the goodbye posts always hurt to see

[Hardcore_Henry]

As a longtime lurker i've seen quite a few post their goodbyes, some leave because they find reasons to live, others because they don't. the latter is what kills me inside. As someone in a similar situation, it always hurts so damn much to see someone get to that point, but at least they don't hurt anymore. It takes a lot out of me, but i am thankful that this place exists. it seems to provide a lot of comfort to people (me included).

 

[almaPerdida]

Same, i am new here and this place is so welcoming and accepting. I can truly be myself and not be judged, and i am very very grateful for everybody.

But seeing the goodbyes hurts. I hope they are all in peace, they are missed here.

 

[Mitsumi]

Same. I feel sad when I see people leaving and I feel like such a hypocrite.

 

[Return2themoonlight]

Same, i am new here and this place is so welcoming and accepting. I can truly be myself and not be judged, and i am very very grateful for everybody.

But seeing the goodbyes hurts. I hope they are all in peace, they are missed here.

You couldn't have said it any better, as with most of us, the judgements from those close to us are what got us to this point and to be able to speak what's truly in the depths of our hearts is all around pleasing. To me, its like the closest we'll get to freedom outside of CTB and I love it and everyone here because of that. It makes me wish I found this sooner than I did. When I first got on here I didn't think it would be this much support and from what I realized its not even about CTB(although a lot of us wish it upon ourselves), its about gaining freedom and peace and that's something we all wish upon each other. CTB just happens to be the sure fire method for those too far into the abyss. I love how nobody on here encourages CTB, we encourage gaining peace and freedom regardless if that's here or in the next phase of reality. And for all those who are no longer here, at least they have a community who will acknowledge their existence far past when they are gone cause none of us want to be forgotten, no matter how far we fall into the abyss.

 

[rileywatson]

Yeah, when I see a goodbye thread I usually end up thinking about it, almost constantly, for the rest of the day. And occasionally for months after.

 

[dinosavr]

Same. I feel sad when I see people leaving and I feel like such a hypocrite.

Why a hypocrite??

 

[idonothing]

You just have to remind yourself that those who say goodbye got what they truly wanted, and chose to live (and many times, die) by their own terms and nothing else, which is something I think all people should be granted the ability to decide. It is a truly sad sight to see the beautiful and worthwhile people who seek understanding on this site leave this world, but we can be comforted by the fact that if they were posting on here then they knew what they were doing and put much thought and consideration into their choices, and if you care for them then just as well you should give them the privilege of your belief in their judgement for themselves. That's the upside we can find in all of this. That we can believe someone we barely knew could be able to make the right decision for themselves when they needed to, whether that is to continue living or to leave consciousness and pass into something else. The departed deserve that respect.

 

[J&L383]

Thank you, idonothing. "Whether to continue living or leave consciousness" . . . .

Well said.

 

[sadidiot0328]

I agree, but I envy them a little bit.

 

[aslongasiremember]

I'm always torn when I see those posts. I am sad because of whatever circumstances in life made them feel like this was the only way. Some of the stories are truly heartbreaking and I wish I could just give them a hug and tell them they are wonderful. At the same time I feel happy for them for making their own choices and ultimately doing a really hard thing to make that happen.

 

[FuneralCry]

I envy those people so much as now they no longer have the ability to suffer in this existence, they are fortunate to me as now they are at peace. For me existence is what is so terrible as it's the ultimate cause of all suffering after all, in my case death is the relief, I'd always prefer to not exist.

 

[Krokodile]

I don't mind my own death, but the thought of other people dying makes me uncomfortable, I mostly avoid the goodbye posts due to this.

 

[almaPerdida]

You couldn't have said it any better, as with most of us, the judgements from those close to us are what got us to this point and to be able to speak what's truly in the depths of our hearts is all around pleasing. To me, its like the closest we'll get to freedom outside of CTB and I love it and everyone here because of that. It makes me wish I found this sooner than I did. When I first got on here I didn't think it would be this much support and from what I realized its not even about CTB(although a lot of us wish it upon ourselves), its about gaining freedom and peace and that's something we all wish upon each other. CTB just happens to be the sure fire method for those too far into the abyss. I love how nobody on here encourages CTB, we encourage gaining peace and freedom regardless if that's here or in the next phase of reality. And for all those who are no longer here, at least they have a community who will acknowledge their existence far past when they are gone cause none of us want to be forgotten, no matter how far we fall into the abyss.

Exactly this. We know what to expect if we ask help from people close to us. The risk of being locked up in a ward, forced to take meds, or not being taken seriously. Sometimes make them worried and unable to act to help us. And you put it perfectly, nobody encourages CTB, everybody helps eachother and gives advices and directions. But no one pushes towards the decision. I love the phrase "i hope you find peace with the decision you make", i've read some variations of it here.
Regardless if people decide to CTB or not, it's just so nice to hear that because it's respecting the decision people take. This community is amazing and i'm glad i found this place to vent.