The internet was my only best friend until I was like, 18.
All I had to shield me and give me any escape from the awful circumstances I was born into.
And it allowed me to find out, to see, who/what I really am and wanted to be.
It's only because of it that I managed to have a few good happy years after my childhood (because it even let me move countries. And in the new country, its information gathering let me actually navigate my surroundings decently).
Now though, I curse the fact that I can never replicate that magic again, and that I will likely be shut out from society going forward if I live on - because I won't be able to keep up and maintain contact with those like-minded.
Technology keeps evolving, and keeps putting up more and more barriers, and I won't be able to afford what I need to overcome those within *this* life.
And without it, well - my real life surroundings are horrific and invoke an immense pressure to ctb.
It's a no-win situation, I guess.
Plug away, and I get a little bit of joy still.
But at the same time, real life moves ahead, rolling towards me with disaster without me paying attention.
Don't use the internet anymore?
Feels like waking up from a fucking matrix pod.
Death follows shortly after.