Venting The nail in the coffin of my anhedonia

[MeltingHeart]

Trying to listen to music - the main thing that has ever and always given me joy in life, provided me with solace, consoled me, lifted me, cheered me up, made me excited by life, a huge connector to all me and my friends, something that I got excited about and elevated my life above mere existence, imbued me with an identity - one that I loved, made me smile and want to dance- would ALWAYS have it on no matter what i was doing, a pure pleasure-that didnt require to much cost, ALL my heroes & icons are musicians. I can barely enjoy it any more-it just enhances my despair ( but not in that weird good way-that music sometimes can). Thats it for me, aside from movies if I cant enjoy music (which just about had the edge over movies-if i was forced at gun point to choose) if I cant take pleasure in music- for me there will be no pleasure, joy or happiness in life. that is it.

 

[Girobatol]

Trying to listen to music - the main thing that has ever and always given me joy in life, provided me with solace, consoled me, lifted me, cheered me up, made me excited by life, a huge connector to all me and my friends, something that I got excited about and elevated my life above mere existence, imbued me with an identity - one that I loved, made me smile and want to dance- would ALWAYS have it on no matter what i was doing, a pure pleasure-that didnt require to much cost, ALL my heroes & icons are musicians. I can barely enjoy it any more-it just enhances my despair ( but not in that weird good way-that music sometimes can). Thats it for me, aside from movies if I cant enjoy music (which just about had the edge over movies-if i was forced at gun point to choose) if u cant take pleasure in music- for me their will be no pleasure, joy or happiness in life. that is it.

I feel just like that, but the reason I don´t listen or enjoy music anymore is because psych meds, antipsychotics and mood stabilizers.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I hear you 5 years ago I could listen to chillstep music sometimes for 1½ hours just listening and breathing almost like meditation I would be so relaxed now I don´t feel anything some days music is even uncomfortable to me.

 

[MeltingHeart]

I feel just like that, but the reason I don´t listen or enjoy music anymore is because psych meds, antipsychotics and mood stabilizers.

Is tht cos u don't enjoy it on the meds?

I hear you 5 years ago I could listen to chillstep music sometimes for 1½ hours just listening and breathing almost like meditation I would be so relaxed now I don´t feel anything some days music is even uncomfortable to me.

I have no idea what chill step is ha ! I'm prob out of touch

 

[Girobatol]

Yes, out of meds I will listen all day.

 

[azucaramargo]

Yes, out of meds I will listen all day.

This was a nice thing to write.

 

[CaptainT]

It's scary when you feel "reality peeling at the edges" and stop getting pleasure from the things you used to.....music, movies, books...they've all vanished for me in the last few months since my breakdown.

 

[azucaramargo]

I hear you 5 years ago I could listen to chillstep music sometimes for 1½ hours just listening and breathing almost like meditation I would be so relaxed now I don´t feel anything some days music is even uncomfortable to me.

Uncomfortable is a good word.