the date

[shotgun]

I feel so much more peaceful now that I have my date, plan and place planned. I've turned 18 in April this year, and honestly I don't get why I lived to this day, or why I continued throughout my suffering when everything I needed to leave was already there. Anyway, I don't plan on living through my 20s. I'm finishing hs this year so my last two years I'll just spend doing whatever I want and experiencing as many things I can. Then, right on my birthday, I'll be gone.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand why you'd feel so relieved at having a plan to leave this existence, I wish you the best of luck with your plans.

 

[Enlighten]

How come you have decided to still live for 2 years specifically? What is making you want to CTB and what is making you stay for 2 more years?

 

[d3c4y]

How come you have decided to still live for 2 years specifically? What is making you want to CTB and what is making you stay for 2 more years?

I can't answer for sure because I'm not the op, but they stated they don't want to live in throughout their 20s so on their 20th birthday they want to ctb. Also what's the relevancy to asking why they want to ctb? any reason is a valid one to do so

 

[avaruus]

It's good to live life to the fullest, but don't still do anything that you might regret if you for some reason decide to live or just can't ctb when you turn 20.

i used to listen to kmfdm back in middle school, your name brought back memories. :)

 

[sunsh1n3]

I feel so much more peaceful now that I have my date, plan and place planned. I've turned 18 in April this year, and honestly I don't get why I lived to this day, or why I continued throughout my suffering when everything I needed to leave was already there. Anyway, I don't plan on living through my 20s. I'm finishing hs this year so my last two years I'll just spend doing whatever I want and experiencing as many things I can. Then, right on my birthday, I'll be gone.

just wanted to comment on your username. One of my favorite bands! <3

 

[Enlighten]

I can't answer for sure because I'm not the op, but they stated they don't want to live in throughout their 20s so on their 20th birthday they want to ctb. Also what's the relevancy to asking why they want to ctb? any reason is a valid one to do so
I hope you find the peace you're looking for! enjoy doing what you want for these next years
I hope you find the peace you're looking for! enjoy doing what you want for these next years

Not any reason is a valid reason to CTB? I'm sure that the OP has valid reasons, i'm just asking for them. Maybe they can be solved after all. CTB is a solution, but should be the solution only if all else fails.

 

[d3c4y]

Not any reason is a valid reason to CTB? I'm sure that the OP has valid reasons, i'm just asking for them. Maybe they can be solved after all. CTB is a solution, but should be the solution only if all else fails.

Who's to say if someone's reason to ctb is invalid? Sure if the op wants to recover then all the support to them, but they have time decide whether or not it's something they wish to do when they turn 20. However, I do see what point you're making (unless I'm just reading it wrong) and it's good to live life to the fullest but I guess we'll have to somewhat disagree on this.

Have a good day/night.

 

[shotgun]

How come you have decided to still live for 2 years specifically? What is making you want to CTB and what is making you stay for 2 more years?

Honestly I'm not so sure why I chose that exact date. Even tho I'm set on ctb, I still have my two kittens which I plan on seeing as grown before I go. Also, since I'm in the last year of high school I want to see my friend's graduations, even tho I'll be gone soon I'm still very supportive and proud of them. I am not quite comfortable sharing the reasons I decided I'm hopeless and there isn't any other solution, but I'll be spending my last years doing anything I want. It's the "freedom" I've been looking for. Seeing my friends as successful people and making sure they won't be too affected after my death is one of my last wishes I guess, which is why I chose two years. There are multiple things I gotta finish before I'm gone.

 

[Enlighten]

Honestly I'm not so sure why I chose that exact date. Even tho I'm set on ctb, I still have my two kittens which I plan on seeing as grown before I go. Also, since I'm in the last year of high school I want to see my friend's graduations, even tho I'll be gone soon I'm still very supportive and proud of them. I am not quite comfortable sharing the reasons I decided I'm hopeless and there isn't any other solution, but I'll be spending my last years doing anything I want. It's the "freedom" I've been looking for. Seeing my friends as successful people and making sure they won't be too affected after my death is one of my last wishes I guess, which is why I chose two years. There are multiple things I gotta finish before I'm gone.

I see. Then i think you should do exactly that. Live as freely as you want for these 2 years.
But when your planned time of CTB is nearing, I would at least reflect on those 2 years, how they have been, how it has evolved/devolved compared to the past.
People change and so do their thoughts. Chances are you might still hate life and want to go through with it, but your life and mental state might also have improved.
2 years gives you a lot of time to think/ try shit out, so i think it's good you chose on this timeframe.
And if you every wanna talk along the way, i'm here, alongside all these people here.