Venting The mental torture is driving me crazy

[Reflection]

I just want it to stop. I'd do anything, I'd get on my knees and beg my ex to stop this pain if I could, I'd apologize one million times for things I did and didn't do again and again. But I can't, she won't hear a word. I still can't believe she left me for dead with all this pain. I endured so long but every day that passes I feel like I'm closer to the edge. If there is a God out there please have mercy. I'm just sorry about everything.

 

[terum2k]

I feel you, you are not alone in this feeling. I'm in the same position, so many regrets and so much guilt and shame. It just feels hopeless.

 

[ForeverCaHa]

You're definitely not alone in feeling this way. Not that that is any comfort at all, I know. I used to be one to preen myself each morning, fuss over the smallest details of my appearance for the day (cringe I know), but since his passing two weeks ago I can barely bring myself to bathe, I've worn the same clothes for days on end, even just brushing my teeth is a gargantuan task. I don't look in the mirror because I know that my appearance mirrors my mind right now. But losing someone you love, whether through a break-up or through death, messes with you and changes you.

Maybe I'm a hypocrite for doling out advice in this forum that I'm not even attempting to follow, but do try to be kind to yourself, and rest as much as you are able. Easier said than done, I know. It just sucks.