Venting The pain of being obsessive

[Daxter_87]

The term "obssesive" does not even convey it; it goes beyond that. It's basically all day long, from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. OCD can make you doubt anything: what you are, what you know, what you don't know, what you remember, what you believe in... The list truly goes on and on. OCD can even make you doubt whether you have said disorder or not (meta OCD). It's really painful to have this stupid brain, it makes me suffer like no other part of the body.

And it doesn't help either that all that "normal" people can say is: "You just have to find an occupation (be a slave)". Well, guess what, you ignorant, invalidating fuckers, I am like this regardless of whether I'm busy or not. If anything, stress makes it worse; I was already like this (if not worse) when I was in highschool. But, of course, as many of you probably know from experience, there's no point in opening up to people about anything, as they usually just make it worse.

Anyhow, the truth is that I'm fucked up (one way or another) until I finally die. It is indeed true that death is the only liberation, since there's no true or permanent relief from suffering as long as we are alive. Or do I really believe that? Ha ha ha ha ha... Crazy tortuous fucking mind...

 

[locked*n*loaded]

This has to be hell on you. You have all my sympathy, as I don't know what that condition feels like. It's difficult to imagine how torturous life is for you. I hope you can get to your peace no matter how you have to get there.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be really horrible and tiring what you go through, I also see death as being the only true relief from suffering as there certainly is too much suffering in existing.

 

[soonatpeace777888]

Im 31 and have been dealing with OCD and Intrusive thoughts for years. OCD lends itself easily to PTSD and thats what happened to me also. Just doesn't make life worth living to have the back of your mind reminding you about shit YOU KNOW shouldn't matter. Over and over. Wrong me once and you wronged me 100,000 times because of my mind.

 

[josephk]

Im 31 and have been dealing with OCD and Intrusive thoughts for years. OCD lends itself easily to PTSD and thats what happened to me also. Just doesn't make life worth living to have the back of your mind reminding you about shit YOU KNOW shouldn't matter. Over and over. Wrong me once and you wronged me 100,000 times because of my mind.

youve just described my situation perfectly. I've reached the point where I'm ready to go now. I've had enough. I just don't have the balls at the moment