talking to parents about your suicide plans

[regular john]

Do you think guys that talking to parents about your suicide plans makes sense or you just should suicide and tell them nothing ?

 

[WornOutLife]

If you talk to them about it, they'll try to get you some help no matter what. No parents want their child to die or even worse, CTB.
In my case, I hadn't told them anything about my plans to CTB and when I tried it and failed, they asked what the hell was going on and why I did it.
I talked to them a bit about it: my reasons for wanting to die, why I hate the world, etc but they just got me a psychiatrist and therapist.

Now, I know I can't even mention that topic. Otherwise, I'll never be 100% free again. I'll just play "the nice guy" and CTB in some months. Still, I'll leave some goodbye letters.

 

[botanormal]

If you tell them about your plans, don't you think it's likely they will try to intervene and stop you? They may try to get you sent to a psych ward, or heavily monitor you and make it impossible for you to go through with it. It would be really nice to get to talk to them about it beforehand, I'm sure having the chance to say goodbye would be very comforting, but there's a major risk of getting stopped. I guess you know your parents better than I do, so you should consider what their reactions would be.

 

[regular john]

my mum said that if I hurt myself she will go insane

 

[neverever]

I considered this too. I believed that I was of sound mind and had sensibly determined that the hope for my life is exhausted, that to CTB is the logical choice. My mom has even shared that she would be amazed if I endured the difficulty of my circumstances. So I wrote down my main points to organize them, and then approached my parents when they were calm to talk about it. They panicked and threatened to take me to the hospital. I guess that it cannot be rationally discussed.

 

[Steamm]

I already did, and they think I'm joking and that I'm not capable of doing this.

 

[FluffyDove]

I told my dad I couldn't handle my life after my last failed attempt. He offered to drive me to Beachy Head himself, so noone in the family would have to deal with finding my body. So I wouldn't ever trust my family with something like this again. I doubt they will even have a funeral for me.

 

[Maka hiamoe]

I won't tell them anything. My mom is probably gonna lose both me and her mother (to cancer) in the same year so you can probably imagine what her reaction would be if I told her I'm going to kill myself, no ifs or buts. She has no clue how much I am suffering and wouldn't understand why I want to die, she would get angry, call me selfish and try to guilt-trip me, asking how I can even think about doing that to her. Do I feel bad for making my mother go through that ? Yes. Is it gonna stop me ? No. I have already lived far longer than I should have. I have had more than enough.

 

[greyhound]

I've told them and although they say stuff like they couldn't live without me I think they have somewhat resigned themselves to it.
They know I'm chronically ill and this is my reason for it.
I haven't given them concrete plans / dates which I think prevents their alarm bells from going off. But I did get my will drafted recently so I think they know I'm fairly serious.

I think it helps in a way so that they won't be completely shocked when it happens.

 

[Sakura94]

It depends on the situatuion really. Sometimes it's good to get a better lay of the land if you're not sure. They can't stop you long term.

 

[Frauw]

My mother knows and she's "fine" with it, in the way that she knows I've suffered and its an option. She loves me enough to let me go.

 

[demuic]

I have already "attempted" once so my mom is aware of how I feel, but I still don't think she quite understands that I'm not magically cured just because I'm not actively discussing being depressed or suicide.

I hope that is preparation enough so it's not a "shock". Though my mother loves to turn a blind eye to how shit my life is, and still thinks I have to go on because I could "do anything," I can only complain so much before it turns into an argument.

The only reason I'm still here is to spare her feelings, but eventually I'm sure my suffering will override any thought I have toward that.

 

[stygal]

I've given some hints now and then. My mom is even with me when it comes to being a pro-choice antinatalist and generally hating life and the current state of the world.

But in the end she still wouldn't let me exit this shithole if she knew my plan. So I can't ever tell her.
She believes that everything about my situation can be solved somehow and I just have to "wait and see" to get happier and get my physical health back.
I know that me leaving is going to break her heart but I can't stay either (just to be with her or make her happy).

 

[Chupacabra 44]

I told my dad I couldn't handle my life after my last failed attempt. He offered to drive me to Beachy Head himself, so noone in the family would have to deal with finding my body. So I wouldn't ever trust my family with something like this again. I doubt they will even have a funeral for me.

Your dad might be using bad judgment and trying reverse psychology on you. If push were to come to shove, and you were to request that he drive you to Beachy Head, and in essance call his bluff, it's doubtful he would follow through, or if he is strong willed/stubborn he might drive you, but ultimately intervene, at some point, when he becomes convinced you are serious. If he is strictly just a psychopathic, narcissistic asshole and he were to drive you and you were to jump, he would be facing criminal charges for assisted suicide, and I can assure you that the court would not look kindly on a parent acting in this fashion.

Regardless, this is crappy parenting, and I'm sorry you're treated this way.

 

[UiopQwerty]

Ive told my "parents" and sisters and brotjers that I am sucidial.
No reaction.
The last time I had a conversation with my brother he just said "-Good luck".

Heh. So I guess it doesnt matter, These are my shoes!
If my relative came to me saying.... - I will kill myself! I would do something....
But thats just me I guess...

 

[astro]

I've told my family and I think that it was a good decision. When it happens, they won't be suprised by it and that could lessen the impact it has on them. I still wouldn't advise you to do it, though. You might not be numb to threats like 'I'll kill myself if you do.' like I am and depending on your situation your parents could make it a lot harder for you to actually go through with it.

 

[Neowise]

I guess it depends on the type of relationship one has with their parents. If it is a positive, supportive and loveful relationship where everyone has always been honest then one may or may not talk about it.
I don't have this kind of family so I will never tell my family about that.

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

My family doesn't take me seriously anymore because I have been suicidal for so long/gone inpatient so many times/or just had so many gestures/or attempts in the past. I told my uncle I wanted to kill myself a while back and he told me that he would just throw me and my baby (pregnant) in a hole and to be sure not to do it in his house (live in one of his rentals) because it will make the property value go down. Oh well, I don't need them to take me seriously.

 

[IAmExhausted]

I think they have somewhat resigned themselves to it.

I had the same feeling the last times I touched the subject. Ten years ago I had my first serious attempt. I'm living with mental illness for about 27 years. Within the past couple of years I had many mental breakdowns. My parents clearly see that I'm not feeling good. Last time my dad said, almost crying, they wish they could help me but they're old. And that's true. It sounded a bit of a look back like, we tried so many things over the years, we can't do it anymore. It was quite sad.

 

[Squiddy]

My family doesn't take me seriously anymore because I have been suicidal for so long/gone inpatient so many times/or just had so many gestures/or attempts in the past. I told my uncle I wanted to kill myself a while back and he told me that he would just throw me and my baby (pregnant) in a hole and to be sure not to do it in his house (live in one of his rentals) because it will make the property value go down. Oh well, I don't need them to take me seriously.

I was told something similar when I told my mom I wanted to ctb. She told me not to do it in the house and to go outside in the woods :\

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

I was told something similar when I told my mom I wanted to ctb. She told me not to do it in the house and to go outside in the woods :\

I really dislike when people say things like that. I kind of get where they're coming from I guess, but man does it also come off as insensitive and careless. For example, even if my uncle or anyone else in my family doesn't take me seriously (same for you and anyone else this applies to), it's still insensitive to say something like that to someone when they are so vulnerable.

 

[Squiddy]

I really dislike when people say things like that. I kind of get where they're coming from I guess, but man does it also come off as insensitive and careless. For example, even if my uncle or anyone else in my family doesn't take me seriously (same for you and anyone else this applies to), it's still insensitive to say something like that to someone when they are so vulnerable.

I 100% agree. It's a pretty messed up thing to say :\