THANK YOU

[Castles]

Im about to hopefully be at peace.

What youve all given me the last few days is the peace of knowing its OK to feel how I do. Its comforting knowing there is more like me out there who feel the same way. Much love to you all.
I have a nice buzz wrote a note and feel im OK with passing and its for once not selfish to think this way.

Fuck though im scared of waking up in a hospital again

 

[Dawn0071111]

Whoa! Is this your goodbye thread?

 

[Blackjack]

This is going to be your 5th hanging attempt?

 

[Castles]

yes fifth but first time planned so i hopefully get to pass. And i hope it is my goodbye i guess im just trying to work up the nerve now i suppose.
Ive done a belt sporadically every other time and its failed four for four. This time ive tried planning and im just working up the effort now. Its peaceful when it comes i know from experience im just trying to get myself peaceful

I dont know if i can do it ffs i just want peace but im so scared of going back to a hospital

Well for once this isnt letting me pass out and rest so i dont know what to do now i wont be alone much longer and i dont want another day i cant have another
I just want to be able to rest without this weight and pain on my chest every waking moment anymore

 

[Blackjack]

You do know what the definition of insanity is, yes?

 

[Castles]

You do know what the definition of insanity is, yes?

Yes, which is why i researched and found this site to use something new instead of repeating old habits.

Which by the way wont work now since i womt be alone long enough anymore to be sure so im not risking it.

Tomorrow is another day i guess sadly. My gfs concert ended early and that didnt give me enough time to ve positive.

 

[blackflag1]

You can always later go on a hike with some SN or combine it with a jump to be all over. You can always says you are innocently clearing your mind and handle your path then.

 

[okaoki]

i hope you find peace soon.

 

[White_Room293]

You do know what the definition of insanity is, yes?

Please stop saying this for the love of dog. That literally, and not figuratively, isn't the definition of insanity.

 

[drake4871]

Best of luck Castles! Hopefully it goes your way

Yes, which is why i researched and found this site to use something new instead of repeating old habits.

Which by the way wont work now since i womt be alone long enough anymore to be sure so im not risking it.

Tomorrow is another day i guess sadly. My gfs concert ended early and that didnt give me enough time to ve positive.

At least you got more time to plan?

 

[Blackjack]

Please stop saying this for the love of dog. That literally, and not figuratively, isn't the definition of insanity.

Doing the same thing over & over again and expecting different results.

 

[Castles]

She came home early so not a goodbye

 

[Castles]

Lol im even more upset now that shes asleep now beside me and im the one still awake.

Life is a cruel ass joke