Venting the lowest and loneliest point in my life

[bear_trapped]

it's the 4th of july. while part of my family is out of town enjoying parties and fireworks, im sitting alone in my room wishing i had just one person to spend time with. i used to go to amusement parks and watch the fireworks with friends. nobody wants to be around me anymore and i don't understand why. i know it doesn't matter because i don't plan to stick around for much longer, but it still hurts nonetheless

 

[FuneralCry]

People can be cruel. Loneliness is a feeling that can send many of us into despair. Sometimes we can feel sad looking at how the past was better. It is understandable. I wish you well.

 

[bear_trapped]

i appreciate and agree with you. loneliness is a torturous hell

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

So, my friend calls me an hour ago. He ran out of gas and asked me to come for him. I reluctantly agreed although I'm at home, half-neked and stoned.
I drive him home.
There's a gathering below his apartmenent, in a small park. People brought their kids to watch a cartoon projection. Children, babies roam around like ants and I drive in the middle of it like an asshole. There's barely room for turning and the road behind is already full of people. I'm putting in reverse. I see people watching me. In my mind I can hear them saying: "He's gonna scratch it." Forward. I won't make it. I put in reverse again. Again, I hear them. Even babies are now interested in what's happening. Forward. Not going to happen. Reverse. I'm tryin to look cool but I think I look like a caged animal. Forward. Jesus please kill me now. Reverse. Forward. Reverse. Forward.
I barely make it. I creep out of there, slowly, civilized. I can only hope my casual smile don't look crazy.

And you know what, I'm glad I'm now alone in my room. Don't get me wrong, I get you. I'm like that, most of the time. But I'm just sayin. Now.

All you need is a panick attack and your need for company - gone. Through trauma to indipendence!

 

[bear_trapped]

that sounds like a very stressful ride, good on you for helping a buddy out though! i would've needed about a week alone to recover from something like that lol

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

I can relate. It's not a good feeling. Even when I am not alone I fucking hate it. I hope shit gets better for you.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I stayed in the house for July 4th I didn't feel up to going to see any family I'm just losing desire

 

[Celerity]

I feel the aching loneliness every day too. My family helps me forget for a short while sometimes. For that, I'm thankful.