The day is finally coming. Motivation to ctb?

[Saitama2]

On Saturday (the day after tomorrow) I'll finally do it, if things go according to plan. I am certain that I don't want to be here anymore. But I'm also certain that SI will kick in at some point. Just need an extra bit of motivation so things go smoothly.

What things do you tell yourself to make yourself stick to the plan? Any thoughts?

My personal one is thinking how incredibly vast and immeasurable the universe is, and how many millions upon millions of years have passed. Basically what we are now and what happens to us has close to zero impact on the universe. People come and go. Their problems and challenges don't matter anymore and neither will ours.

 

[Onelegman]

This is not my best advice. I would think about what has brought me to that point, all the pain that has been caused to me, the suffering that I have suffered, alone, without therapists having tried to help me in years of therapy. When the world is getting worse and I don't want to be in it... I would gather all my negative thoughts to give myself the courage to end it all. It's stupid that your last thoughts are of hate and resentment, but I think it would work for me.

 

[Saitama2]

This is not my best advice. I would think about what has brought me to that point, all the pain that has been caused to me, the suffering that I have suffered, alone, without therapists having tried to help me in years of therapy. When the world is getting worse and I don't want to be in it... I would gather all my negative thoughts to give myself the courage to end it all. It's stupid that your last thoughts are of hate and resentment, but I think it would work for me.

This could actually work

 

[FuneralCry]

I know that in my case if I had a guaranteed, painless way to cease existing on my own terms with no risks involved then I would have no issues in voluntarily ending my own existence, simply being conscious and aware is enough to make me wish for the peace that only death can bring, for me suicide is all that feels rational to eternally escape from an existence that is just meaningless suffering.

I'd always prefer to peacefully not exist than to suffer for decades just to die in agony from old age in this existence where there is no limit as to how much one can be tormented. To me existence truly is the most hellish abomination, I only find comfort in death but more than anything I wish I never existed at all, only non-existence is ideal to me as it's the eternal absence of all suffering and harm.

 

[Linda]

On Saturday (the day after tomorrow) I'll finally do it, if things go according to plan. I am certain that I don't want to be here anymore. But I'm also certain that SI will kick in at some point. Just need an extra bit of motivation so things go smoothly.

What things do you tell yourself to make yourself stick to the plan? Any thoughts?

My personal one is thinking how incredibly vast and immeasurable the universe is, and how many millions upon millions of years have passed. Basically what we are now and what happens to us has close to zero impact on the universe. People come and go. Their problems and challenges don't matter anymore and neither will ours.

I sometimes think in those kinds of astronomical terms too. It helps put life here on earth into perspective. If you plan to ctb using a method that is very quick, thougts of that kind might be all you need.
If I was about to ctb, thoughts of that kind might help me, but they would not be enough. Because of the method I will use, I will die alone, far from other people, and it will take quite a while for me to fade away. I think I would want the comfort of remembering some (a few) of the people I have known and the things we did together. They can't be there with me in person, but they could be there with me in memory. I would find that helpful.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Knowing that it is impossible for nonexistence to harm me, ie. the Epicurean motto: where I am, death is not, and where death is, I am not.

 

[SMmetalhead36]

The fact that the world is getting worse and that me feeling like I've failed my children and me feeling they deserve much better despite one of them being an adult, another close to it and one half way there ( her father can care for her in my absence) motivates me the most to want to CTB the most. The thought of the sexual, verbal, and physical abuse I endured in childhood, along with the domestic violence I suffered from poor choices I made from choosing no good men leds me to want to ctb as well due to overwhelming amounts of shame, grief, regret, and resentment.