Surviving hardship

[Arrow]

I have suddenly had to go through some pretty difficult times, and my already very uncertain future is looking even more uncertain.

There is pretty much no doubt in my mind most of you can relate to this type of situation so the details don't really matter.

I've been bouncing around philosophies/perspectives i can use to try and deal with this problem in an emotional sense, and the struggle now is finding a way to persist through hardship.

harship like getting stomped into the ground and peeling yourself off of the sidewalk with whatever body parts still work, or falling into a chasm and crawling your way back into the light. pretty much just struggling against everything in the world just to have something again.

in these situations where you're dragging yourself along by your fingers in the dark, as hard as it seems, it appears that past goals need to be totally thrown out—at least for the time being—and adjusted such that getting yourself just an inch or two forwards is that day's big accomplishment. tomorrow's must be another couple inches, and so on.

but being content enough with such an incredible struggle to keep going is the big mystery that i think just about all of us want an answer to. does it take discipline? motivation? i'm just gonna have to keep thinking…

well, have any of you guys stumbled across helpful perspectives that aid in your recovery at all? struggling against it all really feels like trying not to get dragged out to sea, it is very difficult i'm sure you guys know. anyways yeah, feel free to share. end of post.

 

[WadeingThru]

Watching cartoons.

 

[Forever Dead]

I have suddenly had to go through some pretty difficult times, and my already very uncertain future is looking even more uncertain.

There is pretty much no doubt in my mind most of you can relate to this type of situation so the details don't really matter.

I've been bouncing around philosophies/perspectives i can use to try and deal with this problem in an emotional sense, and the struggle now is finding a way to persist through hardship.

harship like getting stomped into the ground and peeling yourself off of the sidewalk with whatever body parts still work, or falling into a chasm and crawling your way back into the light. pretty much just struggling against everything in the world just to have something again.

in these situations where you're dragging yourself along by your fingers in the dark, as hard as it seems, it appears that past goals need to be totally thrown out—at least for the time being—and adjusted such that getting yourself just an inch or two forwards is that day's big accomplishment. tomorrow's must be another couple inches, and so on.

but being content enough with such an incredible struggle to keep going is the big mystery that i think just about all of us want an answer to. does it take discipline? motivation? i'm just gonna have to keep thinking…

well, have any of you guys stumbled across helpful perspectives that aid in your recovery at all? struggling against it all really feels like trying not to get dragged out to sea, it is very difficult i'm sure you guys know. anyways yeah, feel free to share. end of post.

Maybe read some literature on Buddhism and stoicism. The buddhists and stoics are very much into this kind of thing. They are very much into tackling the things you are talking about, but in some very interesting ways.

 

[timf]

There are those for whom reality harshly intrudes in their lives. Combat veterans, police, emergency room nurses, ex-cons, abuse victims, car accident victims, those with severe health problems, etc.

For us, there is not much chance of following a life of whimsy, frivolity, and foolishness. As a result, we are only going to infrequently encounter others with a similar perspective. This rarity makes such friendships much more valuable.

Sometimes volunteer work can be helpful because there is a chance that those who need the help you can give will help you avoid the temptation to sink into a self-focus that can amplify difficulties.

As far as a philosophy and perspectives go, I found a return to my Christian faith helpful. However, the skills of cutting through BS that surviving abuse gives one were useful in cutting through all the BS surrounding various churches and poor presentations of Christianity. I suspect that if one follows Buddhism or Islam, that a similar surgical process could be helpful.

Experiencing harsher realities can given one the advantage of seeing things in truth. While the soft comforts of self-deception are not as available, there can be satisfaction in seeing things more as they are.

 

[NickiStix]

I've found that distracting myself helps the most. I usually just play an online game with a friend to keep myself preoccupied.

 

[cooldude420]

You will need to surround yourself with friends, family, community, etc., that will be your cheerleaders and encourage you. And make sure that these people are fine if you sound like a broken record and just repeating yourself over and over again.

You will have to have consistent exercise routine. Something you can do and enjoy. Get your mind off of things. I would say 40% of the people in the gym are there for mental health reasons. It can almost be a form of spirituality for some. The relationship between mental health and physical exercise is well researched and documented.

Quit social media if you must. Comparison is the enemy of joy. It is easy to see others lives while your own sucks.

Focus on things that you can control, no matter how small they are.

I am also a huge fan of mindfulness meditation. I regularly tell people they can get the Waking Up app for free for a year.

 

[KimKevorkian]

Grt that you mention the WakingUp app. Terrific resource. Just sift through to find something that feels more accessible and "clicks" a bit.

 

[cooldude420]

Grt that you mention the WakingUp app. Terrific resource. Just sift through to find something that feels more accessible and "clicks" a bit.

And you can get a free year from them.....

 

[KimKevorkian]

And you can get a free year from them.....

Yeah. How about that? Super generous of them. Couldn't figure out that headless way though. Just didn't work for me. Pretty hard to delude oneself into the belief one has no head. Unless you're Marie Antoinette. Or Murray Antoinette.