Survival instinct kicking in

[drennedrat]

I've made some preparations for my ctb - setting things aside for my parents to give to my friends, finding a suitable tree in the woods, and beginning cleaning and writing my note. But with these things I've been having last minute thoughts like I can't do this to my family. I really am set on leaving, but I know I'll have to get pretty drunk to take the leap. I just feel so guilty at the thought of my parents learning where I've gone but I hope that they will be able to cope okay. Perhaps I'll wait another week. I've been planning on this for a while and I know I have all the time in the world but I'd like to go before my job takes too much time training me and wasting their resources. I know plenty of people can relate I just wanted to get my thoughts out.
I've attempted before so I hope that it's not the craziest shock to my parents. I just wish I could tell them to warn them somehow without being stopped.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me it certainly is like the survival instinct just exists to prolong suffering and keep one trapped here but anyway I wish you the best with your plans.