Telling your loved ones about ctb beforehand

[Golden]

Imagine that hypothetically we lived in a world where your loved ones wouldn't be able to interfere with your plans to cbt (for example if we would have the legal right to die). Would you tell your loved ones beforehand and how do you imagine those last encounters, goodbyes, would be like with them?

This is something I have thought of quite a lot. I think I'd certainly tell everyone beforehand so I could explain the reasons and answer any questions better than even a detailed suicide note would. I would also want to say goodbye to everyone and I especially believe it would be very important for the loved ones to give them the opportunity to say goodbye to me. This thought experiment makes their suffering about my ctb feel so much more real. Like, logically I've obviously always known that I would cause immense suffering but imagining having to tell my loved ones beforehand, having the beyond emotional and heartbreaking conversation one by one with everybody truly have made me feel their pain. Or the thought of having my loved ones with me when I die on some clinic like when a pet is put to sleep, everybody crying, was by far the hardest obstacle to go over before I decided I was gonna ctb regardless.

Which leads to a more practical question, to some of us. If you would be very confident that your closest person wouldn't interfere, would you tell them beforehand? This is something I'm not sure about. Now that this is somewhat of a realistic consideration for me, suddenly I'm not sure if I would be able to have the heartbreaking conversation and last goodbye. But I almost feel like I'm not justified to ctb if I'm not able to see their suffering which I cause them face to face. How much I wish I could just undo my existence...

Feel free to share any thoughts you have

 

[Some place nice]

The person I am close to is in a different state so even if he wanted to he couldn't interfere. I would definitely tell him if he were in a better place than he is now.

 

[FuneralCry]

No, I'd just choose to write notes instead to be read after I'm gone to explain that I'm at peace now. My death is insignificant, very much normal and I'd rather just quietly leave this existence in a peaceful way.

 

[springleaf]

I would definitely tell them. I have in the past fantasized about telling them and trying to explain that, for me, ctb just is the way, and ultimately the thing that would make me feel the best (aka make me feel nothing at all). I would try to convince them to not be sad, though I know I definitely would not succeed, but at least I could answer some of their questions, I guess? like tell them not to blame themselves, etc.

 

[stxrdustprincex]

i think i would prefer to just write notes to the people i'm leaving behind. i can say goodbye to them without them knowing it's goodbye. telling them i'm going to ctb seems unnecessarily cruel because they wouldn't be able to do anything and would just have to let me go.

 

[Golden]

i think i would prefer to just write notes to the people i'm leaving behind. i can say goodbye to them without them knowing it's goodbye. telling them i'm going to ctb seems unnecessarily cruel because they wouldn't be able to do anything and would just have to let me go.

Is it cruel tho, compared to them just finding out one morning? I mean for sure it would feel horrible to tell them but wouldn't they feel exactly as horrible to find out afterwards, even worse not having had the possibility to at least say goodbye?