Even the idea of coming back to hell makes me sick. I want everything to end. I don't want to see this fucking planet again. I think even the worst person in this world is a victim, not a criminal. If there's a god, he's guilty. If there is, I hope the fucking bastard will die and disappear. This diseased existence ends. All I want is eternal sleep.
I love this movie!
White - I pray for death, real death. And if I thought that in death I would meet the people I knew in life, I don't know what I would do. That would be the ultimate horror, the ultimate nightmare. If I thought I was gonna meet my mother again and start all of that all over, only this time without the prospect of death to look forward to, that would be the final nightmare, Kafka on wheels.
Black - Damn, professor. You don't want to see your own mama?
White - No, I don't. I want the dead to be dead forever. And I want to be one of them. Except of course you can't be one of them. You can't be one of the dead because that which has no existence can have no community. No community. My heart warms just thinking about it... blackness, aloneness, silence, peace, and all of it only a heartbeat away. I don't regard my state of mind as some pessimistic view of the world. I regard it as the world itself. Evolution cannot avoid bringing intelligent life ultimately to an awareness of one thing, and one thing above all else. And that one thing is futility.
Black - If I'm understanding you right, you're sayingeverybody that just ain'teat up with the dumbass ought to be suicidal.
White - Yes.
Black - You ain't shitting me?
White - No, I am not shitting you. If people could see the world for what it truly is, see their lives for what they truly are, without dreams or illusions, I don't believe they could offer the first reason why they should not elect to die as soon as possible. I don't believe in God. Can you understand that? Look around you, man. Can't you see? The clamor and din of those in torment has to be the sound most pleasing to his ear. And I loathe these discussions... The argument of the village atheist whose single passion is to revile endlessly that which he denies the existence of in the first place. Your fellowship is a fellowship of pain and nothing more. And if that pain were collective instead of merely reiterative, the sheer weight of it would drag the world from the walls of the universe and send it crashing and burning down through whatever night it might yet be capable of engendering until it was not even ash. And brotherhood, justice, eternal life? Good God, man. Show me a religion that prepares one for nothingness, for death. That's a church I might enter. Yours prepares one only for more life, for dreams and illusions and lies. Banish the fear of death from men's hearts... They wouldn't live a day. Who would want this nightmare but for fear of the next? The shadow of the axe hangs over every joy. Every road ends in death, every friendship, every love. Torment, loss, betrayal, pain, suffering, age, indignity, hideous lingering illness... and all of it with a single conclusion for you and every one and every thing you have ever chosen to care for. That is the true brotherhood, the true fellowship. And everybody is a member for life. You tell me that my brother is my salvation? My salvation? Well, then damn him. Damn him in every shape and guise and form. Do I see myself in him? Yes, I do. And what I see sickens me. Do you understand me? Can you understand me? I'm sorry.