Venting The inability to have social relationships&intimacy is crippling psychologically.

[Yasuke]

I don't even know how to express this or what it even matters in reality when I have been defeated and fated to suffer. I'm pathetic and unworthy of love or affection as a man. This is made apparent throughout my whole life always struggling to fit in and never accomplishing the milestones that normal people do. I'm a failure being 25 unemployed, a virgin, never having a kiss or held hands, hugless, lazy, no friends, still in community college, living at home, pessimistic, apathetic ,parasitic, fatalistic and asocial. It would appear like these are herculean odds to overcome with my circumstances to say the least, but yet I still of course crave to be loved and to be understood in spite of that. I don't see how I can or could change and I don't believe things will or could change. I know people wanna say you have to get your shit together before that or whatever platitudes and axioms they think works but Im just too far gone for that. That's why I'm here because I've lost and I am lost. I want to die.


As you can imagine because of this especially as a male I am routinely mocked, ignored, belittled, shamed, humiliated in every facet of my life in every way by everybody. I am broken and I fully acknowledge that in part I am suicidal is my inferiority complex and castration aniexty I have with women in particular. This is important to me as a romantic and it's apparent in which I'm not good enough for this world or anybody. Not good enough for myself either. I'm someone who shouldn't exist and perhaps doesn't deserve to exist.

It's dominating me crushing what little enjoyment I have left if while leading me towards ruin or self destruction. It's making it much easier lately for me to stop being a coward and kill myself since I've wanted to kill myself for years. Seeing others get validated sexually or rominctally while I am unable to achieve anything in life is the epitome of me being stabbed in the heart with knife over and over again. I don't particularly care about anything if I can't fufill such desires or not worthy of such, because I do value relationships even more than money. I don't want to live life to just have everything be about the fucking money and working or survival because I thought love would be enough to fill that void but I was wrong. Dead wrong. So the drudgery of toil makes me feel like I have no choice but to end my life.

I don't want to feel this way nor do I want to give the women I seek that power over me but I can't help that my urges cannot be realized. It's not that romantisication of it nor is it the idea of if being peripheral and fleeting that is the problem. It's the reality that I am destroyed, condemned and possessed by feelings of powerlessness, hopelessness and damnation because of it. I've given up on life because of that domineering feeling and I have just given in to the pain at this point.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

My favorite part is immediatly being called and incel and treated like a complete maniac who's about to pull a pro Elliot Rodgers move. Thanks society for the quadruple punishment for my crimes of existing, very cool.

 

[WornOutLife]

Oh dear, I'm so sorry you're going through this hell.

I think it's possible for you to meet new people and have good relationships with them, maybe even get in love. The thing is, you gotta find individuals who really understand the way you feel, like most people here on SS!

I've made great friends here so, why don't you start by talking to people in this community and then try something bigger such as going to OMEGLE and use tags such as "depression friends suicide" . I did that and met awesome people.

My conclusion is that, "normal people" won't work. They'll just make you feel "weirder".

 

[blue_muse]

I'm a failure being 25 unemployed, a virgin, never having a kiss or held hands, hugless, lazy, no friends, still in community college, living at home, pessimistic, apathetic ,parasitic, fatalistic and asocial.

1. You're not a failure.
2. Holding down a job is easier said than done; fake friends, unpleasant bosses, workplace bullies etc. all play a part. A dream job can be just that - a dream.
3. Make your virginity a virtue rather than a setback,
4. Affection isn't always like what you see on the internet, films and TV.
5. I hope you can settle for a virtual hug from me.
6. You're so lazy that you took the time to articulate a thread and talk on SS.
7. Community College is doing something with your life.
8. Living alone can be expensive, besides, there are people who move out then end up moving back into their parents' place.
9. You sound like more of a realist than a pessimist.
10. With Covid-19 shutting down everything, I think even normal types are developing apathy.
11. You come across quite forthright.
12. I refer to number 9.
13. Consider how psychologically crippling it is to keep up a facade that you're normal. It just makes you authentic.

 

[SweetDreams500]

Mate, that's me, except that I'm a flthy NEET

 

[TooConscious]

The evil of this flawed game we want what we cannot have. Something tells me people who 'can't' get a girlfriend aren't seeking to get to know the girls with insecurities themselves, perhaps being obese, acne, etc. I understand your self esteem can be crushed so much it appears even your own playing field don't want you but this isn't usually the case.

 

[Neowise]

Don't you like yourself because you are alone or are you alone because you don't like yourself?
Are you depressed because you are lazy or are you lazy because you are depressed?

I looked at your profile and read some of your posts, you seem to be an intelligent and kind person, but you are very disappointed and angry which is understandable. I don't see a reason why you are "unworthy" of love though. What I think is that you don't like yourself so you are withdrawing yourself from this world and from social contacts and thus, remain alone. I started doing the same, too a couple of years ago and am now gradually losing all of my friends.

25 is no bad age to be a virgin though, most of my friends around my age (I'm 25, too) have never been in a relationship either. You are not alone. If people laugh at you for it, then fuck them. Don't listen to idiots, just life your life. What you do is none of their business.

Community college sounds good! I believe once you finish it, earn money and move out into your own apartment you will start liking yourself more. Your attitude towards yourself will get better which will help you. I don't think you are alone because nobody likes you. I think you hate yourself so much that you emit this sense of self-hatred and other people perceive you as bitter, which makes you seem less likeable. Basically a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Either way, if you want to talk about it I will be gladly here for you and listen.

 

[Amumu]

Me neither I have no friends and no girlfriend but I'm used to it.
Yet it triggers suicidal thoughts indeed.
Because when you're with nice people you're less likely to think about the meaningless of life.
Moreover our primitive brains need social relationships, sexuality, love and friendship
Otherwise human beings become suicidal.