Method Talking to my mom about suicide/Nitrogen

[hamtaro]

I want to ctb due to physical reasons.

Straight up asked my mom today, "If I plan a way, would you stop me?"

The response was...well, I don't know what I was hoping for.

"I won't help you, and I don't want it done in my house." Then a lot of religious talk, that I just want to give up, don't want to try (which is not true; I've attempted all meds suggested so far, attempted to add new foods into my diet, etc.), we're going to keep pushing forward with treatments and uplifting thoughts and turning it over to Jesus, and so, so much more.

Long story short, I thought the nitrogen method would give best results, but if I can't set up/keep the equipment here where I live (with the parents due to financial/health reasons), then it's not really feasible anymore, is it?

Guess I should've labeled this as a vent. Open to thoughts & suggestions (already have enough prayers aimed at me ).

 

[outrider567]

I want to ctb due to physical reasons.

Straight up asked my mom today, "If I plan a way, would you stop me?"

The response was...well, I don't know what I was hoping for.

"I won't help you, and I don't want it done in my house." Then a lot of religious talk, that I just want to give up, don't want to try (which is not true; I've attempted all meds suggested so far, attempted to add new foods into my diet, etc.), we're going to keep pushing forward with treatments and uplifting thoughts and turning it over to Jesus, and so, so much more.

Long story short, I thought the nitrogen method would give best results, but if I can't set up/keep the equipment here where I live (with the parents due to financial/health reasons), then it's not really feasible anymore, is it?

Guess I should've labeled this as a vent. Open to thoughts & suggestions (already have enough prayers aimed at me ).

You're in a tough spot--Your mother reminds me of my own late mother--Without your own place, Nitrogen method is quite difficult--One poster here stated she was thinking of sneaking in the tank(if you can get it) and other stuff, in a ground floor motel room, guess that's your only real option

 

[hamtaro]

Thank you for taking the time to read and respond to my thread. I hope that you will soon be able to achieve respite from your suffering.

You're in a tough spot--Your mother reminds me of my own late mother--Without your own place, Nitrogen method is quite difficult--One poster here stated she was thinking of sneaking in the tank(if you can get it) and other stuff, in a ground floor motel room, guess that's your only real option

 

[hamtaro]

Posted on the partner thread, in case any locals might be interested. I realize that there are risks involved, but my quality of life is such that, were I a dog, a compassionate person would Old Yeller me.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry life has become so unbearable.

It would be wonderful if our parents were so empathetic and sympathetic to our pain and that they agreed that CTB was our best option and did what they could to help us. In a way, I would see that as the ultimate selfless love. Unfortunately though- I suspect many of our parents simply don't see life like we do. I imagine most see it as a precious thing that needs to be protected at all costs.

Unless your pain is obviously visible- say being mostly paralysed or terminally ill and in constant pain, I think most people in general feel like your problems aren't serious enough to call it quits.

Honestly, I doubt many parents would help their child CTB. Perhaps some would support an authorised assisted suicide at a clinic but I doubt many would a home made effort.

Is it actually legal to assist a suicide in your country? It isn't in mine. I imagine most suicides are at least partly investigated as suspicious deaths- so- it would have to be obvious it was suicide and not murder. If it was clear that you couldn't have obtained all that necessary equipment by yourself- it would need to be clear it was your intent and not theirs. Either way, there could be jail time involved (at least in my country). Just on a practicality level, I'm not sure many parents would be willing to risk that. I'm sorry.

 

[almaranthine]

This is precisely why I don't talk to my mom about anything serious because getting the "Jesus will fix it" response infuriates me. Honestly, while the conversation didn't go the way you wanted it to go... it really could have ended up much worse. A lot of people will freak out and try to commit a loved one after any serious mention of suicide. I'm sorry they don't understand.

 

[hamtaro]

This is precisely why I don't talk to my mom about anything serious because getting the "Jesus will fix it" response infuriates me. Honestly, while the conversation didn't go the way you wanted it to go... it really could have ended up much worse. A lot of people will freak out and try to commit a loved one after any serious mention of suicide. I'm sorry they don't understand.

Thank you for reading and responding. I have already been committed three times over the past seven years, and it's actually not something my parents want to see happen again.

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally never see it as being beneficial to open up to others about our wish to leave. Often other people don't want to accept that life is not worth living for the person and they don't really understand what the person goes through, so they invalidate rather than accept how awful things really are. I believe that talking about suicide could potentially make things worse as so many people don't respect the right to die and don't respect suicide as an option.
It must be tiring what you are going through and I hope that when the time is right for you to leave, you find freedom from all suffering.

 

[makethepainstop]

Posted on the partner thread, in case any locals might be interested. I realize that there are risks involved, but my quality of life is such that, were I a dog, a compassionate person would Old Yeller me.

The only problem is that your compassionate person would be jailed for murder, and or sued by your loving family. Though I have to agree that a little help would not be despised in my case or yours.

 

[hamtaro]

The only problem is that your compassionate person would be jailed for murder, and or sued by your loving family. Though I have to agree that a little help would not be despised in my case or yours.

Ah, that's why we need your Mission Impossible team!