The dragon in the well (Tolstoy)

[Skallagrim]

Anyone read Confession from Leo Tolstoy? Probably not. It's kinda dense, even though it's short. But the story of the Dragon in the Well might make a few people wonder about things.

An abridged version:

A traveler, while crossing the steppe, is suddenly chased by a wild and furious beast. In desperate fear, to escape death, he jumps into a dry well. However, at the bottom of the well, he sees a terrifying dragon with its mouth wide open, ready to devour him. He cannot climb out of the well because of the raging beast above, nor can he jump down to the bottom because of the dragon.

The traveler clings to a twig or branch growing out of the well's wall. His arms grow weak, and he knows that soon he must surrender to death, which awaits him either by the beast above or the dragon below. While he clings to the branch, he notices two mice, one white and one black, gnawing at the branch from opposite sides. He knows that as they nibble, the branch will soon break and he will fall to the dragon.

Despite this hopeless situation, he notices some drops of honey on the leaves of the bush. Even though the honey once gave him sweetness and consolation, now he tries to taste it but finds it has lost its sweetness. He is fully aware of the inevitability of death, the dragon and the mice, and can no longer find solace in pleasures.

I think what Tolstoy was getting at was this; knowing that you're going to die, not as an abstract concept but as a real awareness that it is approaching and there is nothing you can do about it, causes a despair so deep and profound that it steals the joy from anything. Once you're in that well, and once you've surrendered to the void, you're just looking down into those jaws. The mice are day and night, whirring by, both chewing away at the thing that allows you to stop yourself falling into the jaws of death.

But what's not talked about much is the beast at the top that chases the traveler. Most interpretations I've seen see it as life's overwhelming moments. Fears, pain, anxiety so bad you just want to get into the dark. But while the traveler is running from the beast he has passion, desire, a goal in life; passion for continued existence, a desire to see another day, a goal to taste honey again and have it taste good.

So life is pain, fear, running from metaphorical beasts intending to do us harm. An escape from that beast means getting into a limbo where all you can really see is death, and all the joy and hope for something better is sucked out of the world.

So maybe that's what depression really is. It's not a "medical condition", it's not "serotonin deficiency". It's a method of escape from the monster. The mind's way of putting us into a darkness where the beast can't get us, but all we have left is our own demise. A kind of halfway station between life and death, where you have nothing at all left to love or to hope for, and instead just watch as night and day tear at what's left of the life that you cling to.

Not sure if I have a point, but I needed to ramble about this to someone, even the void.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I haven't read the story but then, I'm terrible for avoiding reading. Too lazy really.

The story reminded me of another simile to life and suicide that I've often read here. That of the person trapped in a high rise building on fire. Do they stay in the building and suffer and (likely) die or, do they jump, suffer and die? Is there really much of an actual choice going on there? Is it even suicide? Or, are they simply being pushed into the decision/ death they are less afraid of?

I'd say in the story you kindly abridged and shared, the person is also running entirely off of fear. Fear of the creature chasing it to begin with.

Where I might slightly disagree with your interpretation would be- that even at that initial stage, I doubt the person was full of hope for life and a likely escape from the first monster. I imagine at that point, the poor person is running on adrenalin. Just a desperate scramble to get away.

How logical is it to climb into a well? It would likely be deep. The fall alone could kill the person or at least, break their bones- how would they climb out? Wouldn't the monster just wait for them at the top? Wouldn't it climb in after- if it was that hungry? So- the main character has just climbed into a vertical one way tube with the main exit blocked by a monster. Not a great move- even without the dragon at the bottom! Almost a suicidal move in itself. What are the chances of climbing out a well on your own?

I'd say the act of going in there was one of utter desperation to begin with. The poor guys senses/ logic mangled by fear. After that though sure- they're trapped between a rock and a hard place and they know their fate is going to be bad either way.

I like your analogy though. Maybe the things that (debatably) lead us further into depression are that well. I definitely think we can end up digging our own holes. We start to neglect our hygiene. We don't regulate our sleep. We don't get out of bed. We don't feed ourselves properly or take proper exercise. We let more and more things slip till we physically struggle to do them.

The difference being, it's perhaps a slower process to slide into depression than it is to climb into a well to avoid a monster. It may not be motivated so much by fear either- although it could be if course. A breakdown during a very stressful period for example.

For others though- it seems more motivated by lethargy, apathy. Which may be why they generally garner less sympathy. Lots of people despise lazyness. They can relate to running away from a monster and possibly finding themselves in even hotter water. But they don't admire the person who lays in a hole and gives up for what they see as no apparent reason.