N
Not a Cylon
Blah
- Jun 27, 2024
- 47
I'm not sure how close I am to wanting to CTB, it's an escape hatch fantasy right now. When I start to think of the logistics I get overwhelmed and shut down (poor executive function). Im currently handling the estate for my mother who passed unexpectedly in her 60s and left no will and it's exhausting.
I wouldn't want to burden my family with this, I've started a draft will and set up beneficiaries on all my retirement and investment accounts. I'm also realizing I would want to sell my home prior to taking the leap into the void just to make it easier on everyone. Also, CTB in my home would hurt the resale value. I'd rather my survivors get the most money from my worthless existence, it's the least I can do for them. I want to maximize the return I can get for them. I'm sure if my estate would be sued by wherever CTB and I would hate to see the funds have to pay for clean up, remediation or lost income / diminished value of someone else's place. Maybe renting a camp site and doing it in a tent is easier…
Then I worry if I did this in a hotel or Air B or apartment rental, what would that cost? I already figured I'd lay a tarp over where I'd crease to exist, wear adult diapers and make sure I have a comprehensive file with the attorney who drafts my will that contains all my bank account info and access to my email.
It's just, so, so much legwork. It's tiring to think of and I don't want to leave people with a bigger mess to clean up than the emotional one I'd be laying on their doorsteps.
Does anyone else think of these "little things" or is it just something I shouldn't give a shit about? I'm not angry at anyone, I don't want to make their lives harder. I just realized I'll never feel good again and would rather not feel anything anymore.
I wouldn't want to burden my family with this, I've started a draft will and set up beneficiaries on all my retirement and investment accounts. I'm also realizing I would want to sell my home prior to taking the leap into the void just to make it easier on everyone. Also, CTB in my home would hurt the resale value. I'd rather my survivors get the most money from my worthless existence, it's the least I can do for them. I want to maximize the return I can get for them. I'm sure if my estate would be sued by wherever CTB and I would hate to see the funds have to pay for clean up, remediation or lost income / diminished value of someone else's place. Maybe renting a camp site and doing it in a tent is easier…
Then I worry if I did this in a hotel or Air B or apartment rental, what would that cost? I already figured I'd lay a tarp over where I'd crease to exist, wear adult diapers and make sure I have a comprehensive file with the attorney who drafts my will that contains all my bank account info and access to my email.
It's just, so, so much legwork. It's tiring to think of and I don't want to leave people with a bigger mess to clean up than the emotional one I'd be laying on their doorsteps.
Does anyone else think of these "little things" or is it just something I shouldn't give a shit about? I'm not angry at anyone, I don't want to make their lives harder. I just realized I'll never feel good again and would rather not feel anything anymore.