Alwaysbadtime
Enlightened
- Jun 28, 2021
- 1,158
Today feels like a horribly long day. Everyday is very long. I am always pissed and regretful. My feet hurt a lot and it makes me think about poisioning and also how I was not a good cat owner. My feet feel like they are in hot water.
The person I live with said again that it would be good if I got a hobby. Something to do. They said that it's hard to feel motivated when I don't do anything. I can't think of anything to do as a hobby. I used to make cute earrings, but it takes a long time to build up nice beads and my earring holes have covered up and I just don't fucking care to give my mom another pair of earrings. I can't think of anything realistic that would be fun to do. He suggested he would build me a shelter outside in the backyard for me to do this in. His ideas make no sense. Why would I want to sit in an unairconditioned/heated shack doing a hobby? And who would pay for the building of the shack? His mother.
Even SS is getting really boring to me. I posted about something really important to me and it was ignored. I don't care, but when I go on if I don't have notifications I just don't feel like scrolling through shit. I'm sure people perhaps reading this are just as bored reading my shit.
Everything is very boring and I think about my past pets and the sad animals I know about in the world and in my local shitty community. Nothing makes sense. Yesterday I saw a dirt field getting watered. Why? Also there's fields of just grass getting watered.
Basically what I do is look at horrible shitty happenings in the world reported online. My brain really hurts like a constant hangover.
Today is cloudy and some rain. This is better than bright and sunny, but holyfuck there is NOTHING to do.
I'm so pissed thinking about my other relatives enjoying the day filling it with tasks and leisure. There's no way in fuck I can keep doing this. I'm grossed out and saddened by the news and I hate so many things. Literally every car or truck I see I am triggered. Every person I see I am triggered. There is so much shit in this shitty little town that I hate. It doesn't even take a whole ciggerette lit and smoked to drive through town and yet there are neighborhoods and hellhole houses everywhere. I don't understand where people work and where the old people who live here where they once worked.
Fuck all this shit. I'm glad I am safe today, but I know it won't be so in the future.
I'm fucking isolated. Two TVs are on and I'm not watching either of them. I seek interaction online and for the most part it's super boring etc etc. There's literally nothing to do ever...but worry and feel bad. So bad.
The person I live with said again that it would be good if I got a hobby. Something to do. They said that it's hard to feel motivated when I don't do anything. I can't think of anything to do as a hobby. I used to make cute earrings, but it takes a long time to build up nice beads and my earring holes have covered up and I just don't fucking care to give my mom another pair of earrings. I can't think of anything realistic that would be fun to do. He suggested he would build me a shelter outside in the backyard for me to do this in. His ideas make no sense. Why would I want to sit in an unairconditioned/heated shack doing a hobby? And who would pay for the building of the shack? His mother.
Even SS is getting really boring to me. I posted about something really important to me and it was ignored. I don't care, but when I go on if I don't have notifications I just don't feel like scrolling through shit. I'm sure people perhaps reading this are just as bored reading my shit.
Everything is very boring and I think about my past pets and the sad animals I know about in the world and in my local shitty community. Nothing makes sense. Yesterday I saw a dirt field getting watered. Why? Also there's fields of just grass getting watered.
Basically what I do is look at horrible shitty happenings in the world reported online. My brain really hurts like a constant hangover.
Today is cloudy and some rain. This is better than bright and sunny, but holyfuck there is NOTHING to do.
I'm so pissed thinking about my other relatives enjoying the day filling it with tasks and leisure. There's no way in fuck I can keep doing this. I'm grossed out and saddened by the news and I hate so many things. Literally every car or truck I see I am triggered. Every person I see I am triggered. There is so much shit in this shitty little town that I hate. It doesn't even take a whole ciggerette lit and smoked to drive through town and yet there are neighborhoods and hellhole houses everywhere. I don't understand where people work and where the old people who live here where they once worked.
Fuck all this shit. I'm glad I am safe today, but I know it won't be so in the future.
I'm fucking isolated. Two TVs are on and I'm not watching either of them. I seek interaction online and for the most part it's super boring etc etc. There's literally nothing to do ever...but worry and feel bad. So bad.
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