I did the majority of stuff in life that I wanted to do. I still find life has more cons (negative points/aspects) than pros. Also being a human you are dependent on other people, which denies me real freedom and I am enslaved to other humans or society.
I want to travel to somewhere else (another city or country) where no one knows me. Check in into a hotel or stay in a forest (with no people in radius of 10 miles) in a tent. I did take with me the medication or drugs that will cause the end to my life. I did take medication that lowers anxiety and avoids me from throwing up/puking (anti-emetic) before hand as well. I am also fasting for 4+ hours. I will get myself into a good mood and I will listen to songs I like. I will move my body and kind of dance. But it's done in a way where I get to day dream or disassociate from real life. I will be in somewhat of trance and joy. Before that daydream really start I will let a countdown count for 3 minutes.
Then when the countdown ended. It will make an alarm, so I am aware of it. Now, I am in a very good mood. It's time to say goodbye. This will be a happy ending. Not the alternative, which is dying slowly in pain without any human dignity. The alternative which could happen with a chance of 90% or more.
Time to say goodbye. I will take the medication now. I prefer N. But I would take also other drug, that causes euphoria during the dying process like Fentanyl (I am NOT condoning it and NOT recommending it).
I want to die in a happy mood, where I am also somewhat day dreaming. Jumping around like a little child with joy. I am into spiritual feeling where you imagine exiting stuff. I try to experience that when I am walking at night and listening to music.
I did swallow the medication. The real loss of consciousness will set in in 5 to 20 minutes. Now my dancing and moving around gets to the exiting part. Now I will change to songs I really like. The songs that make me very happy and I want to die for. I did prepare this playlist beforehand as well. This playlist contains 6 songs. Sorted by the most favorite to the least favorite song.
The last act: I will move more and push myself to daydream and derealize much more. I do that by spinning around.
Now, I continue doing that last act till I make a seamless and exiting transition into losing my consciousness. It will be nearly like going into sleep (real sleep mode).
The loss of consciousness due the medication has been reached. I am still breathing, but this will soon be lower and lower, till it will cause brain death. During this process I already lost my consciousness, so I will feel nothing. 20 minutes to maximum 4 hours later. I am now officially (medically) brain dead.
This has been a peaceful ending. I am thankful for everyone who supported me. I did say goodbye to my old parents. Left them some (inheritance) money and a small gift.
Now back to reality. It will be difficult to do this. But that's want I want to if I have the possibility. This is part of my personal freedom and human right.
I want to travel to somewhere else (another city or country) where no one knows me. Check in into a hotel or stay in a forest (with no people in radius of 10 miles) in a tent. I did take with me the medication or drugs that will cause the end to my life. I did take medication that lowers anxiety and avoids me from throwing up/puking (anti-emetic) before hand as well. I am also fasting for 4+ hours. I will get myself into a good mood and I will listen to songs I like. I will move my body and kind of dance. But it's done in a way where I get to day dream or disassociate from real life. I will be in somewhat of trance and joy. Before that daydream really start I will let a countdown count for 3 minutes.
Then when the countdown ended. It will make an alarm, so I am aware of it. Now, I am in a very good mood. It's time to say goodbye. This will be a happy ending. Not the alternative, which is dying slowly in pain without any human dignity. The alternative which could happen with a chance of 90% or more.
Time to say goodbye. I will take the medication now. I prefer N. But I would take also other drug, that causes euphoria during the dying process like Fentanyl (I am NOT condoning it and NOT recommending it).
I want to die in a happy mood, where I am also somewhat day dreaming. Jumping around like a little child with joy. I am into spiritual feeling where you imagine exiting stuff. I try to experience that when I am walking at night and listening to music.
I did swallow the medication. The real loss of consciousness will set in in 5 to 20 minutes. Now my dancing and moving around gets to the exiting part. Now I will change to songs I really like. The songs that make me very happy and I want to die for. I did prepare this playlist beforehand as well. This playlist contains 6 songs. Sorted by the most favorite to the least favorite song.
The last act: I will move more and push myself to daydream and derealize much more. I do that by spinning around.
Now, I continue doing that last act till I make a seamless and exiting transition into losing my consciousness. It will be nearly like going into sleep (real sleep mode).
The loss of consciousness due the medication has been reached. I am still breathing, but this will soon be lower and lower, till it will cause brain death. During this process I already lost my consciousness, so I will feel nothing. 20 minutes to maximum 4 hours later. I am now officially (medically) brain dead.
This has been a peaceful ending. I am thankful for everyone who supported me. I did say goodbye to my old parents. Left them some (inheritance) money and a small gift.
Now back to reality. It will be difficult to do this. But that's want I want to if I have the possibility. This is part of my personal freedom and human right.
