals and aren't better.. we aren't better and we don't know better.
It's easier to accept it about other people than myself. I look at the evil things people do and just go "what do you expect from an animal?" but myself? Nope, unforgivable, I'm a smart human that knows better than most humans and I'm "better than everyone else" apparently, so my flaws are unforgivable purposefully malicious acts to do harm.
I can't even live with the guilt of asking or needing basic things for survival. My hubby loves making me food but I feel guilty for him doing it. I feel guilty for being alive, guilty for wanting to die. I feel guilty that I'm sick, that I need help. I feel guilty I'm so lazy and entitled. I feel like a complete waste of time, space, and energy. I'm just pointless and I should die.

 

[bluville]

I think in terms of celebrities' and the wealthy 98% of them are bad people, but among normal folk I don't think theres much of a pattern which is more heart breaking, doesn't matter how you act if your circumstances are fucked your fucked. I don't think rich people even benefit that much from being sociopaths they just know they can get away with it so the do it. Humans are not meant to have that much power.

 

[VioletNight]

I think it's a product of the fact that you can't get to being that wealthy and successful without just using people for your own bidding.
Like the term "work harder" is illogical, no billionaire could ever physically work harder than over 10 million people put together. It's just a distraction from the fact that most of the wealthy and famous used very immoral methods and have a trail of victims along their journey.
Thank you for being a caring and considerate person though, we need more people like you in this world.

 

[Blackroom_57]

"The worse the man, the better the soldier."

-Napoleon

 

[Pluto]

Human systems do reward unethical behaviour. Only some actually get into trouble, but the majority are shielded by the resources and obedience that money can buy. Dark Triad people who lack empathy have a huge advantage.

As for guilt, the origin tends to be childhood abuse, which might itself involve Dark Triad people for you as it did for me. The child learns to take blame for the mistreatment since the abusers acts like nothing is wrong, and a story of being unworthy becomes deeply entrenched. The contradictory feelings of being above average is just the opposite side of the same coin. This is the mess that parents or schools can leave behind.

 

[sserafim]

This is a factor in why I believe that the world is inherently evil and messed up. The bad people get ahead