The realization that I can't help people.

[Heart Shards]

I've been lurking on SS for about three years. Before, I thought I was the only one that suffered. But this site has opened my eyes. People on here have terrible life situations, or debilitating physical or mental impairments, and there's nothing I can do, and it rips at my insides. There is nothing I could do or say to change someone's suffering. It's not right, and it's not fair (when is life?) I lose sleep because of my failure to help people. Sometimes, when I reply on here, I feel I do more harm than good. So, I wanted to say sorry. Truly, I wish I could do more. Sorry--Willow.

 

[Lilacmoon]

i feel the same. there's one person in particular I wish I could reach through the screen to save from all of her pain.
but i can never do that.
this powerlessness is maddening.
im sorry i dont have any advice to help ease this feeling. i havent figured it out either.

 

[SadGuyWannaDie]

I wish I had any words that made being unable to help people any easier but I can't find the words to console myself about that either I still check a few certain people on here to see when they last logged online even though I know they never will. Reading your post did make me feel at least like I'm not the only one who cant sleep over it.

 

[Heart Shards]

i feel the same. there's one person in particular I wish I could reach through the screen to save from all of her pain.
but i can never do that.
this powerlessness is maddening.
im sorry i dont have any advice to help ease this feeling. i havent figured it out either.

The only viable solution I have is listen to people. It just makes me melancholy. I don't want anyone to be sad, to feel the way I do. If I was the only to suffer, I would carry everyone else's weight without hesitation. That's the dreary thing, burdens aren't transferable.

 

[Lilacmoon]

If only I could take their pain onto me. They're all better persons than I am. I, an empty useless void, it doesn't matter how much pain I'm in.
If only burdens were transferable :(

 

[Heart Shards]

If only I could take their pain onto me. They're all better persons than I am. I, an empty useless void, it doesn't matter how much pain I'm in.
If only burdens were transferable :(

You mean more to me than a useless void. You're my sister, a member of the SS clan who brightens my dark days. Besides you guys, I have no one. The world's cruel, and I want no part of it.

 

[SadGuyWannaDie]

If only I could take their pain onto me. They're all better persons than I am. I, an empty useless void, it doesn't matter how much pain I'm in.
If only burdens were transferable

I really felt that.

 

[RedRed]

If only I could take their pain onto me. They're all better persons than I am. I, an empty useless void, it doesn't matter how much pain I'm in.
If only burdens were transferable :(

This is just so sweet and pure. But you know, some people here also feel the same way as you and some ppl also want to do the same for you :'))
If possible I also want to take some of your pain onto me, even though we're strangers. I think I can still take some.

 

[Lilacmoon]

You mean more to me than a useless void. You're my sister, a member of the SS clan who brightens my dark days. Besides you guys, I have no one. The world's cruel, and I want no part of it.

By making the thread you helped me a little by allowing me to express my stuff a little.
so it that helps ease your pain a little to know, then know it.

 

[Heart Shards]

By making the thread you helped me a little by allowing me to express my stuff a little.
so it that helps ease your pain a little to know, then know it.

It helps to know everyone feels the same. I was stressing that people were going to tell me I was being over dramatic.

 

[Panna]

I've been lurking on SS for about three years. Before, I thought I was the only one that suffered. But this site has opened my eyes. People on here have terrible life situations, or debilitating physical or mental impairments, and there's nothing I can do, and it rips at my insides. There is nothing I could do or say to change someone's suffering. It's not right, and it's not fair (when is life?) I lose sleep because of my failure to help people. Sometimes, when I reply on here, I feel I do more harm than good. So, I wanted to say sorry. Truly, I wish I could do more. Sorry--Willow.

You have to remember that simply being there, giving words of comfort or kindness is more than some of the people here will ever get from their real life families. Just by doing that, you're doing your part. I wish that you didn't feel like you're failing to help people because it's the thought and the will that counts.I'd love to have that drive, but I just lack it, so seeing people like you or rosey going about trying their best to continuously help people with their words helps to motivate others like me to try and do our part. You're appreciated.

 

[inhabitinglots]

Im new here but I completely understand how you feel. Even if it isn't exactly your fault it still hurts. Even if i don't know you that well this thread made me feel better because i feel the same.

 

[RedRed]

It helps to know everyone feels the same. I was stressing that people were going to tell me I was being over dramatic.

Don't worry I also feel the same way. Sometimes I feel like...I might be faking my sadness. I can't even express it into words. I'm glad u did ^^

 

[MrBlue]

I was literally going to make a thread about how I didn't know if I was supporting people on here as well as I feel I'm being supported and listened to, and whether I should be more active in trying. I tend to be very passive because I don't want to step on toes or my comments to seem redundent, but I also realise that can seem like I'm giving empty support when I do because I'm giving them the responsiblity to reach out to me, and not vice versa.

I guess if alot of us feel powerless when dealing with our own lives, it's not unreasonable to assume we're more likely to feel it elsewhere. :/

 

[Panna]

Don't worry I also feel the same way. Sometimes I feel like...I might be faking my sadness. I can't even express it into words. I'm glad u did ^^

Plenty of people share that same worry, that whats causing their sadness is overhyped or dramaticized. I can name a few, like lack of a love life, or loss of work hell mine's one of the lower ones on the totem pole here on the site, and yet it's enough to mess with my life. What i'm trying to say is, if it's enough to cause you distress then it matter's. apologies if that all came across as completely obvious words of fluff. Plenty of times I just sit back and look at everyone else's reasons for being here and think do I have a right to complain, and your post just hit me.

 

[Heart Shards]

Plenty of people share that same worry, that whats causing their sadness is overhyped or dramaticized. I can name a few, like lack of a love life, or loss of work hell mine's one of the lower ones on the totem pole here on the site, and yet it's enough to mess with my life. What i'm trying to say is, if it's enough to cause you distress then it matter's. apologies if that all came across as completely obvious words of fluff. Plenty of times I just sit back and look at everyone else's reasons for being here and think do I have a right to complain, and your post just hit me.

I agree. Feelings are valid; don't let anyone rob you of them.

 

[RedRed]

Plenty of people share that same worry, that whats causing their sadness is overhyped or dramaticized. I can name a few, like lack of a love life, or loss of work hell mine's one of the lower ones on the totem pole here on the site, and yet it's enough to mess with my life. What i'm trying to say is, if it's enough to cause you distress then it matter's. apologies if that all came across as completely obvious words of fluff. Plenty of times I just sit back and look at everyone else's reasons for being here and think do I have a right to complain, and your post just hit me.

This really made me calm. I guess I'm terrified??? My professor told me that I might have been influenced by "depressed" ppl via media. It kinda hurt me and scared me at the same time. I could never look at my prof the same way again. What he said made me question all my sadness. I just hated it.

 

[Heart Shards]

This really made me calm. I guess I'm terrified??? My professor told me that I might have been influenced by "depressed" ppl via media. It kinda hurt me and scared me at the same time. I could never look at my prof the same way again. What he said made me question all my sadness. I just hated it.

You don't have to prove or validate anything here; Suffering is suffering. You wouldn't be on here unless you are dealing with heavy shit. "Regular" people are on FB, Twitter, Instagram and the like.

 

[Panna]

This really made me calm. I guess I'm terrified??? My professor told me that I might have been influenced by "depressed" ppl via media. It kinda hurt me and scared me at the same time. I could never look at my prof the same way again. What he said made me question all my sadness. I just hated it.

I'm sorry that happened to you, he should have taken your thoughts more into consideration, as I said if it's valid to you, then that's what matters, it's not a case of simply letting someone influence how you think you should feel. I tried that with my professor, and I had two policeman and two campus security waiting for me, she told them that I wanted to shoot myself and my classmates, when all I said to her was that I felt alone there and that I could sympathize with people who take their lives when they feel alone.

 

[degeneratewaste]

wow, I really do understand this post, it's almost like it was written by me. every day I see people struggle, and I try so hard to help, as much as I can. I get upset over the fact that I can't help them and expel their pains, I just feel so fucking useless, and helpless. I always try my best to help, and I always will, even if it hurts me. if I could bear everyones' burdens and take away their pains, I would in an instant.

 

[Lilacmoon]

This really made me calm. I guess I'm terrified??? My professor told me that I might have been influenced by "depressed" ppl via media. It kinda hurt me and scared me at the same time. I could never look at my prof the same way again. What he said made me question all my sadness. I just hated it.

sounds like you're being gaslit and invalidated by your professor. :| im sorry you have to deal with that, that's not helpful at all.

 

[RedRed]

You don't have to prove or validate anything here; Suffering is suffering. You wouldn't be on here unless you are dealing with heavy shit. "Regular" people are on FB, Twitter, Instagram and the like.

I really appreciate this. You're right I don't have to validate anything. This really made me happy :'))

 

[Silvermorning]

Sometimes when it touches me too much the content of a thread i can't find the strenght to answer it and just make reactions (emoticons)
How pretty pathetic is that.

In the end, life finds a way, if it's meant to be. All we can do is support the other's journey while we are here.

 

[RedRed]

I'm sorry that happened to you, he should have taken your thoughts more into consideration, as I said if it's valid to you, then that's what matters, it's not a case of simply letting someone influence how you think you should feel. I tried that with my professor, and I had two policeman and two campus security waiting for me, she told them that I wanted to shoot myself and my classmates, when all I said to her was that I felt alone there and that I could sympathize with people who take their lives when they feel alone.

God that must've felt horrible. I kinda learned that most professors aren't that empathetic. Thanks so much for this <3

 

[Heart Shards]

Sometimes when it touches me too much the content of a thread i can't find the strenght to answer it and just make reactions (emoticons)
How pretty pathetic is that.

In the end, life finds a way, if it's meant to be. All we can do is support the other's journey while we are here.

It's all good, Sis. You're more useful here than you think. You gave me the title Poet of the Abyss. How bad ass is that?

 

[Panna]

I was literally going to make a thread about how I didn't know if I was supporting people on here as well as I feel I'm being supported and listened to, and whether I should be more active in trying. I tend to be very passive because I don't want to step on toes or my comments to seem redundent, but I also realise that can seem like I'm giving empty support when I do because I'm giving them the responsiblity to reach out to me, and not vice versa.

I guess if alot of us feel powerless when dealing with our own lives, it's not unreasonable to assume we're more likely to feel it elsewhere. :/

Empty words and being redundant, exactly! thats what I was going for, it's so hard to bypass those things with our well meaning intentions towards the other people, because in the end we're not just reaching out for attention or glory points but to try and simply make their day, or make them a bit more happy. At least thats how I see it.

 

[RedRed]

sounds like you're being gaslit and invalidated by your professor. :| im sorry you have to deal with that, that's not helpful at all.

It didn't and his words stayed with me like a shadow ever since. He must've known what he was doing since he's a psych prof. He's just plain cruel. Thanks for the comfort fam. This really helps me

 

[Ghost2211]

I know we can't fix things for people, but sometimes just making them feel less alone or making them laugh can make a massive difference. The main reason I stayed and kept posting was when I first came here I was so distressed and alone, and a ton of people that didn't even know me came and gave kind words and hugs. It helped a lot, and I realized I could give that to others too. Caring about one another gives all of us something we are so desperately lacking in real life. I hope all of you know how special and important you are to every person's life that you touch here.

 

[Heart Shards]

I know we can't fix things for people, but sometimes just making them feel less alone or making them laugh can make a massive difference. The main reason I stayed and kept posting was when I first came here I was so distressed and alone, and a ton of people that didn't even know me came and gave kind words and hugs. It helped a lot, and I realized I could give that to others too. Caring about one another gives all of us something we are so desperately lacking in real life. I hope all of you know how special and important you are to every person's life that you touch here.

You're special too, Roseybird. And dont forget it!

 

[Panna]

I hope all of you know how special and important you are to every person's life that you touch here.

I wouldn't say that I'm special perse, but I do like to try and help if I can, though you rosey, flattery aside your posts always stand out as words of comfort. Honestly you are such a big role model here on the site.