I don't know about being "energy draining" as a burden but certainly the act of trying to help someone with non bs answer and feelings takes a lot. At one point when I was doing really well in life, I used to go to R/SuicideWatch and R/Depression, (yeah IK, make fun of me now), and I used to try and help people and not just the same "oh wow dude that sucks get better", "maybe try changing your mindset". Or just bs. I would sit for a few hours and type out like essay length responses and try to describe what happened to me in my life. I just wanted to let them know that at the very least they weren't alone. Seeing all the strict pro-life bs was unfortunate but I tried to stay away from that kind of thinking. A super open "Pro-Choice" mindset wasn't taken too kindly either by the mods. But, my only goal was perhaps to share some of my experience and relate to them, maybe give some guidance, maybe just let them know they're not alone. I only wanted to help other people who weren't doing so well. But spending so much time on posts takes a lot of energy for me, especially having to relive my past over and over to put it into words. And by the time I refreshed the pages there were always hundreds of others. I just couldn't sustain the level of dedication and time efficiency needed to try and help so many people and it made me cry a lot to think of how many people were hurting one way or another. The stories I read and things I heard gave me depression myself. So anyone that needs help and actual non-bs communication themselves is not an "energy drainer". It's just that being real with people, trying to relate your own experiences, give meaningful answers and really make a relationship with others is "draining" for people. It's not a good thing or a bad thing, it's just how it is. Sitting down and really hearing someone out and saying "fuck I'm actually gonna try to help this person". Is a massive commitment and it takes effort and energy, not many people will go out of their way to do that. So yeah most people will turn away or change topics if you bring up stuff like cutting, self harm, depression, suicide. If it's not the easy pro life bs, "oh I'm so sorry, I hope it gets better" | or "try to change your attitude", most people would rather not take on someone else's struggles and try to help them. Lots of people don't want to know the truth, they don't want to see how bad things can get, they don't want to know how the person they go to work with each day with a great attitude, good grades, and a constant smile, cries alone each night wishing for death as they cut themselves over and over. And as for most humans, psychological speaking, what gain is there? You spend time helping others and trying to empathize and struggle with them, try to get into their mindset, it can create enormous sadness and pain, even depression. So you are able to relate to them on a personal non bs level. Maybe they get comfort, guidance, maybe it helps, maybe not. And what happens? You're left with their thoughts, memories, stories of their abuse that they've never told another soul. You're now taking on their struggles and adding it to your own memories of terrible things. But yeah like you said, how many people do you think are going to willingly wake up each day and willingly say (not literally of course), "Today, I'm going to be selfless and find someone who needs help and pour my time and energy into trying to help them for absolutely nothing in return". Of course those types are here, but a lot of people here are shy as well or even just naturally introverted. And not many people come here to say what I just said, "Hey I'm gonna find people to help" etc. People that are here often aren't here to make friends either, so people won't go out of their way to just randomly message people and make friends, and that isn't a bad thing, it's just how it is. Like I'm not here to try to find friends, if I do cool, but I came here because I was and still mostly am in a really bad place mentally and I was looking for options for if/when I needed it. Most people are seeking help, comfort, guidance, death, peace. There are so many people that are worn out and just done, with nothing else to give. The other thing to consider is that some people don't want to be your friend, not because of you or anything about you, but because it makes leaving that much harder for people, nobody wants to think of the people they'll leave behind and how much it would hurt them by leaving, so people stay distant on purpose. The other thing is that sometimes someone's situation is so fked and messed up, what is there to say? No amount of guidance, advice, comfort, meds, etc will fix their situation. Sometimes people just need to vent and know that they're seen by others. But at the end of the day sometimes nothing can help. But hey, if you ever wanna chat or something, I'm still breathing. I love talking about philosophy and different entertainment mediums, or if you just wanna talk about life, death, you, others, or anything. And I'm sure many others would be open to being friends with you. But yeah that's just my take on it all, idk if I derailed too hard or offended anyone, I really hope not. Wishing you the best though whatever your situation may be.
