Discussion The hypocrisy of convincing another person to not CBT

[peerlesscucumber]

I've actually been in the position of having to convince other people to not CBT more than once, and I always end up feeling like shit because I know how annoying it can be to be told to not do it, plus, I always end up feeling like the biggest hypocrite in the world because I am constantly researching and planning my own attempt.
And still, I always feel obligated to try to convince them. My own beliefs tell me that the afterlife isn't bad, that if someone is desperate enough to resort to this then it's best to let them go and pray that they're reborn into a happier next life, but that little selfish gremlin inside of my head tells me that if I don't stop them then it means I'm a bad person because I'd be giving up someone that means a lot to me.

Is this actually selfish of me? Or is this just part of the human instinct?
I haven't been able to ask this to anyone else because all my friends I have had to convince and talking about such topics to my family would probably just endanger my attempt...

 

[lacrimosa]

I hold the same views. I am not here to convince anyone to CTB or anything of the sort so I am really careful how I word things. I don't want to cause any harm or influence anyone to CTB. Goodbye threads are tough to read and by then, it's too late as they are mostly posted after the actual person has CTB.

I wish I could stop people from CTBing but it's their decision and I don't want to remove their autonomy or their right to die if they are suffering and in pain that can't be treated or helped medically.

The psychiatric medications that they prescribed me have caused my diabetes and for me to gain over 50 pounds of weight due to increased appetite and lowered insulin resistance. Now, this has shortened my life-span and has caused me severe self-esteem issues regarding my body.

I don't blame the pharmaceutical industry as it was my choice and I had to take the medication, but damn, could they invent something that doesn't fuck up your body so much?

Now I have to take diabetes medication as well.

I just wish we weren't in such a world where we suffer and cause suffering because we are suffering. It's a vicious cycle, like the snake eating its own tail...

So, I don't blame you or think it's wrong of you to try and talk people away from the precipice of death. It's a valid choice and maybe, in the near future, they will invent a magic one size fits all pill that alleviates many mental health problems, or a pill that cures terminal illnesses...

 

[wCvML2]

Nothing hypocritical in trying to talk with someone to make them reconsider. Even in goodbye threads on the forum it is often asked if OP is sure of their choice. Trying to talk someone out of committing suicide is not taking away their choice, if they really want to do it they do it anyways.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think a lot of the time, it comes from a good place. It's just whether it's misguided. But, I mean- to hear someone you care about or simply just feel empathy for as another human being is so unhappy with their life, they would consider ending it is tragic. I think it's natural and kind to hope that things could actually improve for them. Unless you're a promortalist, death probably isn't your prefered outcome for everyone.

Really though, I suppose it's whether that person can turn things around. I think it's much easier to be optimistic for other people. Ultimately though, they are the ones who are going to have to put in the effort.

So then, I think it needs to be a discussion almost. Do they feel so desperate because they can no longer see the wood for the trees? Do they have any hope left in them? Do they maybe just need some assistance and- will they realistically get it? Or- have they themselves considered all their options and made their decision taking everything into account?

I really don't know how I'd be if a friend told me they intended to CTB. It's hard to know.

 

[peerlesscucumber]

I think a lot of the time, it comes from a good place. It's just whether it's misguided. But, I mean- to hear someone you care about or simply just feel empathy for as another human being is so unhappy with their life, they would consider ending it is tragic. I think it's natural and kind to hope that things could actually improve for them. Unless you're a promortalist, death probably isn't your prefered outcome for everyone.
So then, I think it needs to be a discussion almost. Do they feel so desperate because they can no longer see the wood for the trees? Do they have any hope left in them? Do they maybe just need some assistance and- will they realistically get it? Or- have they themselves considered all their options and made their decision taking everything into account?

I really don't know how I'd be if a friend told me they intended to CTB. It's hard to know.

I've been in the position of having to convince friends and family members, and mostly I've found it that people reach out before attempting because they want to be convinced, they want to be told that someone cares that they're alive and that they would be sad if they were to leave the world.

Honestly I think this is why I may feel hypocritical while talking them out of attempting, since I always refuse to reach out even when my words always end with something alike to "if you ever feel like this again, I'll always be here for you, caring and listening", even while I refuse to reach out.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

In the past I have asked if people were sure. I think there was a member early on I said they may want to reconsider. It's been awhile so I don't really remember.
Now I usually just wish them the best and hope they find peace. My life has contually gotten worse since I joined.
I just haven't been able to CTB yet.
I'm not going to lie to someone that it will get better or even could get better.

 

[Cress]

I've actually been in the position of having to convince other people to not CBT more than once, and I always end up feeling like shit because I know how annoying it can be to be told to not do it, plus, I always end up feeling like the biggest hypocrite in the world because I am constantly researching and planning my own attempt.
And still, I always feel obligated to try to convince them. My own beliefs tell me that the afterlife isn't bad, that if someone is desperate enough to resort to this then it's best to let them go and pray that they're reborn into a happier next life, but that little selfish gremlin inside of my head tells me that if I don't stop them then it means I'm a bad person because I'd be giving up someone that means a lot to me.

Is this actually selfish of me? Or is this just part of the human instinct?
I haven't been able to ask this to anyone else because all my friends I have had to convince and talking about such topics to my family would probably just endanger my attempt...

There is nothing wrong with Attempting to convince someone to not catch the bus Or at the very least consider all of the details. Suicide isn't always black or white where you need to be aggressively pro life or aggressively pro death in all instances. That all depends on the individual circumstances and it's situational. Just like if police make the decision to end someone's life when they've committed a crime it all depends on the circumstances. You wouldn't say a police officer is a hypocrite for sometimes saving a criminals life instead of ending it. I think it might be fairly comparable?

Either way This desire that you have to convince someone not to catch the bus is just proof of your compassion And empathy for other humans. It's not something you should be ashamed of. Compassion And empathy is something that's going to help you a lot in the long run. Take care of yourself buddy.

 

[Heavy Rain]

No I don't think it's hypocritical
But it can ofc be communicated really badly to people
But we can't walk in eachothers shoes
Some peoples situation CAN improve
So I would always suggest people should try everything they can before making that final decision