Thanks

[PetiteAngel]

Hi everyone, I hope you dont mind but I would just like to share with you why I joined this site.

Through centuries people have always moved towards certain parts of society where they feel they 'belong'. Say it starts at school, most children want to be in with 'popular crowd' and will gravitate to them..however some dont fit in for one reason or another..ie too fat/thin, weird/nerdy/ugly or come from a poorer family (I was too ugly)

Anyway self loathing (for myself) started from my earliest memory at the age of around 5 years.

I use to write dark poems always about dying and as I recall my first attempt was about the age of 13 where I ended having my stomach pumped at the hospital.
I remember a 'shrink' came to see at the hospital, and told me how bad I was for trying to take my life and if I tried again I would be locked away. I confess that was in the 1970s and things were different then.

I left home at 17 and joined the Army, thought I would fit in there..did for a while had friends ..partied but my demon came back..and I tried to take my life again.

Anyway I wont bore you much longer with my tales of woe (lol) but society still holds that taboo about suicide, religion teaches us its a sin, our colleagues say we are selfish and cowards., but some of us arent made for this world, we arent meant to be here, and each day is torture.
I must give of a strange aura because im told they find me hard to talk to or I build a wall around myself..but I cant tell them how im feeling or hurting.

I dont feel sorry for myself and I dont want pity..thats why im here, because I can say whats going on in my head, because I have found where I fit in..and whatever path I choose, I know I will be supported.

For that, I thank you all.

Thanks

 

[Jean4]

Hi everyone, I hope you dont mind but I would just like to share with you why I joined this site.

Through centuries people have always moved towards certain parts of society where they feel they 'belong'. Say it starts at school, most children want to be in with 'popular crowd' and will gravitate to them..however some dont fit in for one reason or another..ie too fat/thin, weird/nerdy/ugly or come from a poorer family (I was too ugly)

Anyway self loathing (for myself) started from my earliest memory at the age of around 5 years.

I use to write dark poems always about dying and as I recall my first attempt was about the age of 13 where I ended having my stomach pumped at the hospital.
I remember a 'shrink' came to see at the hospital, and told me how bad I was for trying to take my life and if I tried again I would be locked away. I confess that was in the 1970s and things were different then.

I left home at 17 and joined the Army, thought I would fit in there..did for a while had friends ..partied but my demon came back..and I tried to take my life again.

Anyway I wont bore you much longer with my tales of woe (lol) but society still holds that taboo about suicide, religion teaches us its a sin, our colleagues say we are selfish and cowards., but some of us arent made for this world, we arent meant to be here, and each day is torture.
I must give of a strange aura because im told they find me hard to talk to or I build a wall around myself..but I cant tell them how im feeling or hurting.

I dont feel sorry for myself and I dont want pity..thats why im here, because I can say whats going on in my head, because I have found where I fit in..and whatever path I choose, I know I will be supported.

For that, I thank you all.

Thanks

You have a great story. Thank you for sharing. We are always here for you if you want to talk. We understand

 

[Taki]

Hi everyone, I hope you dont mind but I would just like to share with you why I joined this site.

Through centuries people have always moved towards certain parts of society where they feel they 'belong'. Say it starts at school, most children want to be in with 'popular crowd' and will gravitate to them..however some dont fit in for one reason or another..ie too fat/thin, weird/nerdy/ugly or come from a poorer family (I was too ugly)

Anyway self loathing (for myself) started from my earliest memory at the age of around 5 years.

I use to write dark poems always about dying and as I recall my first attempt was about the age of 13 where I ended having my stomach pumped at the hospital.
I remember a 'shrink' came to see at the hospital, and told me how bad I was for trying to take my life and if I tried again I would be locked away. I confess that was in the 1970s and things were different then.

I left home at 17 and joined the Army, thought I would fit in there..did for a while had friends ..partied but my demon came back..and I tried to take my life again.

Anyway I wont bore you much longer with my tales of woe (lol) but society still holds that taboo about suicide, religion teaches us its a sin, our colleagues say we are selfish and cowards., but some of us arent made for this world, we arent meant to be here, and each day is torture.
I must give of a strange aura because im told they find me hard to talk to or I build a wall around myself..but I cant tell them how im feeling or hurting.

I dont feel sorry for myself and I dont want pity..thats why im here, because I can say whats going on in my head, because I have found where I fit in..and whatever path I choose, I know I will be supported.

For that, I thank you all.

Thanks

I think a lot of people here understand exactly where you've been. Thanks for your post.

 

[LegaliseIt!]

Welcome,
I think that you will find a peaceful and comfortable space here.
I like the avatar picture (George Harrison?)

 

[PetiteAngel]

Welcome,
I think that you will find a peaceful and comfortable space here.
I like the avatar picture (George Harrison?)

lol yes. my hero.