Help Surrounded by people, yet completely alone.

[Square251]

I was at a convention yesterday for games, anime and whatnot. I was surrounded by like minded people and I socialized with them and yet I was totally disconnected. I'm still just as lonely. The connections with people felt shallow and pointless. I know I'll barely talk to any of them after the event. It was just empty. It reminds me of when you're dreaming about eating or drinking. You keep going and going and going but it doesn't make any difference. You're just as empty as you were when you started, sometimes even emptier in a weird way. I hate it so much. This isolation is one of my main reasons for me to ctb and it never gets any better. How does anyone deal with this?

 

[timf]

Brief encounters seldom connect to a deep level. This usually takes repetition and that usually comes from proximity such as coworkers, neighbors, or fellow members of a volunteer or church group.

 

[Square251]

Brief encounters seldom connect to a deep level. This usually takes repetition and that usually comes from proximity such as coworkers, neighbors, or fellow members of a volunteer or church group.

The same thing happens with people I've known for years. There's even one friend whom I've known for my entire life. It still feels shallow without true depth.

 

[skittle-chan]

i have the same problem but i tried to ignore it and i ended up being surrounded by people who do not understand me and do not appreciate my true self. in order to socialize i faked my interests, my behaviour my whole personality. i feel that they do not appreciate me they appreciate somebody who does not exist. i cannot tell anyone how i truly feel and i cannot even behave in a way i want. but every single day i dream about someone who will be by my side for me and accept my true self ( i hesitate that it will ever happen because i have never experienced this feeling before). i think about ctb but even if i die nobody will mourn for actual me. i keep a card with a quote from chainsaw man; having a person who will mourn about you after your death makes people happy. i want to have such people but you know haha i do not know how to find a true connection and find somebody who will truly love me.

 

[Grav]

No answer but feel the same thing. Maybe it's just dumb luck running into someone?

 

[ChiseHatori]

I'm quite similar. Have you considered that you could have DP/DR or a similar disorder? It explained a lot of my feelings, but sadly it's a difficult thing to treat.