Venting The either/or of mental health care

[moonchild]

I finally went to see a doctor last week, for the depression. Mostly because someone needs to officially declare me unfit to work, so I can be eligible for some kind of benefits or disability (whatever the correct term is). I told her I was completely prepared to die a month ago, that I have purchased a rope, written a note, and thrown out some more embarrassing belongings. I told her my financial situation is beyond terrible, that I'm only semi-close to two people, and that I have no plans for even the near future. She asked if I had any immediate thoughts to ctb, and I said that I won't do it today, but that it doesn't feel far away at all. That was apparently enough for her to prescribe some antidepressants, book me an appointment with a physical therapist (lmao what?), and send me on my way.

Why is it that you're either involuntarily sectioned, OR you get no meaningful help at all? She said that if I have immediate thoughts of ending my life I should call emergency services. I guess it's good that that's an option, but I always have thoughts of ending my life? Why am I trusted to make that call? I hate that, when I'm dead, people will say "I wish she would've asked for help", or something along those lines. I asked, but who's listening?

I've been through this same kind of disappointment (with mental health care) before, so I shouldn't be surprised, but it somehow feels worse now that I feel so close to death.

To make things worse, it's apparently a real hassle to apply for benefits. Everyone keeps giving me contradictory information on what to do in which order, and I'm so exhausted.

 

[KibblesNBits]

I finally went to see a doctor last week, for the depression. Mostly because someone needs to officially declare me unfit to work, so I can be eligible for some kind of benefits or disability (whatever the correct term is). I told her I was completely prepared to die a month ago, that I have purchased a rope, written a note, and thrown out some more embarrassing belongings. I told her my financial situation is beyond terrible, that I'm only semi-close to two people, and that I have no plans for even the near future. She asked if I had any immediate thoughts to ctb, and I said that I won't do it today, but that it doesn't feel far away at all. That was apparently enough for her to prescribe some antidepressants, book me an appointment with a physical therapist (lmao what?), and send me on my way.

Why is it that you're either involuntarily sectioned, OR you get no meaningful help at all? She said that if I have immediate thoughts of ending my life I should call emergency services. I guess it's good that that's an option, but I always have thoughts of ending my life? Why am I trusted to make that call? I hate that, when I'm dead, people will say "I wish she would've asked for help", or something along those lines. I asked, but who's listening?

I've been through this same kind of disappointment (with mental health care) before, so I shouldn't be surprised, but it somehow feels worse now that I feel so close to death.

To make things worse, it's apparently a real hassle to apply for benefits. Everyone keeps giving me contradictory information on what to do in which order, and I'm so exhausted.

Any time I see a doctor about any problem, they'll ask if I'm working or how work is going. It's like the primary objective of any health care system is not to keep us healthy but to keep us as wage earning tax payers. If they do keep us healthy, it isn't for our own peace and happiness but to make sure we contribute. And if we can't do that, too bad so sad.

 

[Sad_Autistic_boy_101]

Damn I really relate to this. Anyone I speak to whether it's a professional or just an adult just dismisses what I say about suicide. I feel like no one wants to listen until it's to late. Everyone says they care but they don't.. if they really did then they would either allow me to talk about how I really feel or offer me help. I mean I get help from a therapist but I don't know, just feels like no one listens. I don't want to be stopped from CTB, I just want someone to hear me. Most doctors just give people leaflets and send them away which is ridiculous, I went to the doctors about it and got a leaflet on a mental health group.. which I don't need. I have personally tried anti depressants and they made me worst however I hope they give you some comfort.

 

[rhiino]

I hate doctors. Not because they have done anything to me, but because they have done nothing, nothing at all! No doctor that I have seen in my life could really help me if I went to them with a real problem, other than a check-up. All they can do is give useless advice, be clueless, push pills into your throat or section you.

 

[KibblesNBits]

I hate doctors. Not because they have done anything to me, but because they have done nothing, nothing at all! No doctor that I have seen in my life could really help me if I went to them with a real problem, other than a check-up. All they can do is give useless advice, be clueless, push pills into your throat or section you.

I can't stand doctors. Ineffectual pill pushers who only do the most basic of blood tests and can't be bothered to do more than the bare minimum, who want to get through the appointment as fast as they can to get to their next coffee break. Fuck doctors!

 

[giles corey]

The mentally ill are a marginalized group. Our rights can be stripped from us at the drop of a hat. The way suicide is perceived is archaic and absolutely BONKERS. I believe there will eventually be a shift, but not in my lifetime. You are alone and no one gives a fuck.

 

[KibblesNBits]

The mentally ill are a marginalized group. Our rights can be stripped from us at the drop of a hat. The way suicide is perceived is archaic and absolutely BONKERS. I believe there will eventually be a shift, but not in my lifetime. You are alone and no one gives a fuck.

Agreed. It reminds me of women having to rely on coat hanger abortions in the 50's, because of the fucking pro life rhetoric.

 

[magic6326884]

If you're located in the United States, here's all the info I wish I had had:

• Work with a law firm that specializes in social security disability to help you through the application process. The law firm we used for my wife's social security disability application (for mental health reasons) took their fee out of her initial disability payment, so there was no upfront fee required. They only got paid if the application was successful. The process of applying is (I think intentionally) extremely difficult without guidance.
• There are two levels of help between outpatient meds/therapy and inpatient: intensive outpatient programs and partial hospitalization programs.
  • Intensive outpatient programs are a few days a week for a few hours and are typically most readily accessed by those with good health insurance.
  • Partial hospitalization programs are every day (or every week day) and include groups, medication management, case management, and discharge planning—essentially what you get from a good inpatient hospital but you're free to leave the program at any time and you go home at the end of the day. At least where I live, you can participate regardless of your insurance status and ability to pay, and there are case managers who can help you apply for benefits if you don't have health insurance.

I hope this provides some kind of help or guidance. Good luck!

Edited to add: It's so unfortunate that the most vulnerable and downtrodden have to seek out this kind of help on their own. It takes an amount of determination and energy to find what you need that just isn't possible for those of us who are severely depressed to muster. It's a lot to expect anyone to research law firms, go through the three ring circus of applying for disability, find and secure a referral to a partial hospitalization program, and go through applying for benefits... when you add in depression and suicidality it's a Herculean task.

 

[moonchild]

Damn I really relate to this. Anyone I speak to whether it's a professional or just an adult just dismisses what I say about suicide. I feel like no one wants to listen until it's to late. Everyone says they care but they don't.. if they really did then they would either allow me to talk about how I really feel or offer me help. I mean I get help from a therapist but I don't know, just feels like no one listens. I don't want to be stopped from CTB, I just want someone to hear me. Most doctors just give people leaflets and send them away which is ridiculous, I went to the doctors about it and got a leaflet on a mental health group.. which I don't need. I have personally tried anti depressants and they made me worst however I hope they give you some comfort.

Yeah, I've been to therapy in the past and the focus would always be to move forward and away from the suicidal thoughts, which I suppose isn't wrong in itself. But, like you said, I really just want someone to hear me. And I guess not have the reasons for feeling like this dismissed and my will to die seen as irrational.


@magic6326884 I'm not in the US, but thanks. Maybe it can help someone else :)

 

[SpottedPanda]

I've been on benefits for the best part of twenty years. It's been unbelievably helpful.

It does seem to be all or nothing. You're either in the back of an ambulance, heading for a three month stay, or you're largely ignored.

Any midway treatment seems sparse and hard to access.

My psyche worker came the other day. I mentioned I'd wrapped a belt around my neck, hinting at a 'strange theory' I'd read about online, concluding that I was unsuccessful. I didn't mention a forum, or that I'd ordered a ratchet to try again. It's funny how just a few extra minor details may have landed me in hospital, or simply wording things differently.

Good luck with your claim. If there's one thing in life that beats you over the head with stress it's money worries, compounded tenfold when you're not mentally well.

 

[The Dark Chaos]

I hate that, when I'm dead, people will say "I wish she would've asked for help", or something along those lines. I asked, but who's listening?

This!!

 

[autumnal]

Any time I see a doctor about any problem, they'll ask if I'm working or how work is going. It's like the primary objective of any health care system is not to keep us healthy but to keep us as wage earning tax payers. If they do keep us healthy, it isn't for our own peace and happiness but to make sure we contribute. And if we can't do that, too bad so sad.

I'd say it's actually done for much less ideological and far more practical reasons. For most adults, attendance at work is a good (although certainly not foolproof) indication of physical, social and emotional functioning. So your doctor asking it is a shortcut and an icebreaker that can lead to the patient revealing further symptoms or conditions. They would probably ask a child how school was going for an equivalent purpose.

I suppose it is also a generally safe topic for obligatory small talk also. But this is pretty universal and certainly not unique to healthcare providers nor indicative of some overarching philosophy.

 

[Theresa Riot]

I feel all of this so hard. My experience has been exactly the same. No one actually wants you to get better, they only want you functional enough that they don't have to deal with you anymore. And it's always pills, pills, pills. Everyone's answer for everything is another pill. It's exhausting. But for a moment of humor, allow me to tell you my favorite joke.

Q: what do you call someone who graduates at the bottom of their medical class?

A: doctor.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

the UK mental health system is a joke, (if this is where you are) even if they do take you seriously, they still don't seem to care!

 

[Dreamless Sleep]

These posts are so spot on. Its why I quit going to counseling.... its worthless.

And all the fake people in society who act like they care, posting suicide hotlines on social media. What BS. I have a sibling who does stuff like that, yet she knows how depressed I am. I sold my house to move in and take care of my mom who has stage 4 cancer. My family rarely calls or comes over. They know I have no friends, no life. Just me, alone, with my elderly sick mom. But holy cripes I bet when I'm gone they post a really sad FB story about how I should have reached out for help!

F*ck people. That's why I have my dogs.

 

[Tabbyql]

I've had crisis team intervention several times, they come in my house and all they wanna do is chuck my meds at me and f$%& off. Support workers who force me into pretending to be ok, because according to them. I should be over it by now and miraculously recovered. Psychiatrists who don't even look at me, I got sectioned once. None of the psychiatrists listened to me, and tried to make out my hallucinations, head shaving and going missing to kill my self was all because of stress of moving house. AND one of them actually offered me my self harm tools back, and called me a silly girl. The doctors I have met don't care, make me feel i cant open up. When I do open up a bit they make me feel like a liar or drama queen. I missed a couple of appointments, because my anxiety got so bad (They were aware of this). They chucked me off their list, even after i begged for help. I know I will never get the help I need, maybe it's just the area I'm in I dunno.

 

[sarahlouise]

I've had a similar experience with mental health services, they just don't seem to care. They were happy to let me attempt suicide numerous times over the past few months . There idea of help is to stop my pych meds abruptly , which made me really ill , I'm still struggling without them , it's been 6 weeks since my last attempt but they won't give them back, I fucking hate them seriously. They are supposed to help people .

I've had crisis team intervention several times, they come in my house and all they wanna do is chuck my meds at me and f$%& off. Support workers who force me into pretending to be ok, because according to them. I should be over it by now and miraculously recovered. Psychiatrists who don't even look at me, I got sectioned once. None of the psychiatrists listened to me, and tried to make out my hallucinations, head shaving and going missing to kill my self was all because of stress of moving house. AND one of them actually offered me my self harm tools back, and called me a silly girl. The doctors I have met don't care, make me feel i cant open up. When I do open up a bit they make me feel like a liar or drama queen. I missed a couple of appointments, because my anxiety got so bad (They were aware of this). They chucked me off their list, even after i begged for help. I know I will never get the help I need, maybe it's just the area I'm in I dunno.

That's so out of order . I'm sorry you have been treated like this.

 

[Intheo]

Our human society has a dearth of empathy. This society is designed to make you ill and make you out to be the "broken" one it inevitably happens.

 

[Linda]

May I offer a slightly different perspective here? A nephew of mine is a psychiatrist, and he is a good man who is genuinely doing his best. He has two problems. The first is that a mind is a very complicated thing, but medicine has only rather crude tools. ( Imagine how hard it would be to fix a broken car if the only tool you have is a hammer.) They can give you pills (helpful for some conditions), they can talk with you (helpful for some conditions), and in extreme cases they can physically meddle with your brain (only very rarely helpful), but that is about all they can do. There are some condition for which those tools just don't work. And his second problem is that if your problems arise from some practical matter, such as not having a job for example, or are made worse by not having a job, he can't fix that. A doctor can't give you a job. Unfortunately, the whole system is broken. If we want to fix the system, that becomes a matter of politics, and this is not the right site to be discussing politics. Please don't blame the individual doctors. Many of them are trying their best, but they are held back by the same system that is screwing you.

 

[rhiino]

@Linda
Actually what you say further proves my point that doctors just cannot really help you. Being sick due to living in a sick world is nothing a doctor can fix.

 

[Linda]

@Linda
Actually what you say further proves my point that doctors just cannot really help you. Being sick due to living in a sick world is nothing a doctor can fix.

Not quite. Sometimes they can help people. But by no means always. It depends on each person's particular problem, and I don't know enough about your particular situation to comment on it.

 

[moonchild]

@Linda My post was never about individuals. I only used my doctor as an example, because that was the most recent experience that made me want to write the post. I don't think what I wrote comes across as blaming her specifically, and that it's clear how getting no help OR being involuntarily sectioned is a general problem with mental health care.

Regarding your second point: My experience is that the situational factors that make my problems worse have never been adressed. Not for the eating disorder, not for the depression. It's obviously not something anyone can fix, but that should be even more reason to take it into consideration instead of just slapping some generic CBT-plaster on a gaping wound and think that's going to help. The fact that it's not easy doesn't mean mental health professionals shouldn't be held to any standard in how they approach it, no matter if they're "trying their best".

 

[Crimsonskye]

The physical therapy is to get you back on your feet!

 

[Tabbyql]

I've had a similar experience with mental health services, they just don't seem to care. They were happy to let me attempt suicide numerous times over the past few months . There idea of help is to stop my pych meds abruptly , which made me really ill , I'm still struggling without them , it's been 6 weeks since my last attempt but they won't give them back, I fucking hate them seriously. They are supposed to help people .


That's so out of order . I'm sorry you have been treated like this.

Same with you, I do wonder why some of them are in that profession. Failing to do one of the most important aspects of their job "care".

 

[Ghost2211]

I've hit the same walls. They either want to take all your freedom, or feed you meds that don't really help. I've heard stories of the system helping people, but I don't think that's the majority.

 

[ladolcemorte]

That is very true. I have had lengthy hospital stays a few times. Other times I have been dismissed by Drs as simply "overly dramatic". Very little in between.

 

[moonchild]

I've hit the same walls. They either want to take all your freedom, or feed you meds that don't really help. I've heard stories of the system helping people, but I don't think that's the majority.

Yeah, I've heard stories like that too. Mostly from people who had more or less mild and straightforward problems, then had a positive experience with mental health care, and now think everyone else's problems, no matter how complex, will also be solved by medication and a few sessions with the first therapist you come across. I don't think they're the majority either, but they sure are the loudest.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

This may be a different opinion to most of the replies thus far, but I actually think my doctor really cares about me. She tries very hard and seems genuinely interested in my wellbeing. As much as she cares and tries, I just don't think she can help me.

 

[TheQ22]

A physical therapist? Where did they get their medical degree?

I take it they're from distant lands, this doctor?

 

[moonchild]

This may be a different opinion to most of the replies thus far, but I actually think my doctor really cares about me. She tries very hard and seems genuinely interested in my wellbeing. As much as she cares and tries, I just don't think she can help me.

They exist, for sure, I'm happy you've found one of them! I had a therapist some years back who was quite nice. I don't know if she actually helped that much, but I guess her vibe was good so it always felt good to just go there and vent a little. But this was when I still had the perks of being a minor, so I met with her for two years and we only stopped on my request. Now it seems I should be ecstatic if I can get 15 sessions.

A physical therapist? Where did they get their medical degree?

I take it they're from distant lands, this doctor?

Ah yes of course, because every doctor who was born, raised and trained here is automatically good at their job.