Countless times I have felt the urge to CTB when lying in bed staring up at the ceiling but every time I'm actually facing my peace, I feel like I can't control the instinct to pull away. After the whole event is over I feel worse and more hollow inside than ever. I just really hope I get hit by a truck or die in my sleep. I know all of you have probably heard this story before but it helps to get it out in writing. Thank you all for being here and making this community a moment of relief in my miserable existence.
Brick In The Wall
2M Or Not 2B.
- Oct 30, 2019
- 25,158
I definitely understand this feeling. It's a process for sure. No one wakes up one day and just decides to CTB. It's something that's been brewing inside for a long time.
This could mean you're not ready yet. As cruel as it sounds life has to chip away at you enough until you reach a certain point. For some that time comes quicker then others. For some it may never come at all.
This could mean you're not ready yet. As cruel as it sounds life has to chip away at you enough until you reach a certain point. For some that time comes quicker then others. For some it may never come at all.
If SI didn't exist I would have been dead years ago.
throwaway123
Hell0
- Aug 5, 2018
- 1,446
You make it sound like one always CTB too late, when the suffering has reached a point when it has become unbearable. Oh no, well that reminds me of that quote. You always kill yourself too late.
I was really trying to avoid additional suffering by CTB. Isn't that what CTB is all about?
A_Poetic_Death
"Existence is pain."
- Dec 19, 2019
- 26
WhyamIstillhere
Member
- Jan 27, 2020
- 90
You want it bad enough or you don't conquer it, there's no advice someone can give you to be in the state of mind that would allow you to do it. Really depends on your method though, something with a lot of time to second guess will be much harder to get over than a trigger. That being said, alcohol
A_Poetic_Death
"Existence is pain."
- Dec 19, 2019
- 26
drake4871
The restless
- Sep 10, 2019
- 171
Yup, if you really-really wanted to do it... it would've been done. That being said it's easier if you make the chance of death lesslikely, like Russian roulette
