the family guilt problem and a solution

[chimeraq]

hello everyone,
i think perhaps the biggest obstacle for most of us who want to cbt is the family guilt problem. in short the problem is that 'i feel guilty about inflicting the pain of my (possibly gory) death on my family who care deeply about me'.
for example, in my case. i imagine that my brother will receive a call from here (i live in a foreign country) about me being dead. just imagine the pain of that. and then he would have to gather himself and go and tell my mother and sister about it. I just can't do that to them.
but there is a very selfish (some would say) solution to this problem. and it's this. my apologies if someone has already suggested this. i can't read the whole forum before posting.
we feel sad/pain/guilt only because we are conscious and alive, you know what i mean? like i can imagine the pain of my family and the guilt with it only because i am alive now. but once i am dead, i would ahve no consciousness of pain or guilt or family. so now, i can sort of imagine my family crying and such, but once i am dead, i wouldn't know and i wouldn't feel anything and like, that sort of mitigates the guilt that i feel sometimes.

 

[wendydong1]

i was driving home today, and thought if i die now, my baby dog would be always wondering where his mommy is. He would always looking for his mommy to come home... that just drove me to tears...

 

[chimeraq]

yeah i understand but after we ctb we wouldn't feel the sadness of our families/pets. you know what i am saying?

 

[FullCircle]

My pup has stopped me from ctb a few times. He's the only one who needs me.

 

[Rex2019]

hello everyone,
i think perhaps the biggest obstacle for most of us who want to cbt is the family guilt problem. in short the problem is that 'i feel guilty about inflicting the pain of my (possibly gory) death on my family who care deeply about me'.
for example, in my case. i imagine that my brother will receive a call from here (i live in a foreign country) about me being dead. just imagine the pain of that. and then he would have to gather himself and go and tell my mother and sister about it. I just can't do that to them.
but there is a very selfish (some would say) solution to this problem. and it's this. my apologies if someone has already suggested this. i can't read the whole forum before posting.
we feel sad/pain/guilt only because we are conscious and alive, you know what i mean? like i can imagine the pain of my family and the guilt with it only because i am alive now. but once i am dead, i would ahve no consciousness of pain or guilt or family. so now, i can sort of imagine my family crying and such, but once i am dead, i wouldn't know and i wouldn't feel anything and like, that sort of mitigates the guilt that i feel sometimes.

That's true. But you KNOW you are going to to traumatize your family. It's like technically, if you murder a bunch of people and kill yourself, you don't have to suffer any guilt or consequences. But that doesn't mean it makes the action any easier. Since the difficult part is making the decision to do it which you have to do when you are conscious. Making that decision to say " yeah I'm going to knowingly cause my family lots of pain because I guess I'm in pain and my pain is more important that theirs." Is difficult.