Painless_end
Life is too difficult for me
- Oct 11, 2019
- 794
My life has been utterly devastated because of how weak I am. I could have changed it if I could make a really big decision back when I needed to.
But I couldn't, I decided to step back. To become cowardly, to opt for "safety" over "growth". It seemed like the correct decision, but in hindsight it has ruined me.
I wish I could die, but life won't let me go so easily. I am like a prisoner of war, chained in enemy camp.
My reality is so horrible, I can't bring myself to face it, and yet I can't bring myself to end it.
Oh God, what have I done. I have ruined my own life. Every day life makes me look at my own misery.
And there is no escape. I have been trying to escape things all my life. But now there is no escape. I am utterly destroyed inside.
I wish I had never been born, but I have to accept my fate now. Because I am unable to end it.
What have I done.
But I couldn't, I decided to step back. To become cowardly, to opt for "safety" over "growth". It seemed like the correct decision, but in hindsight it has ruined me.
I wish I could die, but life won't let me go so easily. I am like a prisoner of war, chained in enemy camp.
My reality is so horrible, I can't bring myself to face it, and yet I can't bring myself to end it.
Oh God, what have I done. I have ruined my own life. Every day life makes me look at my own misery.
And there is no escape. I have been trying to escape things all my life. But now there is no escape. I am utterly destroyed inside.
I wish I had never been born, but I have to accept my fate now. Because I am unable to end it.
What have I done.