The hardest part is letting go

[Mors927]

I know before I CTB I need to delete all of my social media (because I won't need it and I don't want my family looking through it). But I'm still stuck on whether to let them know or not, I don't want to end up surviving... Like what would I do then if I end up surviving, and or being closely monitored after an attempt? I certainly couldn't forgive myself, and my friends probably won't forgive me. Because nobody likes suicidal fuckers and that's a fact.

 

[Susan472]

I think if they're true friends they'd have compassion for how you were feeling

I tend to like suicidal people more than the average person as I can relate to their suffering

It's the average self-serving, self-obsessed, insensitive loud, bullying conformist idiot I can't stand

 

[PlushieLover]

The most scary thing about suicide Is that you can fail. I'm honestly terrified about the idea of failing my suicide attempt. It gives me chills to just write about it.

But what can you do? Just trying not to fail I suppose. I don't even know what I'm trying to say.

Hugs bro, hugs.

 

[WornOutLife]

Well, I failed to ctb last year so, I can tell you what will happen if you survive:

-You'll be monitored 24/7
-People won't look at you the same way they used to.
-You'd better take your meds or psych ward is coming. (if you're lucky and don't end up in one beforehand)
-You'll think of ctb all the time but won't be able to do anything and you'll think you're going to lose your mind for real.

HOWEVER...

If you endure all that, you'll be "free" again sooner or later. You just gotta be a "good boy/girl". Do whatever they tell you to do.

It took me 6 months to be free again. If I ever try to ctb one more time, I can't fail. Otherwise, I'll just end up in a psych ward forever and ever.

 

[FuneralCry]

I can relate to how you are feeling. If only ctb was accepted and we could all just die in peace. The worst part is that it requires planning in secrecy and it can all go wrong. There is unfortunately too much stigma attached to suicide. I wish you the best no matter what happens as nobody deserves to suffer.