Cauliflour
The masochist who doodles.
- Mar 24, 2025
- 374
Google "Self Harm" right now and pay attention to the search results. Most, if not all, of the websites listed are those same-y PSA websites that mostly go on about self harm in teenagers and I think the easiest way is just to show the Google Images search results:
See what I mean? These all feel like they're made for parents of teenagers talking about a dangerous phase and that if you go up to them and say "hey stop cutting yourself" they'll grow out of it. It's a factor sure, but it doesn't show the full picture and it's starting to tire me as someone who is a self harmer. There's no nuance, it's all treated like "teenagers doing stupid teenager things". Compare this to somewhere like r/selfharm_memes or r/madeofstyrofoam which paints a much richer picture. A less sterilised one, even though those 2 subreddits are age restricted. I think a lot of people here can agree that the addiction mostly starts in teenagehood so why give the people who arguably need the full picture the most, the clean sterile version that just goes "cutting bad don't do it". Like surely you would want to go all out on the details and horrify them so much they're too scared to attempt it? I suppose you could extend this to mental health in general: teenage mental health is not taken seriously at all and also has that clean sterile aesthetic to it.
Not to mention, self harm is much broader than people think. Like if you noticed in the screenshot, I searched up "self harming for fun" and none of these are about that, just the most general self harm PSAs you can imagine. Here's one of the top websites for example:
I like the use of the word "typically" as it shows some kind of nuance. Shame the article doesn't show that (apart from this at the top):
The article is fine: it's not harmful, just painfully generic. I wouldn't mind it's simplicity if it wasn't for every other god damn webpage on this subject being just as simple and surface level too.
Anyway let's look at the strategies section:
1. I wonder how many people actually do this. Whenever people find out, they just get angry at me and do things like snitch on me and drag me into my old school's nurse's office. Literally I think the only person I actually willingly told that I know IRL was an alcoholic with bipolar disorder (the conversation was in that sort of direction already) and they were like "nah don't do that just get tattoos instead" and why was it that the person who had a list of special needs at the school we were in at the time the most respectable about it?
2. This isn't gonna do shit. I don't feel overwhelmed much. I don't feel strong emotions in general much. It's more annoyance really that I grow over time if I don't cut, typically about a week afterwards I start to get irritated and can't focus properly, especially at night, until I cut again. Mostly based on the appearance of the cuts and how far they've healed. All this is gonna do is make me annoyed that I'm not using that time to cut.
3. Well there used to be more to me than self harm but when you've been doing it for this long, it sorta morphs into you as part of your overall identity. Hell it's why I bring it up so much on here. Also those questions are useless to me because I'm incredibly out of touch with my feelings (good ol autism). In fact, different forms of self harm is the easiest thing for me to pin point emotions too, at least with positive ones. Fun fact, up to half of autistic people self harm.
4. Alright. Step 1: my lower right arm, because that's where I mostly cut and also the scars on there need more density to look more pleasing. It's doing that slight tingle thing through to my fingers, probably because I fucked up a nerve. Step 2: I want to cause bodily harm to my non dominant arm. That is a valid feeling. It's valid to want to fuck up my arm because I am worthy of possessing such beautiful scars because It's been 191 days and I haven't crashed out yet and gone to a mental hospital. I've accepted that wanting to rip open my veins is okay, but I accepted that like 2 years ago so...Step 3: well I'm currently waiting for the paracetemol to kick in to get rid of these damn period cramps so I don't think this is a fair test. Step 4: I am sending kindness to myself. I am good at making scars. I did a good job last time. I am perfectly okay for finding enjoyment in doing this. I am perfectly okay for much preferring this over masturbation like normal people.
Yeah, I don't think that works on me. That's the thing with a lot of these PSAs nowadays. They've figured out it's broad and so acknowledge it, but they don't properly adjust their thinking to match, so it just comes off as irritating to people like me who are freaks for liking this. Also, if 1 in 5 young people self harm then why does media almost never write it into plots, especially if they're trying to be "progressive" or whatever. Like, it's visual storytelling, why isn't it used more? Literally all the examples I can think of come from indie games who are mostly people like me, which is probably for the 13 year old girls in their edgy phase to go "woah they're so psychotic! cooooool" like Emily from Class of 09 is one that comes to mind. I went and typed into Google "why do people self harm "for fun"" and from the few articles (ie reddit posts) that I could find, were more like why people day drink: got nothing better to do. I do have things to fill in time, probably too many things so that doesn't fit either. It is annoying how even after doing the quotation mark thing I still had to go digging.
There's not really a point to this post, it's just that it's almost midnight and this was pissing me off while I was trying to convince myself not to cut tonight because I can take a long time doing it (perfectionism) and I have to wake up early tomorrow (but to be honest I really just substituted that time for writing this post so ehhh...). Does make me wonder where it came from as I didn't start off self harming for fun, it just developed over time to the point where I would laugh if a hot woman was peeling my skin alive if I asked them to. Never gotten into a situation close to that but I do daydream about it a lot like that's not BDSM anymore that's straight up insanity. I wonder how I sound to a normal person when I'm going off like this cause I don't bat an eye, it's normal to me but any sane person would...probably think I just never got out of my edgy phase actually and that I don't mean any of it (even though I very much do).
See what I mean? These all feel like they're made for parents of teenagers talking about a dangerous phase and that if you go up to them and say "hey stop cutting yourself" they'll grow out of it. It's a factor sure, but it doesn't show the full picture and it's starting to tire me as someone who is a self harmer. There's no nuance, it's all treated like "teenagers doing stupid teenager things". Compare this to somewhere like r/selfharm_memes or r/madeofstyrofoam which paints a much richer picture. A less sterilised one, even though those 2 subreddits are age restricted. I think a lot of people here can agree that the addiction mostly starts in teenagehood so why give the people who arguably need the full picture the most, the clean sterile version that just goes "cutting bad don't do it". Like surely you would want to go all out on the details and horrify them so much they're too scared to attempt it? I suppose you could extend this to mental health in general: teenage mental health is not taken seriously at all and also has that clean sterile aesthetic to it.
Not to mention, self harm is much broader than people think. Like if you noticed in the screenshot, I searched up "self harming for fun" and none of these are about that, just the most general self harm PSAs you can imagine. Here's one of the top websites for example:
I like the use of the word "typically" as it shows some kind of nuance. Shame the article doesn't show that (apart from this at the top):
The article is fine: it's not harmful, just painfully generic. I wouldn't mind it's simplicity if it wasn't for every other god damn webpage on this subject being just as simple and surface level too.
Anyway let's look at the strategies section:
1. I wonder how many people actually do this. Whenever people find out, they just get angry at me and do things like snitch on me and drag me into my old school's nurse's office. Literally I think the only person I actually willingly told that I know IRL was an alcoholic with bipolar disorder (the conversation was in that sort of direction already) and they were like "nah don't do that just get tattoos instead" and why was it that the person who had a list of special needs at the school we were in at the time the most respectable about it?
2. This isn't gonna do shit. I don't feel overwhelmed much. I don't feel strong emotions in general much. It's more annoyance really that I grow over time if I don't cut, typically about a week afterwards I start to get irritated and can't focus properly, especially at night, until I cut again. Mostly based on the appearance of the cuts and how far they've healed. All this is gonna do is make me annoyed that I'm not using that time to cut.
3. Well there used to be more to me than self harm but when you've been doing it for this long, it sorta morphs into you as part of your overall identity. Hell it's why I bring it up so much on here. Also those questions are useless to me because I'm incredibly out of touch with my feelings (good ol autism). In fact, different forms of self harm is the easiest thing for me to pin point emotions too, at least with positive ones. Fun fact, up to half of autistic people self harm.
4. Alright. Step 1: my lower right arm, because that's where I mostly cut and also the scars on there need more density to look more pleasing. It's doing that slight tingle thing through to my fingers, probably because I fucked up a nerve. Step 2: I want to cause bodily harm to my non dominant arm. That is a valid feeling. It's valid to want to fuck up my arm because I am worthy of possessing such beautiful scars because It's been 191 days and I haven't crashed out yet and gone to a mental hospital. I've accepted that wanting to rip open my veins is okay, but I accepted that like 2 years ago so...Step 3: well I'm currently waiting for the paracetemol to kick in to get rid of these damn period cramps so I don't think this is a fair test. Step 4: I am sending kindness to myself. I am good at making scars. I did a good job last time. I am perfectly okay for finding enjoyment in doing this. I am perfectly okay for much preferring this over masturbation like normal people.
Yeah, I don't think that works on me. That's the thing with a lot of these PSAs nowadays. They've figured out it's broad and so acknowledge it, but they don't properly adjust their thinking to match, so it just comes off as irritating to people like me who are freaks for liking this. Also, if 1 in 5 young people self harm then why does media almost never write it into plots, especially if they're trying to be "progressive" or whatever. Like, it's visual storytelling, why isn't it used more? Literally all the examples I can think of come from indie games who are mostly people like me, which is probably for the 13 year old girls in their edgy phase to go "woah they're so psychotic! cooooool" like Emily from Class of 09 is one that comes to mind. I went and typed into Google "why do people self harm "for fun"" and from the few articles (ie reddit posts) that I could find, were more like why people day drink: got nothing better to do. I do have things to fill in time, probably too many things so that doesn't fit either. It is annoying how even after doing the quotation mark thing I still had to go digging.
There's not really a point to this post, it's just that it's almost midnight and this was pissing me off while I was trying to convince myself not to cut tonight because I can take a long time doing it (perfectionism) and I have to wake up early tomorrow (but to be honest I really just substituted that time for writing this post so ehhh...). Does make me wonder where it came from as I didn't start off self harming for fun, it just developed over time to the point where I would laugh if a hot woman was peeling my skin alive if I asked them to. Never gotten into a situation close to that but I do daydream about it a lot like that's not BDSM anymore that's straight up insanity. I wonder how I sound to a normal person when I'm going off like this cause I don't bat an eye, it's normal to me but any sane person would...probably think I just never got out of my edgy phase actually and that I don't mean any of it (even though I very much do).
