Help Suicide thoughts are driving me insane tonight. Considering hanging as an option

[Dutchyala]

I ordered SN but is going to take a while to come. I'm feeling very anxious today I can't take it anymore.

I cut the screen out of the window before and I can't stop thinking of jumping and being terrified at the thought of surviving by chance. There are iron circles (sorry I don't know how it is called in English) stuck on the wall outside my window, used for the screen protector. I have a 3 meters rope. I'm thinking of tying the rope there and trying to hang myself.

I live on the 14th floor. What are the chances of breaking my neck if I jump outside? If I don't CTB at once someone will likely find me before I die, might as well fall in front of someone's window and it's going to be more painful and traumatizing than jumping to the floor.

I could try to do a partial hanging from inside where no one will find me until it's too late but I probably going to fail at it because I suck at everything. Can someone help me with how to do it more efficiently?


Thank you for any help

*Edited and added later: Never mind the drop hanging. I just read and won't risk something going wrong. It's better to just jump. But I appreciate any help in partial hanging and experiences shared.

 

[catch99]

There have been reports of people surviving jumps from absurd heights, so anything is possible. I would much rather jump than SN though I'll say that. I'm generally pro choice but I don't know your situation. It's not too late to try and turn your life around. Sometimes you just need someone to talk to, PM me :)

 

[Rustysoupcan]

I'm not trying to discourage you by saying this, but I found partial a lot harder than it seemed. I practiced and thought I could get it, but when the real thing came I just couldn't successfully do it. For me personally, I would choose SN. Maybe jumping just isn't my style, but I wouldn't want that moment or regret before I hit the pavement. Message me if you want to talk to anyone, I promise I'm not a preachy pro life person❤

 

[Dutchyala]

There have been reports of people surviving jumps from absurd heights, so anything is possible. I would much rather jump than SN though I'll say that. I'm generally pro choice but I don't know your situation. It's not too late to try and turn your life around. Sometimes you just need someone to talk to, PM me :)

I'm not trying to discourage you by saying this, but I found partial a lot harder than it seemed. I practiced and thought I could get it, but when the real thing came I just couldn't successfully do it. For me personally, I would choose SN. Maybe jumping just isn't my style, but I wouldn't want that moment or regret before I hit the pavement. Message me if you want to talk to anyone, I promise I'm not a preachy pro life person❤

Thank you both for answering! I feel less anxious after taking my dose of Xanax. I appreciate the support, I'll dm if I need to talk ❤

There is no hope for me. I'm being treated but I can't feel pleasure with anything, can't work, don't have friends. I depend on my brother which isn't happy about having to support me. I have autism which makes everything harder. I really want to die.

I can only do it from my room, I don't leave my home much due to my mental issues. That is why for now my choices are SN, jumping, or hanging.
Jumping would be easier but I'm scared of that very slight chance of surviving and end up paralyzed, brain-damaged, and life becoming even worse and I can't even CTB anymore. But the option is always here tempting me. I don't think I will regret the choice of dying but the panic and fear of the last moment must be huge, when I look down I feel uneasy. I read many times how to do it properly and I'm still scared that if I do, the survival instinct will kick in and I'll try to automatically protect myself somehow ending up very hurt instead of dead.

SN looks easier because I'm not scared of dying but to live and have permanent damage. I have the antiemetics already and I can easily fast. I don't eat much.
My brothers wouldn't bother me if I'm unconscious. I'll just lock my door and they will just think I'm sleeping and let me alone so passing out of SN or hanging in my room is safe from being rescued. I already bought SN and I'm waiting to arrive, I hope it works. I just got very anxious today. I think that my current dose of Xanax is already losing effect and I have these very strong anxiety attacks where every second looks like an eternity.

Rustysoupcan Thanks for sharing your experience. I feel like I would have trouble doing partial hanging too. I will try to wait for the SN.

 

[Rustysoupcan]

@Dutchyala I hope you find your peace, however that may look for you ❤

 

[jussrav]

I ordered SN but is going to take a while to come. I'm feeling very anxious today I can't take it anymore.

I cut the screen out of the window before and I can't stop thinking of jumping and being terrified at the thought of surviving by chance. There are iron circles (sorry I don't know how it is called in English) stuck on the wall outside my window, used for the screen protector. I have a 3 meters rope. I'm thinking of tying the rope there and trying to hang myself.

I live on the 14th floor. What are the chances of breaking my neck if I jump outside? If I don't CTB at once someone will likely find me before I die, might as well fall in front of someone's window and it's going to be more painful and traumatizing than jumping to the floor.

I could try to do a partial hanging from inside where no one will find me until it's too late but I probably going to fail at it because I suck at everything. Can someone help me with how to do it more efficiently?


Thank you for any help

*Edited and added later: Never mind the drop hanging. I just read and won't risk something going wrong. It's better to just jump. But I appreciate any help in partial hanging and experiences shared.

If you jump and survive u will end up disabled break your legs, eat through a tube in a nursing home. You dont want that on top of whats happening to you its bad enough. I am going to try sn. Just worried if I screw it up then what.