Venting The crisis chat line left me on read

[internetgrime]

So the first time I tried an online chat line they left me on read for an hour, the second time they just said to try and draw when I feel like CTB since I'm an artist, and then said they felt like they'd done enough because I didn't seem actively about to CTB lol. Has anyone actually had good experiences with online crisis lines or are they all this fucking dumb

 

[orca87]

I think these crisis lines are meant for people who rush in an impulsive attempt – not people who have found peace with ctb. I mean, what could they say without knowing anything about you? Can they give you what you're longing for or take away what is causing your pain?

 

[internetgrime]

I think these crisis lines are meant for people who rush in an impulsive attempt – not people who have found peace with ctb. I mean, what could they say without knowing anything about you? Can they give you what you're longing for or take away what is causing your pain?

I guess not. I just really felt upset at them straight up not answering me, and then reducing my feelings to just "draw a picture and you'll feel better". I feel like, damn you really don't get it do you

 

[SilentSadness]

I don't think there's any point trying to get any advice from such delusional people, we are better off just being alone. I have also had only negative experiences with them when I was foolish enough not to know what they're capable of. They are infamously pathetic and I've never heard anyone say they've helped them other than the people they advertise. It's very difficult to exist when you know you want death more than anything, and people are so invalidating, so I definitely empathise but as I'm in the same position I can't offer any suggestions. I hope you find a way forward.

 

[internetgrime]

I don't think there's any point trying to get any advice from such delusional people, we are better off just being alone. I have also had only negative experiences with them when I was foolish enough not to know what they're capable of. They are infamously pathetic and I've never heard anyone say they've helped them other than the people they advertise. It's very difficult to exist when you know you want death more than anything, and people are so invalidating, so I definitely empathise but as I'm in the same position I can't offer any suggestions. I hope you find a way forward.

I'm really sorry you had to deal with this too. I pray things get better for you

 

[FacePALM]

In January I got a lot worse real fast and my therapist said I could call her if felt like I really needed to talk, if I didn't trust myself. Of course I was never gonna do that, she has a life, no need for me to interrupt with my bullshit , I told her as much and she made me promise I'd call or text a suicide hotline, so I did. I was crying on my couch for a long while because I just felt so bad but couldn't kill myself, didn't have acces to a method so I texted a hotline. All they told me to do was distract myself with watching tv and or writing. I've been doing that! I try that everyday, most of the time it doesn't work anymore. I needed perspective not some people telling me what I already know. So yeah, sorry can't really give much advice. My experience sucked too.

 

[internetgrime]

In January I got a lot worse real fast and my therapist said I could call her if felt like I really needed to talk, if I didn't trust myself. Of course I was never gonna do that, she has a life, no need for me to interrupt with my bullshit , I told her as much and she made me promise I'd call or text a suicide hotline, so I did. I was crying on my couch for a long while because I just felt so bad but couldn't kill myself, didn't have acces to a method so I texted a hotline. All they told me to do was distract myself with watching tv and or writing. I've been doing that! I try that everyday, most of the time it doesn't work anymore. I needed perspective not some people telling me what I already know. So yeah, sorry can't really give much advice. My experience sucked too.

Yeah, they used the distract yourself line on me too. Like man, I'm miserable, it creeps into everything and ruins things I usually enjoy. I know getting depressed/suicidal/recovered people to run those hotlines would be a bad idea for their sake, but damn I sometimes wish they would because the mentally well people working at them do NOT understand

 

[FacePALM]

Yeah, they used the distract yourself line on me too. Like man, I'm miserable, it creeps into everything and ruins things I usually enjoy. I know getting depressed/suicidal/recovered people to run those hotlines would be a bad idea for their sake, but damn I sometimes wish they would because the mentally well people working at them do NOT understand

No, exactly that. You can't get this feeling out of a textbook. It isn't as simple as "I want to die, let's go distract myself, wouldnt want that"
It seeps out of my pores, when I watch something or game or do anything really my mind always comes back to the horrible pit in my stomach.

 

[internetgrime]

No, exactly that. You can't get this feeling out of a textbook. It isn't as simple as "I want to die, let's go distract myself, wouldnt want that"
It seeps out of my pores, when I watch something or game or do anything really my mind always comes back to the horrible pit in my stomach.

Literally there are some songs that are ruined because I listened to them in a spiral, why would I want to do that with the other things that bring me joy? Make it a battle royale of hobbies and interests that haven't yet been tainted by suicidal ideation? I don't think so.

 

[Covalite]

EDIT
im sorry you had a terrible experience with them like me. I hope if you want to recover you will succeed.
end of edit
I have had terrible experiences with crisis and help lines. They either seem to read a script, hang up on you cause your "not at risk to ctb rn" or (in crisis's case) simply call the police for a welfare check and possible hospitalization. Even the trans specific helpline i once tried simply had a 5 minute time limit or something i hung up when they where reading the scrip and letting me know i only have a limited amount of time to talk. Like who says to some one seeking help you only have 5 minutes of my time basically as the first thing they say. I'm done with those text/call for help lines, haven't used one in years. I hope others have had better experiences but somehow i don't have much hope for that.

 

[Stormy Raine]

I'll never call the suicide hotline again! There's no way a stranger can solve a lifetime of pain and suffering in 5-10 min. I know they mean well, but when I go, I'll go and I won't waste time for someone who wants to live by taking up their time. There were no help for me, but I doubt anyone can help me at this point.

 

[internetgrime]

EDIT
im sorry you had a terrible experience with them like me. I hope if you want to recover you will succeed.
end of edit
I have had terrible experiences with crisis and help lines. They either seem to read a script, hang up on you cause your "not at risk to ctb rn" or (in crisis's case) simply call the police for a welfare check and possible hospitalization. Even the trans specific helpline i once tried simply had a 5 minute time limit or something i hung up when they where reading the scrip and letting me know i only have a limited amount of time to talk. Like who says to some one seeking help you only have 5 minutes of my time basically as the first thing they say. I'm done with those text/call for help lines, haven't used one in years. I hope others have had better experiences but somehow i don't have much hope for that.

I'm so sorry you had to deal with that too. I felt the script thing hard, and even when I indicated that I was trans and wanted a councillor who understood LGBTQ issues they didn't like. Mention it at all? Like my problem wasn't lgbtq related but honestly the experience felt very generic and unhelpful. I'd be much better just talking to a friend, but I hate traumadumping on my friends

 

[Covalite]

I'm so sorry you had to deal with that too. I felt the script thing hard, and even when I indicated that I was trans and wanted a councillor who understood LGBTQ issues they didn't like. Mention it at all? Like my problem wasn't lgbtq related but honestly the experience felt very generic and unhelpful. I'd be much better just talking to a friend, but I hate traumadumping on my friends

well if you wanna vent whether for recovery reasons or just as a need to get it all out, feel free to DM me.
edit was fixing an auto correct typo

 

[internetgrime]

well if you wanna vent whether for recovery reasons or just as a need to get it all out, feel free to DM me.
edit was fixing an auto correct typo

thank you, it means a lot

 

[LittleJem]

crisis lines… The latest one I called asked if I'd tried distraction. I asked her if she was going to suggest I did colouring in. She was terrible. Zero empathy in her voice. Just 'mm hmm'. I told her I watch serial killer videos and she said she wouldn't recommend that. But that is my best distraction as my mind is in such a state that something grisly can sometimes distract me. Never used to like that stuff till my depression got worse.

Saying that, for me I find calling Samaritans very helpful. It helps me just to have someone listen and be there even though no-one can change my suicidal thoughts. It helps me bear it to talk to them. I have found them much better than crisis line which is a bit of a nonsense in some ways. Like if my mental health is constantly shit, what is a crisis. And the Samaritans have never given me that kind of offhand suggestion.

 

[Unending]

I was calling every day for a while before I found this website and sometimes there would be nice people to talk to but sometimes there were less nice people to talk to just like with anything else.

Unfortunately talking to a stranger isn't going to really solve a long term issue on it's own. They can give out nice little resources of course but I just never found it to be very helpful or not anything I could just google in five seconds. It's sort of an odd talk when you tell them you've been through dozens of recovery attempts only to be failed by the mental healthcare system.

Also, the invasive questions were a bit uncomfortable for me personally. I gave it up as it began to feel like a gamble of whether I was going to get a nice person who gave me a 10 minute distraction or a grumpy asshole who was going to make me feel worse. My personal experience is that SaSu serves the same purpose as what I got from a "good" hotline call without all the frustrating paternalism. Not happy that I ended up needing this forum but am happy that it was here when I needed it if that makes sense.

 

[PrettyKitty]

I've called and texted there before and been disconnected hanged up on and not replies before. They are super busy or can not have any care sometimes. Don't take it personally like I did.

 

[sannoji]

I think these crisis lines are meant for people who rush in an impulsive attempt – not people who have found peace with ctb. I mean, what could they say without knowing anything about you? Can they give you what you're longing for or take away what is causing your pain?

i swear it doesn't even work in that situation. my first attempt was impulsive and y'know, being left on read only really encouraged me lol. i guess telling you to distract yourself could help in some impulsive situations but too many people i've met online were just ignored or put on hold. like i get if they're overloaded but what the hell dude. hotlines have never been helpful at least for me