The river in my city is in flood. I'm considering going in tonight but I am scared.

[illAF]

I hope Google translated that right "La rivière est en crue" in french.

This was never an idea of mine to die by drowning, actually I am very scared of drowning because of the suffocation.

BUT I don't know, I feel like it is calling me tonight (may sounds weird, it does to me, I'm not a believer at all or anything like that but i don't know, I feel like that tonight...).

And I'm thinking that maybe with the high water flow, by jumping from a bridge, I could have my chance not to suffer too much ? What do you think ?

But I'm writing this and something tells me I won't be even able to get out of my bed....

I don't know, I've been wanting to die for so long know, not finding my method... This thing with the river just next to me being so dangerous for the night, it's appealing, you know ?

I feel like it's a beautiful rainy night to die....

 

[Heading to Darkness]

I;m with you Im less than 48 hours away and although i decided a while ago, the reality is hitting home. My poison is prepared in the fridge i checked out the place i will enter the water yesterday, it's beautiful and as you say i can feel it calling out to me
Whatever you decide i wish you well, I'm with you.

 

[cyandude]

Yes, it did translate correctly. I really admire the way you describe this experience, this feeling of calling. It's truly beautiful in a way.
I hope you're able to find your peace in as painless and tranquil a manner as possible.
Best wishes! <3

 

[lebrodude]

Yeah I get you, there is a major river near me and I have gone there, not with the intention of ctb at that moment, more to take in if I could do it or not.

And at the moment I'm still not sure. Drowning will be swift if you prepare, however it's still not going to be fun, put it that way.

 

[Heading to Darkness]

sitting at the edge of the ocean just listening to the roll of the waves.is a form of meditation, the softer sounds open your mind and in my case the screams inside me hear nothing but a gentle calling, welcoming sound that i can't resist

 

[illAF]

Yes, it did translate correctly. I really admire the way you describe this experience, this feeling of calling. It's truly beautiful in a way.
I hope you're able to find your peace in as painless and tranquil a manner as possible.
Best wishes! <3

Thank you <3
I just could'nt go...

I am crying right now, cause I really want to be gone by the end of the year (before my birthday which is on the 15th of December would even be better), but I just can't. I really really wanna die but I'm just too scared. I tried several times to hang myself but I just couldn't do it. Suffocation is my worst nightmare. And right now, I feel so bad I feel I can't even try to purchase things online to try other methods.
I am just desesperate.

But that just sound paradoxal. As desesperate as I am, I should be able to do anything to end this nightmare, should'nt I ?

Does not make any sense.

I want my peaceful way out but I can't seem to find it.