Discussion Suicide & the Inner Child

[Celerity]

In some threads of psychology and in the Adult Children of Alcoholics tradition, there is a concept called the "inner child". The goal is to identify the innocent but damaged aspect of the self that was hurt and hidden away behind defense mechanisms in childhood. Since many children of abusive and neglectful parents struggle with self-esteem issues, a large portion of therapy is devoted to rebuilding a relationship to one's "inner child" by cultivating self-love and removing oneself from damaging situations and people.

Now, this is not a view ACoA would endorse at all, but I feel like suicide may be the greatest form of self-love in the right circumstances. I have hated myself for many years, and this self-hatred has played a large part in my suicidal ideation, but my desire to commit suicide is the strongest when I am primarily interested in protecting myself, not when I feel self-hatred.

The more loving I feel toward my younger self, the more strongly I feel that I should CTB. Does anybody else feel the same way? No inner child or ACoA lingo is required.

 

[WornOutLife]

The only inner child I'm able to find is my 12 year old self who had to go to school every single day and suffer because he was totally isolated and that turned him into a suicidal person. I really love him and understand him but those memories only remind me that most human beings just suck and now, even more!

However, there's something good. In spite of all the suffering, I've always been a good person and had passion for things. Some people have said I'm a good friend, partner, teacher and maybe leader.

I dunno if that's true but the only thing I know is that I know hell and my inner child does too.

Thus, we both wanna leave this world asap but as long as we can't, we'll keep on fighting.

(I dunno if my reply makes any sense but "my inner child" and "me" typed together. I'm probably losing my mind lol)

 

[Celerity]

The only inner child I'm able to find is my 12 year old self who had to go to school every single day and suffer because he was totally isolated and that turned him into a suicidal person. I really love him and understand him but those memories only remind me that most humans being just suck and now, even more!

However, there's something good. In spite of all the suffering, I've always been a good person and had passion for things. Some people have said I'm a good friend, partner, teacher and maybe leader.

I dunno if that's true but the only thing I know is that I know hell and my inner child does too.

Thus, we both wanna leave this world asap but as long as we can't, we'll keep on fighting.

(I dunno if my reply makes any sense but "my inner child" and "me" typed together. I'm probably losing my mind lol)

The Inner Child stuff is really weird. Some therapists even recommend hugging yourself or holding a stuffed animal or some shit. I found it way too weird, lol.

 

[motel rooms]

Self-love, self-acceptance, self-forgiveness, self-compassion... I can hug myself and kiss the mirror all I want, but I can't see myself as a human being worthy of any of that. I got rid of all of the old photos of me, that child is dead & buried.