Discussion The big 27

[Jisatsu]

Another birthday approaching on the 28th, and I'm honestly dreading it. Each year feels like another chain added to the weight of my existence. People talk about celebrating milestones, but for me, it's just another reminder that I'm still here ... still aging, still struggling, and still watching time pass .

There's something about birthdays that amplifies the existential dread. The forced cheerfulness, the expectations to be grateful for another year.... when all I feel is the crushing weight of continued consciousness. Aging isn't a gift when you don't want to be here in the first place.

My fiance committed suicide when he was 27 and a part of me wants to join the "27 club" even tho I'm not a celebrity, it just feels appropriate to die the sma eage he was.

I wonder if anyone else feels this way? Like birthdays aren't celebrations but just markers of prolonged suffering? The world keeps spinning, people keep aging, and some of us just wish we could opt out of aging all together.

 

[violetforever]

i hate birthdays too. that day hasn't made me feel any different or excited for years. not sure why i should have to celebrate it. mine was ruined for me one year so that adds onto the aversion.

My fiance committed suicide when he was 27 and a part of me wants to join the "27 club" even tho I'm not a celebrity, it just feels appropriate to die the sma eage he was.

sorry to hear that i think of the age i'm turning in relation to other people's ages during their suicide too. they were so much older than me. it just makes me wonder what i'm waiting for if i know when i reach their age i'll still feel this way like them.

 

[haihaihai]

funnily, ive always wanted to be apart of the 27 club for a long time. it started even before i could fully comprehend just how that would occur. i feel you about birthdays. i wish i could offer something uplifting about all this, but im on the same boat.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

My next birthday is THIRTY-seven and I'm basically a teenager, and not in the good way. My life froze over 15 years ago. That's when the thought of suicide arrived. Should have pulled the plug back in the Obama years.

 

[praythestars]

I started reframing it as being one year closer to death regardless if I want it or not. In good years it's troubling and pings an existential crisis, in bad years it's vaguely reassuring.

It's a pretty common thing for people to start hating their birthday, for a variety of reasons, including yours, with and without depression.

I started feeling that way about mine when I turned 27 as well, and I'm also born on the 28th (different month though) lol.