Venting The downward spiral

[PatKat]

I feel like I reach a new low everyday, being stuck in limbo. I can say there is no care in this world from my experiences. I always think it has to be better other places, then I read everywhere people are suffering this deeply. I have tried moving states to see if that helps, but it does not since the problem is moving with you. It is impossible to escape yourself. It feels like the world has turned it's back on me. I just want this to end, I am tired. I want to sleep so badly... I cant even go to sleep because my body wont let me. Maybe this is why people turn to drugs I'm not sure since I do not use any drugs. The disabled are treated like trash. I AM TIRED OF THIS!

 

[jake3d]

I am tired. I want to sleep so badly... I cant even go to sleep because my body wont let me. Maybe this is why people turn to drugs I'm not sure since I do not use any drugs. The disabled are treated like trash. I AM TIRED OF THIS!

Insomnia is definitely a reason why people turn to drugs - and why some people NEED drugs to function. I thought i can do without proper downers while stressing myself out a lot and using some uppers. This led to a bad insomnia which snowballed into this huge mess i made of my head, which is making me go ctb. It sucks.

If you need drugs to sleep, you need 'em, and that's that.

 

[PatKat]

Insomnia is definitely a reason why people turn to drugs - and why some people NEED drugs to function. I thought i can do without proper downers while stressing myself out a lot and using some uppers. This led to a bad insomnia which snowballed into this huge mess i made of my head, which is making me go ctb. It sucks.

I dont want to use illegal drugs though, I just dont want to suffer anymore. I dont even drink anymore. I never asked for this. I understand the world isnt fair, but to be pushed to this point over and over again. Life seems to be playing Russian Roulette with its citizens. Reaching out for help you are just looked at like a disease and pushed away.

 

[Dreamcolleger]

I know how you feel, what is keeping you here if I may ask?

 

[jake3d]

They don't have to be illegal, you can get a prescription or order legal substitutes online. Not every case of insomnia needs a sledgehammer type solution... but mine would've needed one, since i'd been ignoring the occasional sleepless night for too long.

 

[PatKat]

I know how you feel, what is keeping you here if I may ask?

Honestly I do not know at this point, my date in planned for the future<I dont want to say when due to lurkers>.

I have been telling myself something will change something will change something will change, but I have been doing this since I was 12 so 22 years later it has changed, but for the worse. Positivity is for suckers imo.

They don't have to be illegal, you can get a prescription or order legal substitutes online. Not every case of insomnia needs a sledgehammer type solution... but mine would've needed one, since i'd been ignoring the occasional sleepless night for too long.

I am waiting for insurance so I get all my medications back. I have tried going to the ER with no insurance and explaining this. Mental health is treated differently than physical health
If you have a broken leg they are forced to treat you by law, but if its mental health and you straight up tell them I am going to kill myself they will say sorry no insurance, no money not our problem best of luck to you.

Then they go to their car or wherever next and shoot or hang themselves. The hospitals are never liable either since it isnt "law". This is the USA not sure about other countries.

 

[been_there]

What would help? I'd have gone years ago without the booze.