The dilemma with writing a suicide note

[L951788]

I feel like it may be preferable to set some things straight in a note but then again I'll be dead and won't know or care so what does it even matter if I write something or not?

 

[Adamsnolife]

I think it is down to you. It could be like getting something off your chest.

I personally don't think I'll be writing suicide note. Probably to keep it simpler and no one will notice I've gone

 

[Nymph]

It's up to you, I won't be writing a note personally.

 

[BehindTheWall]

Personally I can't commit suicide without writing a note to my family, friends and co-workers. They always been kind with me, they have the right to know why I decide to go.

 

[the_final_countdown]

It's funny.

Researchers constantly talk about the reasons why people commit suicide, like it's some big mystery. But you can take one look around the forums here and you can easily detect a pattern.

Physical illness, financial problems, negative, worst-case scenario thinking, shame and belief that you've failed or destroyed your life, etc.

I used to wonder why people didn't leave suicide notes, back in the good old days, when life was a little lighter. It seemed selfish. But now I know why, because I've experienced the same feelings.

If you're feeling suicidal, you're not exactly in the mood to do anything, but stop the pain. It's just more work. A lot of families beat themselves up about the lack of a note, and I wonder if it would surprise them to know, it's because people didn't have the motivation to do it.

I also think there's something immensely, profoundly painful about writing a suicide note. Because you have to take a moment to face what's arguably the most painful experience you've ever known.

If you notice, people also keep their reasons for committing suicide vague. They'll say they couldn't take the pain, but won't go into specifics.

I think this happens because people don't want to revisit the source of their troubles, but also because, if they honestly examined their pain, they might find it's more bearable than they once thought.

Like they might accidentally convince themselves and get a better sense of clarity. I think a lot of people are ashamed that perhaps they're committing suicide over something trivial or small (or something other people have endured with dignity, even if the suffering is great).

Writing a suicide note is a lot like the beginning of a very serious therapy session. I suspect most people keep it short, just barely addressing topics, because they don't want to swim in the deep waters.

What would happen, after all, if you just kept exploring the source of your troubles? If you kept asking why you felt a certain way?

You might find yourself writing a suicide note and not finding happiness, but some measure of peace.

At least for that day.

 

[Fehler]

I feel like it may be preferable to set some things straight in a note but then again I'll be dead and won't know or care so what does it even matter if I write something or not?

I like to write, but it took me a lot to write my letter (and I'm not entirely convinced of it). At first I wrote without thinking about it, and when I reread it I only noticed hatred... so I redone it several times. In my opinion, the purpose of the letter is that the living that you love in life do not feel so bad, where you can give your reasons and what you think of them. At first, I used it as an autoblibliography of hate but that was selfish because I only did it to unburden myself and it would end up hurting others.
If you are in the misfortune of not having anyone, I would not leave a letter.

 

[mado]

i dont really know how to communicate very well, i dont know why id try to set things straight in a note when itd just be misunderstood or misinterpreted anyway

 

[DEARDEAD]

Personally I can't commit suicide without writing a note to my family, friends and co-workers. They always been kind with me, they have the right to know why I decide to go.

The same thing happens to me, despite knowing that I will not be here, I think I need to give answers to the people I appreciate, it will be very hard

 

[sadworld]

Writing a suicide note is a big problem for me as well but I have found my own personal solution to that. I've made notes on my phone for several months now and everytime I feel like there is something I wanna say I just write one or two sentences down. Over the past several months I wrote many sentences of how I feel and when I die they will check my phone and see everything I wrote down there! So they will at least exactly know how I felt when I'm gone.

 

[Fehler]

Writing a suicide note is a big problem for me as well but I have found my own personal solution to that. I've made notes on my phone for several months now and everytime I feel like there is something I wanna say I just write one or two sentences down. Over the past several months I wrote many sentences of how I feel and when I die they will check my phone and see everything I wrote down there! So they will at least exactly know how I felt when I'm gone.

It's nice to know that I wasn't the only one with that method. For several weeks I was writing individual sentences of how I felt or thoughts and in the end I put them all together to form the letter, good advice.

 

[these_days9]

I think ultimately it comes down to personal choice, just like the decision to ctb at all. Sometimes writing a note can make someone feel more at ease about going. As others have said, it can help feel like you've explained or reasoning, or tried to. Just like funerals too, I think it's more for the living than the dead though. If you gave people for which you leaving will cause pain (and most argue that even if you don't think don't think so there's always someone). But you are right that in a sense it won't really matter to you at the end of the day. I will probably write something at an attempt to quell people ruminating slightly less about what they could have done or if they somehow caused me to do it.

 

[Mer]

So I've decided to do things a little differently with my "suicide note".

It's my Facebook account. Basically for the past year or so I've made several posts talking about my thoughts, about why I want to die, etc. But I made them private. When I'm finally ready to CTB, I'll make my entire profile public (which turns private posts to public) as well. I also made sure to leave a lot of art, my favorite music and videos so if family wants to just scroll through it, they can. I'll also be making a post asking that my account be turned into a memorial account so no one can edit it (my password is super long and crazy, so I'm not worried about anyone hacking it).

Ultimately, I'm pretty happy with my decision. But what works for me will not work for everyone. I've been on FB since 2012 (so that's 8 years worth of content for family and friends to go through), and plenty of people have never used it, so my method wouldn't work for them. But a digital footprint is pretty important these days, so I might as well take advantage of it, ya know?

 

[Keto]

Hello.
For me, I will not write any note, because my preferred method is SN, which seems natural or accidental.
I read a report today for someone who died by SN, the ambulance documented cause of death as "heart attack".
Make sure to pay all your bill, credit card debts, transfer all your money to local bank account. Good luck.

 

[Tired_Tired]

It's not personal choice and it doesn't matter. When you are dead. It's not your business.

 

[Barracuda91]

My note will be very bleak and straight to the point, nothing too profound, it will be a reflection of how I felt in my last moments and the time leading up to it.
I will express with deep consolation that no one has blood on their hands and that I just can't handle my life as a whole.

 

[L951788]

I'm not gonna be writing a note now that I've thought about it. This is what I've usually concluded, anyways. It's not like me to write a note. I don't care what people think after I'm gone. I want to be alone in death. With peace. I don't want any thoughts of what someone thinks or why I did it during my last moments. I simply don't care and I just want out.

 

[262653]

Yeah, I could write how I feel about it, how do I rationalize my suicide, and attempt to answer the questions of whoever I'm addressing in the note. People who I even remotely care about know that I'm dissatisfied with my life experience overall, and with the amount of effort it takes just to make my life not suck. I'm tired of cooking, eating, cleaning, shaving, washing, walking, sitting, and laying in bed.

And I'm not responsible for the ways in which readers will interpret my message anyway, so whatever.

 

[Miss_Takes]

It's funny.

Researchers constantly talk about the reasons why people commit suicide, like it's some big mystery. But you can take one look around the forums here and you can easily detect a pattern.

Physical illness, financial problems, negative, worst-case scenario thinking, shame and belief that you've failed or destroyed your life, etc.

I used to wonder why people didn't leave suicide notes, back in the good old days, when life was a little lighter. It seemed selfish. But now I know why, because I've experienced the same feelings.

If you're feeling suicidal, you're not exactly in the mood to do anything, but stop the pain. It's just more work. A lot of families beat themselves up about the lack of a note, and I wonder if it would surprise them to know, it's because people didn't have the motivation to do it.

I also think there's something immensely, profoundly painful about writing a suicide note. Because you have to take a moment to face what's arguably the most painful experience you've ever known.

If you notice, people also keep their reasons for committing suicide vague. They'll say they couldn't take the pain, but won't go into specifics.

I think this happens because people don't want to revisit the source of their troubles, but also because, if they honestly examined their pain, they might find it's more bearable than they once thought.

Like they might accidentally convince themselves and get a better sense of clarity. I think a lot of people are ashamed that perhaps they're committing suicide over something trivial or small (or something other people have endured with dignity, even if the suffering is great).

Writing a suicide note is a lot like the beginning of a very serious therapy session. I suspect most people keep it short, just barely addressing topics, because they don't want to swim in the deep waters.

What would happen, after all, if you just kept exploring the source of your troubles? If you kept asking why you felt a certain way?

You might find yourself writing a suicide note and not finding happiness, but some measure of peace.

At least for that day.

Thank you for what is an extremely powerful and important post.

 

[Fentanull]

I never consider writing a suicide note for two reasons.

A.) There's genuinely nobody who'd care enough about my passing to be interested in reading any letter explaining my reasoning, outside of like 2-3 estranged family members who would know very well why I did it, anyway.

B.) When I was a kid (10-13ish), I used to write suicide notes before my attempts and all it ever did was serve as a memento reminding me of my utter failure in all things, even suicide, in the weeks following my inevitable failure in catching that slippery, elusive goddamed bus.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

Don't have to write one as no one to leave it to, no family, no friends, no one who gives a shit!

 

[rayofsunshine]

I feel like it may be preferable to set some things straight in a note but then again I'll be dead and won't know or care so what does it even matter if I write something or not?

here is an article regarding writting suicide notes, hope it helps!

https://web.archive.org/web/2019032...hspace.org/ashbusstop.org/Note.html#section-5.

 

[WornOutLife]

I think that it's great to leave goodbye letters explaining why you did it, what you want them to do with your stuff, and explain how much you love them in spite of that decision.
It's true. You won't care because you won't exist but... the ones who stay in this world might find some peace reading your letters.

 

[mini_weeny]

I feel like it may be preferable to set some things straight in a note but then again I'll be dead and won't know or care so what does it even matter if I write something or not?

Please write one explaining your reasons. My father died of a "heart attack" but we suspected it was a suicide because there were lots of Amitriptyline blisters in the trash. If it was a suicide I want to know why and if it was my fault. I sometimes think it was something I said anyway but will never know for sure.