The demonisation of bpd

[bl33ding_heart]

I hate when people act like borderlines are the spawn of satan. Yes I can have manipulative tendancies, but that doesn't mean I choose to manipulate people for fun. And it doesn't mean I'm evil. I just talked with someone earlier who told me I'm manipulative and controlling for telling my bf I was having suicidal thoughts over something and wanting to harm myself over something. Like no, I don't choose or want to be like this. I just unfortunately am. It's so sickening how people act like this is a choice when in reality I would do anything to not be like this. Like yes I admit I'm not a good person and I have my flaws but I'm not evil, and they refused to even acknowledge the pain I was in and just said "you'll survive" and "borderlines just hurt the people around them". Like maybe they were hurt so bad by the people around them that they turned out even worse than them? I honestly get convinced more and more each day that empathy doesn't really exist for most people.

 

[hankly]

The problem comes when you're disregulated or stressed or in what you see as emotional danger.

You switch off the critical thinking and the interpersonal skills and just focus on regulating and trying to return to baseline, and you do this through getting others to balance you.

It's not easy at all and being borderline is pretty fucking difficult but for people that don't have experience of it it's overwhelming and their system is trying to keep them safe by highlighting your behaviour as a threat.

Do your dbt, there are plenty of free courses online to get you started. Mood stabilisers can help for big cases. Try and work as many healthy coping mechanisms into your routine and avoid all the standard stuff.

Open conversations with close people about the condition and catching yourself when you're manipulating, stopping, apologising and showing you care about the other person is going to do a world of good for it.

You have an illness and like almost all illnesses there are ways to manage it to decrease the suffering it causes you and those closest to you.

 

[vak]

I feel this so deeply. My recovery partner has BPD too, and I've seen how much agony it causes them, especially when the people who hurt them in the first place turn around and act like they're evil. Maybe if folks spent less time creating trauma and more time learning about it, we wouldn't be here.

I won't lie, it's hard sometimes (for both of us) but that doesn't mean they're bad or manipulative or any of the crap people like to label. Most of the time, they're just overwhelmed by emotions so intense it literally hurts.

And what really gets me is how people refuse to see the pain, and instead just go, "oh you're manipulative" like that's the whole story. No. You're not evil. You're not doing this for fun. You're in pain and trying to cope with stuff no one should have had to deal with in the first place.

You're not alone in this. You deserve empathy, even if most people seem too self-absorbed to offer it.