The conscious decision not to ctb for a specific duration of time.

[StateOfMind]

Contemplating and attempting suicide is mentally and physically taxing to various degrees (depending on method and many other factors).
At least for me.
For that reason I have given myself the weekend "off" of any kind of serious attempts.
I am NEET (Not in Employment, Education, or Training).
For me there is not much differences when it comes to day of the week.
Every day is just the same kind of sludge.
Transitioning between AM and PM doesn't seem to make much difference.
Suicide is like my job so at the weekend I take a break lol.

Anyone else have such rituals?

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm currently a NEET too since my failed CTB attempt (actually, I've been a neet for the last 2 years but managed to get some usd with freelance jobs)
Anyway, I know how you feel.
What's keeping me alive is my family. I realized they will be too destroyed without me so either they die first or I keep living lol


Something I do so as to no feel depressed all the time is to learn languages. (japanese and portuguese currently)
Finding a hobby, no matter what it is, helps lots but in the end, CTB thoughts come back and we wonder when the day to leave shall be.

 

[Squiddy]

I'm currently a NEET too since my failed CTB attempt (actually, I've been a neet for the last 2 years but managed to get some usd with freelance jobs)
Anyway, I know how you feel.
What's keeping me alive is my family. I realized they will be too destroyed without me so either they die first or I keep living lol


Something I do so as to no feel depressed all the time is to learn languages. (japanese and portuguese currently)
Finding a hobby, no matter what it is, helps lots but in the end, CTB thoughts come back and we wonder when the day to leave shall be.

I'm also a NEET too currently and I'm also staying alive for family and friends because they'd be destroyed without me. For a hobby, I'm looking at potentially computer programming, but I have to gain the motivation to do it as I don't really have it currently.

 

[Snowdrifts1212]

What I've started doing lately is setting milestones I want to be alive for. Only by a matter of days. "Oh, I have to stay alive at least to finish this work project I care about." Or, "oh, it's so-and-so's birthday this week, I have to stay alive until after that." Then I try to set another one. Not too far out or the idea of having to live that long is horrifying. But I just try to give myself a few days here, a week there, then see how I feel at the end of that. I don't know how long I'll be able to keep finding these milestones, to be honest. I'm running out pretty fast.

 

[Ghost2211]

That was my lifestyle before the kids. It's boring af and I never knew what day it was. I'll be right back with you in that lifestyle once they are bigger.

 

[StateOfMind]

What's keeping me alive is my family.

Lucky you, or not depending on your desire to ctb. My "family" and "friends" are some of the main reasons I'm here.. I don't think they will be surprised when I'm gone. They definitely contributed to wrecking my life. Fuck them.

What I've started doing lately is setting milestones I want to be alive for. Only by a matter of days. "Oh, I have to stay alive at least to finish this work project I care about." Or, "oh, it's so-and-so's birthday this week, I have to stay alive until after that." Then I try to set another one. Not too far out or the idea of having to live that long is horrifying. But I just try to give myself a few days here, a week there, then see how I feel at the end of that. I don't know how long I'll be able to keep finding these milestones, to be honest. I'm running out pretty fast.

Be careful.. its a trap. I don't how serious you are about ctb but I have found that the closer you get to your goal the easier it gets to postpone and you will always find new "milestones" if you don't put an end to it.

It's much easier and alluring to delay than to commit. This is a challenge that many of us are facing.

That was my lifestyle before the kids. It's boring af and I never knew what day it was. I'll be right back with you in that lifestyle once they are bigger.

I feels like at times I'm driving myself into boredom to help me overcome SI. I could easily take up some benign tasks but that wont change the over all quality of my shitty existence.