the condescension toward suicidal people is infuriating

[Mbound]

I'm sure this has been talked about before on here, but:

"the coward's way out"
"a permanent solution to a temporary problem"

jfc neither of these stupid aphorisms could be further from the truth. There are few things I can think of that take more guts, more balls, than looking death square in the face--overcoming the natural, inborn survival instinct we all have-- and diving headfirst into the unknown (often, unfortunately, in an incredibly painful and lonely way). Not to make it sound noble or whatever, but it's definitely not for the faint of heart, or a "coward." I feel much more cowardly silently suffering through day after miserable day because action requires tremendous risk and commitment.

And then there's the notion that our problems are "temporary." For fuck's sake, all problems are technically temporary because life is temporary. If your life is nothing but crushing waves of problems or one soul-emptying lifelong problem and it feels suffocating and hopeless enough that you would rather be dead than suffer through it any longer...I would say that's not something random idiots can patronize you into feeling more positive about. And this idea that everything will get better... your lifelong mental illness, your health issues, your addiction, your grief, your poverty, your injuries, your isolation, your sense of absolute unbelonging, your inability to cope with the innumerable daily miseries we all take as a given....and how, again? A call to the sui hotline, a visit to a therapist, an SSRI or two, maybe an IOP and a few halfhearted attempts to "put yourself out there"? Lather, rinse, repeat. And for what--a chance that it could maybe improve, a bit, at some point? Why can't we just accept that some people were not cut out for this shit, recognize that most people try very hard to find other solutions before ctb, and stop the condescending garbage?

 

[Mofreeko]

I really needed to read this. Thank you.

 

[lost_soul83]

I'm sure this has been talked about before on here, but:

"the coward's way out"
"a permanent solution to a temporary problem"

jfc neither of these stupid aphorisms could be further from the truth. There are few things I can think of that take more guts, more balls, than looking death square in the face--overcoming the natural, inborn survival instinct we all have-- and diving headfirst into the unknown (often, unfortunately, in an incredibly painful and lonely way). Not to make it sound noble or whatever, but it's definitely not for the faint of heart, or a "coward." I feel much more cowardly silently suffering through day after miserable day because action requires tremendous risk and commitment.

And then there's the notion that our problems are "temporary." For fuck's sake, all problems are technically temporary because life is temporary. If your life is nothing but crushing waves of problems or one soul-emptying lifelong problem and it feels suffocating and hopeless enough that you would rather be dead than suffer through it any longer...I would say that's not something random idiots can patronize you into feeling more positive about. And this idea that everything will get better... your lifelong mental illness, your health issues, your addiction, your grief, your poverty, your injuries, your isolation, your sense of absolute unbelonging, your inability to cope with the innumerable daily miseries we all take as a given....and how, again? A call to the sui hotline, a visit to a therapist, an SSRI or two, maybe an IOP and a few halfhearted attempts to "put yourself out there"? Rinse, lather, repeat. And for what--a chance that it could maybe improve, a bit, at some point? Why can't we just accept that some people were not cut out for this shit, recognize that most people try very hard to find other solutions before ctb, and stop the condescending garbage?

I couldn't agree with you more. Why, just yesterday I had someone tell me that I didn't take my ctb attempt "seriously." I don't take anything more seriously than that. And I'm sure most of us here would agree that these decisions are not made lightly or hastily on the spur of the moment, they're made after agonizing over methods, feelings of guilt over the people we'll leave behind, what lies after this life and what will happen to pets, family members and friends. To all you pro-lifers out there, try seeing life from the "other side of the fence."

 

[Ashpac]

My problem is permanent so i always have fun in telling them ''Not all suicides had temporary problems, some of them have permanent problems like i do''
Shuts them right up.
Everything pro lifers say can easily be turned around on them and they can easily be made to look stupid as ive done this many times.

 

[Escaper Boy]

Some SS members ctb'd recently. I really admired their bravery and fortitude for taking such decision. And I feel so envy to them, I wish I am courageous enough to do it as well.

If anything, they are not "cowards" like those judgmental people said.

 

[martha]

"the coward's way out"
"a permanent solution to a temporary problem"

I would say that's not something random idiots can patronize you into feeling more positive about.

Well said and it is in fact extra damaging and humiliating suicidal people to be called cowards or not being able to see positivity.
This is sheer arrogance.

In one of my darkest nights I started calling suicide hotlines, bc I was literally about to jump off the windows or balconies of our 8th floor apartment.
Family was out and I felt like crawling up the walls.
Thought, if I don´t talk to somebody now, there will be no way surviving the night.

first gave the catholics a try, (stick to your roots, I thought).
But she was such a creep and had a voice on her, that my hair stood on end.
Plus she kept on answering phone-calls during our conversation, telling me, that there were really endangered people in the line.
Wtf are people like this working in such hotlines?
They give you an extra push, when you want to jump.

Hung up and tried the protestants.

There was a truly relaxed guy answering, who told me after 5 minutes talk he himself had problems with church and therefore had turned into a Buddhist.
We mainly talked about his problems then, but at least , he let the other suicidals wait and concentrated on me.

He gave me the address of a Buddhist temple nearby and said they would not know depression at all, bc they are very settled.
When family came home, I still had him on the line.
I was afraid to book a retreat at the temple in case I might fall into him there accidently.....

This sounds funny, but is true experience !

.......as to be continued....

 

[tomz323]

Well "temporary problem" doesn't mean much when your whole life has been one endless problem. Its fucking evil to try and force people to stay, they would do the same in my shoes.

 

[Only Me Here]

I'm sure this has been talked about before on here, but:

"the coward's way out"
"a permanent solution to a temporary problem"

jfc neither of these stupid aphorisms could be further from the truth. There are few things I can think of that take more guts, more balls, than looking death square in the face--overcoming the natural, inborn survival instinct we all have-- and diving headfirst into the unknown (often, unfortunately, in an incredibly painful and lonely way). Not to make it sound noble or whatever, but it's definitely not for the faint of heart, or a "coward." I feel much more cowardly silently suffering through day after miserable day because action requires tremendous risk and commitment.

And then there's the notion that our problems are "temporary." For fuck's sake, all problems are technically temporary because life is temporary. If your life is nothing but crushing waves of problems or one soul-emptying lifelong problem and it feels suffocating and hopeless enough that you would rather be dead than suffer through it any longer...I would say that's not something random idiots can patronize you into feeling more positive about. And this idea that everything will get better... your lifelong mental illness, your health issues, your addiction, your grief, your poverty, your injuries, your isolation, your sense of absolute unbelonging, your inability to cope with the innumerable daily miseries we all take as a given....and how, again? A call to the sui hotline, a visit to a therapist, an SSRI or two, maybe an IOP and a few halfhearted attempts to "put yourself out there"? Lather, rinse, repeat. And for what--a chance that it could maybe improve, a bit, at some point? Why can't we just accept that some people were not cut out for this shit, recognize that most people try very hard to find other solutions before ctb, and stop the condescending garbage?

I think i'm in ❤ well said Mbound!

 

[Alan James]

Why do you care what someone thinks and says? I was not interested in the opinion of society in life - the more I do not care about him when I am going to die. I know in advance everything that they will say, it is very predictable and stupid. If everyone around you thinks that CTB is cowardice and egoism, that's fine, then I am a coward and egoist and I really like them to be, I'm even proud of it.

 

[Amber1974]

I'm sure this has been talked about before on here, but:

"the coward's way out"
"a permanent solution to a temporary problem"

jfc neither of these stupid aphorisms could be further from the truth. There are few things I can think of that take more guts, more balls, than looking death square in the face--overcoming the natural, inborn survival instinct we all have-- and diving headfirst into the unknown (often, unfortunately, in an incredibly painful and lonely way). Not to make it sound noble or whatever, but it's definitely not for the faint of heart, or a "coward." I feel much more cowardly silently suffering through day after miserable day because action requires tremendous risk and commitment.

And then there's the notion that our problems are "temporary." For fuck's sake, all problems are technically temporary because life is temporary. If your life is nothing but crushing waves of problems or one soul-emptying lifelong problem and it feels suffocating and hopeless enough that you would rather be dead than suffer through it any longer...I would say that's not something random idiots can patronize you into feeling more positive about. And this idea that everything will get better... your lifelong mental illness, your health issues, your addiction, your grief, your poverty, your injuries, your isolation, your sense of absolute unbelonging, your inability to cope with the innumerable daily miseries we all take as a given....and how, again? A call to the sui hotline, a visit to a therapist, an SSRI or two, maybe an IOP and a few halfhearted attempts to "put yourself out there"? Lather, rinse, repeat. And for what--a chance that it could maybe improve, a bit, at some point? Why can't we just accept that some people were not cut out for this shit, recognize that most people try very hard to find other solutions before ctb, and stop the condescending garbage?

Excellent post thank u

 

[TAW122]

I fully agree. The sheer amount of ignorance and denial that the vast majority of people have including the threats to hospitalize or use force against someone who hasn't committed any crimes is appalling. I do say if someone did try to force me against my will, they will regret it, and if I wasn't going to CTB then, I will certainly CTB, especially if I have nothing else to lose (because why not). I'm a bit surprised that there aren't more people retaliating or striking back (both legally and illegally) at these establishments and the people who are responsible for their suffering. Maybe the people in power know that these vulnerable people are easy pickings and won't fight back, so they can bully them relentlessly, with the backing of majority of society, government, and their peers, and nothing will happen to them. Then you also get the people who claim they are 'glad' to have been saved (good for them, they don't speak for everyone though.) Note: I'm not advocating for violence, but rather giving food for thought.

This is clearly a societal issue that needs to be changed and until people in the vast majority of society accepts that NOT all suicides are irrational or a result of mental illness, then this shit will continue to happen and us suicidal people will continue suffering in silence and having to CTB in secret, while evading interference from medical professionals, law enforcement, authority, their peers, etc.

 

[Alan James]

The main reason is that our life does not belong to us, we are just a resource - suicide is damage to state property, the flight of wage slaves. If ordinary people and society are mistaken because of the brainwashing and ignorance, then the hosts of this world system are well aware of what they are doing. This is not a mistake and a consequence of ignorance: they don't give slaves rights and freedoms, they want to extort the maximum possible money and other resources from people, use us, receive profits from the suffering of people. This is an enemy who knows no pity.

 

[Gooseygoes]

I'm sure this has been talked about before on here, but:

"the coward's way out"
"a permanent solution to a temporary problem"

jfc neither of these stupid aphorisms could be further from the truth. There are few things I can think of that take more guts, more balls, than looking death square in the face--overcoming the natural, inborn survival instinct we all have-- and diving headfirst into the unknown (often, unfortunately, in an incredibly painful and lonely way). Not to make it sound noble or whatever, but it's definitely not for the faint of heart, or a "coward." I feel much more cowardly silently suffering through day after miserable day because action requires tremendous risk and commitment.

And then there's the notion that our problems are "temporary." For fuck's sake, all problems are technically temporary because life is temporary. If your life is nothing but crushing waves of problems or one soul-emptying lifelong problem and it feels suffocating and hopeless enough that you would rather be dead than suffer through it any longer...I would say that's not something random idiots can patronize you into feeling more positive about. And this idea that everything will get better... your lifelong mental illness, your health issues, your addiction, your grief, your poverty, your injuries, your isolation, your sense of absolute unbelonging, your inability to cope with the innumerable daily miseries we all take as a given....and how, again? A call to the sui hotline, a visit to a therapist, an SSRI or two, maybe an IOP and a few halfhearted attempts to "put yourself out there"? Lather, rinse, repeat. And for what--a chance that it could maybe improve, a bit, at some point? Why can't we just accept that some people were not cut out for this shit, recognize that most people try very hard to find other solutions before ctb, and stop the condescending garbage?

I agree with you and share your frustration and I think the problem may actually go a bit deeper. In my opinion, most suicidal folks are highly intelligent, super observant and quite analytical. In fact, I imagine there's an argument to be made that high intelligence is a precursor to suicidal ideation.

Seriously though... what kind of person chooses to continue living on this hellish planet if they've at all been paying attention? I'll tell you who, people who WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM.

With that said, please stop trying to explain your dilemma to them, they're not helping you.

Also, I think people who kill themselves (barring murder-suicide) are some of the bravest individuals on the world. Taking your life is no joke...

 

[Gooseygoes]

The main reason is that our life does not belong to us, we are just a resource - suicide is damage to state property, the flight of wage slaves. If ordinary people and society are mistaken because of the brainwashing and ignorance, then the hosts of this world system are well aware of what they are doing. This is not a mistake and a consequence of ignorance: they don't give slaves rights and freedoms, they want to extort the maximum possible money and other resources from people, use us, receive profits from the suffering of people. This is an enemy who knows no pity.

I'll also add that I believe life wouldn't be enjoyable for these people you refer to if miserable folks felt empowered enough to exercise their right to drop out of the game. For the, "hosts of this world system" a large part of their joy comes from the idea that someone is more miserable then they are.

 

[JJ-NOHOPE]

I guess we'll have just have to wait until the 'Soylent Green' version of suicide is available.
It looks quite peaceful.

What a sad and yet prophetic movie.

 

[Mbound]

I agree with you and share your frustration and I think the problem may actually go a bit deeper. In my opinion, most suicidal folks are highly intelligent, super observant and quite analytical. In fact, I imagine there's an argument to be made that high intelligence is a precursor to suicidal ideation.

Seriously though... what kind of person chooses to continue living on this hellish planet if they've at all been paying attention? I'll tell you who, people who WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM.

With that said, please stop trying to explain your dilemma to them, they're not helping you.

Also, I think people who kill themselves (barring murder-suicide) are some of the bravest individuals on the world. Taking your life is no joke...

I agree with you. I think it was Louis CK who said that if most people sat down and wrote down all the shitty parts of life and then all the good parts....well, you know what conclusion they'd come to. And that's for just average people who aren't dealing with crippling depression or health issues or whatever else brings people to sites like this. And honestly, I don't explain my dilemma to anyone. And if I do even begin to go there it's to people who get it. It's more something I observe when famous people ctb, or random dumbass facebook friends. There are two of my family members (died before I was born) who ctb'd though so I've always taken note of how people talk about it. I understand people feeling angry, confused, etc. about it, but anyone who brings the word "coward" into the conversation is an absolute moron.

 

[martha]

.......as to be continued....

I would like to clearify , that this is not a post against religion generally and that I do not intend to vulnerate anybody´s religious attitude.
I myself do find comfort in spirituality.