I
iwanttodie000
Student
- Feb 15, 2021
- 199
Anyone else feel extremely surreal or almost out of body after setting a ctb date? For the first time, I set a speciifc date to ctb and ever since, it's the strangest coolest feeling. It's like I am on the outside looking in at myself. I'm starting to see myself spend money more freely, just have a "freer" attitude about stuff in life because I'm going to be gone anyway. I really don't know how to explain it. The only problem with that theory is if I chicken out, then I am fucked. I have said for years I am going to be dead by whatever general time frame, I never set a specific date. I'm finding it kinda hard though to keep that feeling when I'm around loved ones though. I have to pretend that everything is cool and normal not to raise suspician which is difficult. Ugh, time will tell how everything plays out I guess.
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