The will to live is priceless

[bigj75]

Just a few years ago i had more money than I've ever had in my life but the most depressed I've ever been.
The happiest I've ever been when i was healthy and playing football but completely broke at the time (teen years).

It's made me realize how rich people can kill themselves.

 

[Vegrau]

Just a few years ago i had more money than I've ever had in my life but the most depressed I've ever been.
The happiest I've ever been when i was healthy and playing football but completely broke at the time (teen years).

It's made me realize how rich people can kill themselves.

Life and its irony..

 

[bigj75]

Life and its irony..

 

[Vegrau]

Hahahaha... Truly matchless indeed. We both tasted it.

 

[MsM3talGamer]

At least rich people have more methods and means at their disposal. I bet they can get hold of N in a heartbeat (if they know about it of course).

 

[DeletedUser4739]

Just a few years ago i had more money than I've ever had in my life but the most depressed I've ever been.
The happiest I've ever been when i was healthy and playing football but completely broke at the time (teen years).

It's made me realize how rich people can kill themselves.

It is truly a double-edged sword. Money made things easier, but also added layers of complication and distraction for me that snowballed into insanity. That form on insanity was more palatable to people than the one I mainly display these days. Being a productive member of society by their standards was good enough for them. It took me a long time to understand it wasn't adequate for me in too many ways.

I notice you wrote you were happiest when you were healthy. The integral relationship between money and access to healthcare resources, all the different forms available, is what is disturbing to me here. I don't think that for myself, no matter how much money I had, I wasn't going to be content without health. Figuring out how to grasp onto some kind of health without resources is soul crushing.

 

[bigj75]

At least rich people have more methods and means at their disposal. I bet they can get hold of N in a heartbeat (if they know about it of course).

that's true. Not saying money isn't important but to have the well to live at your full potential you need something more than money.

 

[DeletedUser4739]

"Wanton malice" What an exquisite exchange here; the imagery is powerful. For being manic af lately, that exchange there held my attention. Now, lots to think about...

 

[bigj75]

It is truly a double-edged sword. Money made things easier, but also added layers of complication and distraction for me that snowballed into insanity. That form on insanity was more palatable to people than the one I mainly display these days. Being a productive member of society by their standards was good enough for them. It took me a long time to understand it wasn't adequate for me in too many ways.

I notice you wrote you were happiest when you were healthy. The integral relationship between money and access to healthcare resources, all the different forms available, is what is disturbing to me here. I don't think that for myself, no matter how much money I had, I wasn't going to be content without health. Figuring out how to grasp onto some kind of health without resources is soul crushing.

My health issue is beyond what money can fix ( can buy). It could have been fixed at one point ( which wouldn't have required much money) but it's too late.

 

[DeletedUser4739]

My health issue is beyond what money can fix ( can buy). It could have been fixed at one point ( which wouldn't have required much money) but it's too late.

I hear you. I don't want to like that post, because I understand it all too well. As of yesterday, I'm up to 20 medications a day for me now...not pills, but medications alone--way more pills, water, proper nutrition, reduce stress, etc. than I feel is manageable along with the injuries, diseases and simply life. Something has to give, and it has been my mind and body. Ugh, anyway. Thank you for posting this. It's helpful to me. For you as well, I hope.

 

[Ella Disenchanted]

I'd rather be rich and miserable rather than the poor and miserable that I am now.

 

[Midnight]

Tbh if i was rich i wouldn't be thinking about killing myself (not anytime soon atleast). I've been buying distraction from my urge to ctb for years. You could call it buying time. But i'm nearly broke now and have no "normal" future ahead because of it. I wouldn't have daily physical pain at work because i wouldn't have to work and i could get some physical issue's fixed boosting my self worth/esteem. Do things i alway's dreamed of ... Etc etc

Though i can surely understand that even wealthy people want to kill themselves even though they don't have money issue's.

I'm nearly positive that i could subdue the depression enough to not kill myself (for atleast 2 decades or so).

I'm fully aware that for alot of people here the money wouldn't matter nor be able to change their mind.

 

[bigj75]

I'd rather be rich and miserable rather than the poor and miserable that I am now.

I completely agree. I have nothing against money. It's just I realize in my opinion mental and physical health is the only thing more important. I can be rich as fuck but if I'm in horrible mental or physical condition that cant be fixed with money then if still want to die. But I've been healthy and broke before which was great for what it was.

But of course if I'm miserable id rather be rich and miserable than poor and miserable.

 

[ReadyasEver]

There's probably a fair amount of truth to having money helps cure all ills.
I stand as an example to the contrary. I had a fanstastic career and a significant owner in a company. I sold that company five years ago, and did extremely well financially. I set my family up very well, and my wife still works as a nurse practitioner, we are in very good shape. No debt, investments, and very comfortable lifestyle.
Money attracts the worst kind. How many people want to be your friend because you are well off, so superficial. Materialism is an ugly business. We were very fortunate to avoid all of this most of the time. Talk about leaving a very bad taste in your mouth watching how affluent operate in society. Yuck.
Even in illness I was offered treatment options because I had the means to pay for it.
Money cured nothing for me, as I approach the end it meant nothing really. The only thing that has meaning is the family I will leave behind. I think they will be OK. There will be sadness, sorrow, and some anger. They will understand in the end.

 

[TAW122]

There's probably a fair amount of truth to having money helps cure all ills.
I stand as an example to the contrary. I had a fanstastic career and a significant owner in a company. I sold that company five years ago, and did extremely well financially. I set my family up very well, and my wife still works as a nurse practitioner, we are in very good shape. No debt, investments, and very comfortable lifestyle.
Money attracts the worst kind. How many people want to be your friend because you are well off, so superficial. Materialism is an ugly business. We were very fortunate to avoid all of this most of the time. Talk about leaving a very bad taste in your mouth watching how affluent operate in society. Yuck.
Even in illness I was offered treatment options because I had the means to pay for it.
Money cured nothing for me, as I approach the end it meant nothing really. The only thing that has meaning is the family I will leave behind. I think they will be OK. There will be sadness, sorrow, and some anger. They will understand in the end.

Yeah, I remember watching some videos about people who won the lottery and that while they have more access to things that they normally wouldn't, it also complicated their lives by adding more stress such as managing money, managing people who come out of the woodwork just because you are 'rich.' (I call those gold diggers). I can see some parallel about people just wanting to befriend those that are rich when they otherwise wouldn't, maybe it's human nature I don't know...

A similar example would be when I was in college in my freshman year, I was among the top 2-5% of the class and there are even people like asking me to do their College Algebra and Calculus homework, like holy shit, they worshipped me like I'm some saint, but I'm not really. As a socially naive person, I tried to help them (without cheating or actually doing their homework for them, but explaining it to them) and then later, when I was outclassed later in upper division courses, that was becoming less and less of a thing. I figured out that people just want to reap my benefits without really anything that benefited me.

 

[wxtyubidi7y]

My ctb is entirely due to apparently unfixable pain/disability issues, which happen to render me impoverished .... Being wealthy would maybe allow for some symptomatic relief but wouldn't really change the situation. I still wouldn't be able to import useful things into my tough-customs country (I had some meto seized and now my address is on file).

 

[gingerplum]

Yes, money makes life easier in most respects.

That said, the happiest times of my life-- the moments where I laughed the hardest with my friends, or felt the most loved by a significant other-- had nothing to do with money.

 

[Vegrau]

My ctb is entirely due to apparently unfixable pain/disability issues, which happen to render me impoverished .... Being wealthy would maybe allow for some symptomatic relief but wouldn't really change the situation. I still wouldn't be able to import useful things into my tough-customs country (I had some meto seized and now my address is on file).

To think they even seize meto like sone hard drug. Keeping people from dying wont help anyone. It will end up hurting more people.

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

Yes, money makes life easier in most respects.

That said, the happiest times of my life-- the moments where I laughed the hardest with my friends, or felt the most loved by a significant other-- had nothing to do with money.

this

good relationships (family, friends, love) are so fucking important for happiness. its literally everything combined with physical health


unfortunately i realised this too late

 

[Ella Disenchanted]

There's probably a fair amount of truth to having money helps cure all ills.
I stand as an example to the contrary. I had a fanstastic career and a significant owner in a company. I sold that company five years ago, and did extremely well financially. I set my family up very well, and my wife still works as a nurse practitioner, we are in very good shape. No debt, investments, and very comfortable lifestyle.
Money attracts the worst kind. How many people want to be your friend because you are well off, so superficial. Materialism is an ugly business. We were very fortunate to avoid all of this most of the time. Talk about leaving a very bad taste in your mouth watching how affluent operate in society. Yuck.
Even in illness I was offered treatment options because I had the means to pay for it.
Money cured nothing for me, as I approach the end it meant nothing really. The only thing that has meaning is the family I will leave behind. I think they will be OK. There will be sadness, sorrow, and some anger. They will understand in the end.

I absolutely understand that being well off doesn't always pay off (pun intended). It stuck out to me when you wrote about wealth attracting the worst kind of people. Funnily enough, when you lose everything everybody disappears. It seems the odds are stacked against us no matter what we do.

 

[Final Escape]

Just a few years ago i had more money than I've ever had in my life but the most depressed I've ever been.
The happiest I've ever been when i was healthy and playing football but completely broke at the time (teen years).

It's made me realize how rich people can kill themselves.

What is missing for you? What is not working?

 

[bigj75]

What is missing for you? What is not working?

organ failure. It ruined my career, looks, and self confidence. The most fucked up part is that it all could have been avoided.