L
LastBitOfJoy
Member
- Dec 18, 2023
- 71
I was about to do it, got so close to it but there was something that I couldn't overcome : Survival Instinct.
I just couldn't get myself to do it, I don't know why, it was so strong that I couldn't even grab the glass. It would make sense if I was in danger, but it just feels so stupid while I am so sure I want to die.
My life will only get worse everyday I don't kill myself.
I just find it very brave when people ctb, it's a hard decision and they can do it. I can't even kill myself, even if it's simple as taking the SN drink.
My brain always finds its way to torture me, this time its move was keeping me alive, making me doubt it. It's a big manipulative machine, I have to counteract it very strongly, otherwise it wins.
It's just stupid at the last time my brain tries to survive, if you are this strong dude, why don't you use that force while I am alive during the day to make my life easier? Why is it like this?
I just couldn't get myself to do it, I don't know why, it was so strong that I couldn't even grab the glass. It would make sense if I was in danger, but it just feels so stupid while I am so sure I want to die.
My life will only get worse everyday I don't kill myself.
I just find it very brave when people ctb, it's a hard decision and they can do it. I can't even kill myself, even if it's simple as taking the SN drink.
My brain always finds its way to torture me, this time its move was keeping me alive, making me doubt it. It's a big manipulative machine, I have to counteract it very strongly, otherwise it wins.
It's just stupid at the last time my brain tries to survive, if you are this strong dude, why don't you use that force while I am alive during the day to make my life easier? Why is it like this?