The feeling of being completely alone

[gnarly]

I feel like loneliness affects a good portion of people in SaSu. The feeling of being alone is so gut wrenching. Usually whenever I realize I'm alone I feel my soul sink. It sinks with no end. Seeing others happy or in love tends to make that feeling even greater. Loneliness is(at least to me) both a gift and a curse. For the gift is you are completely isolated from others. For how terrible people can be. I see that as a positive. But the curse is that feeling. That feeling of sinking. Endlessly. As your eyes drift. Your face loosens. And your soul falls into an infinite void. That void. I wish it never existed. I feel it every day.

 

[dOm!n!K]

I felt like my loneliness was a gift from life for a long time of my life. I had time for myself, my life was nothing more than sitting over books and just studying day and night. It was peaceful because it was the only thing I knew at the time. It changed after I met my ex (first and last boyfriend), after getting a taste of how it feels to have someone, to no longer be lonely now it feels like curse, like there's something empty inside of me that I won't ever be able to fill. That no one would ever be able to fill. I wish I could find peace in my solitude again, it was something positive before. This feeling surely is the part that makes loneliness a curse.

 

[Overwhelmed52]

I'm not just alone, I've been actively rejected by people I wish were my friends or that I need to have a connection with. Part of it is my fault-- I would burn bridges if I thought people weren't treating me well, when I probably should have accepted that I'm not the kind of person who gets treated well. I'm just someone who's "also there." I have social anxiety so I'll never be a social butterfly but I would love to have a close-knit group of friends to be part of, but that's just not going to happen for me. I did reconnect with someone recently, which has helped, but they live far away and have other things going on, so I am mostly lonely. It is tough.