Venting the more i’m struggling in life, the more isolated i become

[wastingpotential]

i hate the thought that if anything were to happen to me, people i know would be quick to jump the gun and say they had no idea i was struggling, they didn't know i was in so much pain i'd make the choice to end it all, because it would all be a gigantic lie.

i'm in a tough stage in life, and i can't imagine at any point in the future now it'll be better or even just become a little easier, any choice i make is going to be a terrible one and the thought of living through more than what i've already endured sends me right into exhaustion.

i'm always told that no matter what happens or what made me feel this way i'm always allowed to reach out and ask for help. i don't ever really ask for help but i just ask for someone to listen to me and make me feel like my existence still has some sort of impact on anybody's life, but each time i even bring up an issue i'm struggling with, i'm ignored, i'm ditched until the other person decides to return to see if i'm in a better mood, if i am they'll talk to me about other things, maybe their own problems. if i'm not better or even worse than before i'm left alone again.

even when they try to make it seem like they had to leave inconveniently or couldn't text back because they were busy, i already know it's a lie. i can tell when it is because it's happened so, so many times already and i know by heart how to tell. i wish i didn't, i wish i could be oblivious to it and believe whatever lie i'm told because maybe it would hurt less?

i'm at wit's end. i feel so miserable and my chest aches and i just wish someone would stay and listen.

 

[endless_pain]

I have experienced kind of same thing with my friend, I listened to their problems but when it was time to hear mines, excuses and pushing me back.
This is just cruel, and I cannot even put in their shoes because I would be in pain having this behaviour toward someone else in such difficulty.
Feelings are valid, nothing they say that is not true is real, they just deny their reality causing more pain.
I believe also that the truest and most loving people leave this world, because they feel they cannot stand a chance with this reality.
I am in a point in life where I see the cruelness of humanity for real

 

[FuneralCry]

The reality is that you just cannot rely on other people in this cruel world, many people are far too self centred to ever care and it's just the way that things are. So many people certainly can be so incredibly insensitive which is why I see it as being for the best not to open up to them at all about our suffering.

 

[downndone2]

I can relate to your post. I'm miserable and screwed up my life several years ago. My chest hurts with anxiety, stomach is always upset, and I really don't have anyone around.

I'm mid 40s and don't see my life changing out of this constant misery.

Feel free to pm me

 

[pharma]

I had a friend I would vent to and she straight up told me that my negativity was overwhelming her. I see where she was coming from, but at the same time it made me realize that "normal" people don't want to hear about your struggles. We're supposed to hide it and make ourselves palatable. it sucks

 

[koddeee]

Honestly, I can understand both sides. When I have had people express their feelings to me I get uncomfortable and shut down myself. I don't really know what to say to someone that is feeling extremely depressed or suicidal. I know nothing I say is going to change how they feel, but I can offer a distraction of sorts. When I'm feeling suicidal I just isolate myself so nobody else has to deal with it.

 

[Mortalist]

I had a friend I would vent to and she straight up told me that my negativity was overwhelming her. I see where she was coming from, but at the same time it made me realize that "normal" people don't want to hear about your struggles. We're supposed to hide it and make ourselves palatable. it sucks

Ahh, yes. The question of "how have you been"? Like, I know you (hypothtical person) don't give a crap. But do you really want me to answer that question honestly and in full detail?
I haven't had contact with my friend for a while now. But, not just once would we both make fun about this when we talked. We both find this just very amusing, but in a bad way.

 

[wastingpotential]

Honestly, I can understand both sides. When I have had people express their feelings to me I get uncomfortable and shut down myself. I don't really know what to say to someone that is feeling extremely depressed or suicidal. I know nothing I say is going to change how they feel, but I can offer a distraction of sorts. When I'm feeling suicidal I just isolate myself so nobody else has to deal with it.

i understand and i agree. i've been on both sides just in a different way. the people currently avoiding me are people that i've stuck through when they were struggling and even at their worst, even when i was out of energy and even frustrated at times thinking "why do i have to put up with this?", like i was going against myself; i wanted to help but i also didn't

thing is i don't even open up about half my struggles when i do get the chance, i've got huge baggage and i'm well aware, and some things i feel are just better left unsaid to avoid judgement or awkward silence. i've just been hoping lately that someone would ask me how i am and i could just say "oh not so well. things are complicated and i feel kind of alone through all of it." and say one or two things and leave it at that, just to be heard would be enough

I can relate to your post. I'm miserable and screwed up my life several years ago. My chest hurts with anxiety, stomach is always upset, and I really don't have anyone around.

I'm mid 40s and don't see my life changing out of this constant misery.

Feel free to pm me

i'm sorry to hear you're in a similar boat as me. i hope we both feel some tranquility inbetween all this pain we're in at some point

 

[Catastrofe]

I don't really know what to say to someone that is feeling extremely depressed or suicidal. I know nothing I say is going to change the way they feel

You actually can : just listen for real, open your ears and heart and listen, do not try to fix it. It may sound not enough, but it is actually the *only* real help, and the only thing thay can, maybe, make a difference. Shut up, listen and acknowledge the other person feelings.

but each time i even bring up an issue i'm struggling with, i'm ignored, i'm ditched until the other person decides to return to see if i'm in a better mood, if i am they'll talk to me about other things, maybe their own problems. if i'm not better or even worse than before i'm left alone again.

I am very sorry for what you are dealing with, it is very awful how these people are behaving with you. Do you have one person, one only, you can really trust? If so just rely on that one. If not, here you are always welcome everything you feel like saying.

 

[koddeee]

You actually can : just listen for real, open your ears and heart and listen, do not try to fix it. It may sound not enough, but it is actually the *only* real help, and the only thing thay can, maybe, make a difference. Shut up, listen and acknowledge the other person feelings.

This is my problem. I'm a 'fixer'. My logical brain is always searching for a solution to the problem. But I will take this advice to heart. Thanks.

 

[wastingpotential]

I am very sorry for what you are dealing with, it is very awful how these people are behaving with you. Do you have one person, one only, you can really trust? If so just rely on that one. If not, here you are always welcome everything you feel like saying.

i do, and i want to say i still do but unfortunately they're one of the main people i feel is avoiding me. our communication right now is via text and every time i brought up an issue i was having when asked how i'm doing, suddenly they go offline or just leave me on read, sometimes return to say something irrelevant to change the subject.

it makes my heart ache because we've known each other for years now and know everything about each other but things have just felt so distanced out of nowhere lately. and i see us still being in each other's lives in the future, i don't have the heart to hate them or even fight with them about this. i don't know what i'd do without them