The three month anniversary of my attempt was 2 days ago

[Cloud Busting]

Time like, flies man.

 

[notahappygirl]

What was your method ?

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Someone needs to clip its wings.

It's already December of 2023 and I'm feeling terrified I'll end up carrying it out. Whatever date you imagine in the future, time will eventually get to that point.

 

[Cloud Busting]

What was your method ?

Drop hanging

Fell to ground and chickened out. I was in public and it was getting light out

 

[penguinl0v3s]

I kinda lol'd cuz it's such a random day to celebrate an anniversary "3 months 2 days ago"

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Someone needs to clip its wings.

It's already December of 2023 and I'm feeling terrified I'll end up carrying it out. Whatever date you imagine in the future, time will eventually get to that point.

Ah, it should be NOT carrying it out. That's what I am afraid of.

 

[Cloud Busting]

I kinda lol'd cuz it's such a random day to celebrate an anniversary "3 months 2 days ago"

Lmfao right

It's been 1/4 of a year since I attempted and while I'm not fully recovered I'm doing so much better. I still have dark days and they suck but as Camus said, "the struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man's heart."

It's a weird thing to celebrate but that I haven't attempted or made a plan/gathered means since then is actually a huge deal, but it's not like I can announce this publicly to friends or on social media lol

Thank god for SaSu

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Lmfao right

It's been 1/4 of a year since I attempted and while I'm not fully recovered I'm doing so much better. I still have dark days and they suck but as Camus said, "the struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man's heart."

It's a weird thing to celebrate but that I haven't attempted or made a plan/gathered means since then is actually a huge deal, but it's not like I can announce this publicly to friends or on social media lol

Thank god for SaSu

Is it that odd though? It marked a watershed moment in how you approach your life. Seems way more significant than any birthday or whatever.

 

[Cloud Busting]

Is it that odd though? It marked a watershed moment in how you approach your life. Seems way more significant than any birthday or whatever.

True, but if I shared this to my friends and social media they'd probably find it strange to celebrate.

again it's nice to have a corner of the internet that actually gets it

 

[LaVieEnRose]

True, but if I shared this to my friends and social media they'd probably find it strange to celebrate.

again it's nice to have a corner of the internet that actually gets it

They probably found it strange to want to die in the first place. You're past the point of no return now. No more self-judgment

 

[Cloud Busting]

They probably found it strange to want to die in the first place. You're past the point of no return now. No more self-judgment

People don't realize how much of an effort it takes to attempt to recover and surpass your suicidal urges.

"why try not to? Just like, don't do that."

People mean well but if they haven't been there themselves they don't get it.

I'm really proud of myself. Usually I'm angry at myself when I let shit get that bad but it happens lol

 

[trytrytryagain]

People don't realize how much of an effort it takes to attempt to recover and surpass your suicidal urges.

"why try not to? Just like, don't do that."

People mean well but if they haven't been there themselves they don't get it.

I'm really proud of myself. Usually I'm angry at myself when I let shit get that bad but it happens lol

I'm proud of you for trying to recover, even if just as a stranger on here. I have certain parts of the site blocked too to help me focus on recovery but I've only been here for 2 days and I already feel like I relate and feel so much less judgement than ever before on these topics.

Usually I talk about this stuff and even if I have no plan people tend to jump right into getting ambulances and emergency services involved, I just wanna talk to people about my feelings and find actually useful ways to recover since we all share similar experiences despite having such different lives.

 

[Cloud Busting]

I'm proud of you for trying to recover, even if just as a stranger on here.

Thanks. I'm proud of you for trying as well.

What people don't understand is how much effort it takes to recover. They don't fathom you have to try. They expect you to just do it, like it's that easy.

I have certain parts of the site blocked too to help me focus on recovery…

Thats a great idea!

I don't post as much in the suicide subforum these days (aside from the depression support megathread.) I no longer read goodbye threads or anything pertaining to methods. It's too triggering for me. I am glad people have a safe space to share these things though.

Usually I talk about this stuff and even if I have no plan people tend to jump right into getting ambulances and emergency services involved…

I wish people would de-stigmatize suicide because maybe those who haven't been in that headspace wouldn't be as quick to overreact and would actually offer support instead of a band-aid solution. Unfortunately, de-stigmatizing suicide is usually confused for glamorizing it.

I just wanna talk to people about my feelings and find actually useful ways to recover since we all share similar experiences despite having such different lives.

There are always assholes of course, but I think most people mean well. They just want to put in as minimum of effort as possible because digging deeper to get to the root will only serve to bring them down. I don't blame them really. I wouldn't wish depression on anyone.

The reason I still post on SaSu despite no longer being actively suicidal is it's one of the few spaces I've found where I don't have to provide a sanitized version of recovery. I can be real about how much recovery sucks lmfao

 

[LaVieEnRose]

People don't realize how much of an effort it takes to attempt to recover and surpass your suicidal urges.

"why try not to? Just like, don't do that."

People mean well but if they haven't been there themselves they don't get it.

I'm really proud of myself. Usually I'm angry at myself when I let shit get that bad but it happens lol