We are kind of in the same boat so I don't really feel schadenfreude. My family is financially extremely fucked. The next decade will be very dramatic. It is not unlikely that I will ctb when the shit erupts.
My sister is not as guilty as my parents who abused us. Though she also treated me very badly. When I was a kid she always made fun of me how stupid I was. She was always seen as the smarter one of us. The one with more self-discipline and better marks. I was desperate because she did not want to play with me. She insulted me instead. One time I even paid her to play for me.
So now everything is kind of diametrical. We both had psychosis. I had severe psychosomatic pain and my mood is one of my biggest issues. I am still quite sharp and my cognitive ability got no damage. My sister instead her cognitive skills got a major hit. I am not sure how bad it exactly is but her psychiatrist confirmed she cannot do her job anymore because of it. I think her thinking ability is slowed down and I am not sure about her sanity. Though my sister has way less mood issues, barely suicidal thoughts and no psychosomatic pain. She often wants that we play together. Either video games or card games etc. I often deny that wish. I don't really want to have a deep relationship with her. It is not because I am angry about the childhood. She has some other flaws.
I have the feeling she is a similar moron as my parents. During my first psychosis she hit me in the face so that my head gets clear again. Honestly who is as dumb to do something like that. When I talked with her how horrible the domestice violence was she responded. If it was as horrible how you describe it why didn't you simply hit her back. Admittedly these were the most horrible facts about her. Not everything is bad. I think she is often lonely. But my friends are just way better people compared to her. You cannot choose your family but you can choose your friends. And I choose my friends over my family in 10 out of 10 cases.
So I don't feel any schadenfreude. Her life is ruined and she also experienced a lot of abuse and injustice. But this does not mean I have to be now best friend with her.
My sister is not as guilty as my parents who abused us. Though she also treated me very badly. When I was a kid she always made fun of me how stupid I was. She was always seen as the smarter one of us. The one with more self-discipline and better marks. I was desperate because she did not want to play with me. She insulted me instead. One time I even paid her to play for me.
So now everything is kind of diametrical. We both had psychosis. I had severe psychosomatic pain and my mood is one of my biggest issues. I am still quite sharp and my cognitive ability got no damage. My sister instead her cognitive skills got a major hit. I am not sure how bad it exactly is but her psychiatrist confirmed she cannot do her job anymore because of it. I think her thinking ability is slowed down and I am not sure about her sanity. Though my sister has way less mood issues, barely suicidal thoughts and no psychosomatic pain. She often wants that we play together. Either video games or card games etc. I often deny that wish. I don't really want to have a deep relationship with her. It is not because I am angry about the childhood. She has some other flaws.
I have the feeling she is a similar moron as my parents. During my first psychosis she hit me in the face so that my head gets clear again. Honestly who is as dumb to do something like that. When I talked with her how horrible the domestice violence was she responded. If it was as horrible how you describe it why didn't you simply hit her back. Admittedly these were the most horrible facts about her. Not everything is bad. I think she is often lonely. But my friends are just way better people compared to her. You cannot choose your family but you can choose your friends. And I choose my friends over my family in 10 out of 10 cases.
So I don't feel any schadenfreude. Her life is ruined and she also experienced a lot of abuse and injustice. But this does not mean I have to be now best friend with her.
Last edited:
